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When the average person finds out they have to get a root canal, have an abnormal pap result, have elevated cholesterol, have a lump in their breast and need to get a mammogram, depending on the severity of the news the react accordingly and take steps to deal with it.
When a person with IC gets such news, however little or significant, the reaction can be very pronounced-likened to the PTSD reactions where one relives all of the physical and emotional experiences they had when the event that triggered it first took place. That even, could be the IC or any number of other disorders having come before or after it.
Once a condition gets set into motion that becomes chronic, the person having it assumes that everything coming next will also become chronic and nothing will be able to be done about that new problem. This is quite understandable for obvious reasons.
What I would recommend is taking a moment, breathing, breathing again, and then agreeing with yourself that before you panic, you will first find out all the facts and the options. Often there are many options to a problem that are not immediately understood without further research. For example, I will bring up the issue of root canals because it is a common one. It has been researched and determined that each tooth is related to a different organ system in the body in the world of alternative medicine. Interestingly, I have found over the years that often when the body is endeavoring to clear itself of excess toxins or microorganisms, it will come in the form of tooth pain. This pain can be quite severe. Over the years I have seen many people getting root canals during such times. However, as the years have passed, I have realized that if given the correct kinds of supplements, the need for the root canal may be diverted and the tooth pain completely eliminated.
I have experienced many such cases. More recently, I have learned that laser therapy may be used in such cases ( I am not certain if all things are equal and they are interchangeable) and may divert this need as well. This latest lesson was a surprise as I am not an advocate of laser therapy, often seeing where it can spur on problems with people pre IC or peri-IC. However, it does seem to have a significant place in the treatment of such conditions and as times passes, I am certain more will be learned regarding this subject.
but getting back to my point, the point is, one never knows what the facts, options, and alternatives are. IT is best to realize that one's nervous reactions are conditioned to over react due to having had so much bad news before, and it is expected to have overly pronounced reactions to all the things that life holds due to that previous experience. But, with time, one will begin to realize that things can change and improve and news does not always have to be grim and hopeless. There is hope, there is help, and there are options. As this realization occurs, less and less "PTSD" type reactions will happen. In the mean time, use your intellectual understanding of what is going on inside of yourself to exert control over these reactions so that you stay centered and calm. Being upset does nothing but upset the situation further. As you understand it, you can do it with lots of practice.
Dr.B
Comments
I Made A Mistake
and am so sorry! Someone just emailed me and thanked me for this post. But, she then said that she felt very bad that I had written that if one can intellectualize what is happening that eventually they can improve with practice. OF course that feels like assigning blame if you can't. And, I absolutely did not mean it that way. That is almost like some other authors who suggest that IC is caused by your own feelings, which, I also do not agree with-even though they have a part in creating certain kinds of energetic effects in one's body.What I mean by this is almost what I said, but, I mean it, as a person gets healthier and healthier-more and more in balance, his or her body and mind will start to react differently because their experience of their own reactions will react differently. As this happens, the fears and anticipations and anxieties will reduce.the easiest and most clear example of this is sex. Most women coming to me cannot have sex. The fear is they will never have sex again. There is so much pain around the sex itself and the symptoms after and often people get infections or such increase in their normal symptoms, it hardly seems worth it. The statement these women make is always that they fear they will never be able to have sex again normally if at all. The percentage of women that this changes for through this kind of treatment is astronomically high-if I had to guess, probably 98%. The dynamic of fear and anxiety that slowly turns into apprehensive optimism of one's body, that then later turns into actual trust is a huge process. Much of it is physical, but, there is a lot of emotional compensation as those physical changes take place.And, this is what I am speaking about as I described things above. The sex is a very specific topic, but, the process is the same with other things. In no way do I mean to imply if you cannot just intellectualize it you are a failure. I am so sorry if it suggested otherwise. I truly apologize. And of course, I am speaking about the average kind of person going through this kind of treatment. I am not a psychiatrist speaking professionally about such diagnosable conditions. I am speaking from the point of view of my clinical experience of Classical Chinese Medicine with the normal every day person having IC and the normal kinds of emotional expressions that accompany it.
Your kind apology
As you know, I'm the one that E-mailed you.
You have no idea how nice it is to know that you and your practice is a truly safe place to be – safe to me meaning that there is open communication without the worry of paying a “price” for it. On my way home I started to fear that I may have insulted one of the best things in my life, and that you might refuse to see me anymore. I know, it sounds pathetic, which was the conversation that I had with myself. I told myself that I was no longer the little kid who was raised by a mother who told me that if I didn't behave my father would leave us and we wouldn't have the money to survive. Nor am I the same women who spent 30 years in a marriage where I let myself be controled by a man with the threat that he'd leave me whenever I wasn't "behaving" properly . (nothing like living up to the old cliche of finding a man just like dad) I am the women that put "my big girl panties" on, finally left that lousy marriage three years ago, and am searching to finally grow up and get healthy.
In truth, you hit a sore spot and a moment of weakness. I have practised and practised my mental outlook - OCD & PTSD for years - it hasn't ever completely gone away. The thing is, while I didn't want to hear it, and wanted to justify my fears, that I simply can't help myself, that I have the right because horrible and stressful things have happened to me, I really have no other choice but to keep on practising and trying.
So, I thank you for listening and making me think - even though I don't always want to.
All my best
Thank you!
Great post. I thought that "everything would be perfect" if I could "only get better." After suffering in physical pain for so long, I think my mind got stuck/obsessed with that idea. Now that I am feeling so much better physically, I realize it's not true. My life IS WONDERFUL now that I feel better but life is NEVER perfect and without challenges. My latest journey is to learn how to handle the "bad news" moments of life better than I have been. To try to not view every challenge as the beginning of a new, horrible 10 year battle for which there is no solution (which is how I came to view IC - and my life - before I met Matia). It's VERY hard for me to not think like this now. But it's not real and it's not rational. And I can prove that to myself by looking back at several incidents that have happened in my life in the last few years. They WERE crisis situations but they DID get resolved, most very quickly. So I have more work to do! And I completly agree that having this forum is wonderful and is a huge part of healing. Thank you for posting this Matia!
MR203
Thank you for those insightful words!!! They are so important to share when someone reaches the other side of their condition. It means so much to everyone to bring comfort and hope.