30/30 #14

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SKipped a day because I was at peace last night. Did you miss me? The peace takes so much work to achieve and is so easily lost but is so beautiful. Apparently, I did not learn self-soothing strategies between 0-2. Not a surprise as my mom did not know them for herself. I can't walk or move much right now but I can become a better caretaker of myself and develop an internal voice that I trust to calm me so I don't hve to run hither and thither all the time. Highly recommended: tara brach.com; 2006 archives. 2 part download on a technique (R.A.I.N) for how to deal with fear.

Of course if you didn't know how to self-calm you would not be able to defer gratification, would self-medicate which is really self harm

WOrk for today- watch the breathe, When it tenses inside the chest, talk to it, define its shape, Explore it. Allow it in. Don't fight it. Try to create a space where it can be.

 

Mariposa's picture
Mariposa

I like this :)

DLFox123's picture
DLFox123

Dear Bonnie,
It sounds like you and I are somewhat on the same path with the anxiety -  It is mixed in with moments of clarity.  I call that voice my wise woman voice - she speaks from some deep inner truth.   The other is the child who never learned, as you say , self soothing.  For two days, due to some non-ic issues, my chest has felt like an elephant has been seated on it.  I try to lay my hands there, and heal the area - release the haviness.  I will now try to talk to it and define it's shape - this is a new concept for me -My therapist believes that within ourselves, we all have the ability to heal. I'm not sure if she meant physically - I kind of latched onto the mental concept.  Any way, my friend, thank you