30/30 # 17

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I am typing fast- Brizman style because the post in progress got deleted. Deir, thank you for your helpful post about self-acceptance and exercise.

My latest thought about healing from IC is that it is requiring me to do housecleaning in all areas of my life. I need to make amends to myself and others and realize that I am in charge of healing me. As much as my tendency with this and all other problems is to run around asking for advice, I can't continue to outsource everything. It is scary but I know that I must move forward, laying in place one little positive brick at a time.

it surprises me to find out that I have been playing the victim in my head all these years- my husband did this to me, we had to live here, I had to work so hard and IC wrecked my health.etc.

BS, those were my choices and I need to own them. In many cases, even if they were things that I thought I did not want, they have had positive outcomes.

My goal for me today is to stay positive and take charge.

PS- for those of you that are obsessed with bifido, Dr. B has reconfigured my protocol and it is heavily featured and my guts are moving nonstop.

On that happy note, love to all.

PS- I have forgiven my mom and it feels amazing. So good to feel the love bloom from my heart.

 

onward.

 

Pico's picture
Pico

Bonnie,
 
I read all your postings but have never responded because I'm pretty new to IC and recovery and realize I'm not much help  just yet on the advice end .  But your last posting on being a victim rang true for me.  Thanks for making me realize it is happening in my life and that I can and should work to change that. 
Just reading about  your feelings for your mom brought love and tears to my heart.  Maybe it is because I am the mother of two young women
Wish you strength and healing in your knees and legs.
 
Sue