There are so many feelings that come up around this subject that have much more to do sensations coming from your nerve supply. Of course when there is an abundance of inflammation there will be a resistance to having sex. How could a person be interested in exciting an area that is already in so much pain? This is really hard on both partners--the one who is sick and his or her partner suffers as well.

Under normal circumstances there may be issues of embarassment or shame connected with sexuality--but when your ability to participate in "normal" sex is altered (temporarily) the challenge increases considerably. I think the thing to remember is that sexuality is not only connecting with another human being for the purpose of procreation and orgasm--it is to connect with someone you love. It is to share an intimate relationship with one special person in your life.

Penetration is a sensitive subject for most people sufferring with full blown IC until the inflammation in that area has efficiently been addressed. But, until then, finding other ways to be sensual with one another can allow both the person suffering and his or her partner to explore aspects of each other that you might otherwise have forgotten.

Touching, kissing, cuddling, and verbalizing feelings are some of the ways in which sex and sensuality may be acheived without penetration. Light some candles, take a bath together, be creative in the many ways you can explore eachother in a private way.

Oral sex is also another way of engaging in sexuality without the risk of exacerbating symptoms (in most cases) remembering to be cautious if in your particular case sexual fluids are an issue. Semen particularly may contain an abundance of micro-organisms that may be communicated to the sexual partner.

There are a couple cases where just a sexual thought that activates sensation in the genital area may create a flare. In this kind of case, sensual connection should probably be limited to light loving non-sexual contact--just enough to remind one another how much you are still in love, but not enough to insight pain.

But, remembering to live and love through the journey of regaining your health--that is important. Sexuality and sensuality can reconnect yourself with your partner, but also with yourself, as you remind yourself that you are still a sexual being.

Dr.B