Looking for support/advice

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Hi ladies,

*SIGH*.. where do I even begin?  Ok I'll give a quick intro here, developed bad IC when 6 months pregnant, had baby in June, started treatment in October.  Tried to start right away but had massive post partum anxiety and everything was aggravating it so Dr B told me to just quit all herbs until I felt more stable.  My husband and I put ourselves into debt with fertility treatments, we planned on living with family for a year until we got it paid off. I was supposed to be going back to work which would have allowed it to get paid down much quicker, but alas.. IC.  SOOOooo now we are stuck living with his parents, me with a fussy (although very cute) 9 month old who gets sick every 2 weeks which hinders my sleep, and I am SURROUDED with sugary treats.  Its all around me you guys.. not even kidding.  On the counters, in the cupboards, in the fridge, in candy dishes around my MIL's home.  It is NOT practical to ask them to hide it, or not have it in the house.  Those are my personal feelings, I'm in their home and they just love sugar and live for it.  Which leads me to my next issue....

I cant NOT cheat.  I feel like the diet is so unrealistic and hard.  Is it because I'm surrounded with forbidden foods?  Probably.  But why cant I find the inner strength so just leave it be.  The longest I've gone is a month.  Then something will happen, my baby will get sick, I'll be dead tired and hungry and just dont want to cook.. so I'll reach for something quick.  It doesnt increase my pain right away which makes it a hard motivator to not do it.. I do think it aggravates it the next day.  But in the moment I am just starving and need some kind of nourishment thats not hard boiled eggs and vegetables.  Disclaimer: I am really cranky today!!!  Anyways, the longest I've gone without cheating is a month.  But even then, I drive thru In N Out and have a cheeseburger protein style with no spread, and french fries.  NOT GOOD!  I am so tired, I dont have my own kitchen, and I need help figuring out ideas on how to make this a little easier on myself.  My MIL is cool with me using the kitchen, and we even have our own fridge. My husband has also told me he will stop eating girl scout cookies and ice cream around me lol.  

 

So being in treatment for 5 months, I've made progress with my anxiety but I still have bladder pain everyday and I just know its because I'm not 100% commited to the diet.  I want to be, but my human self takes over.  Any suggestions?  I admire all of you so much.. especially the ones who never cheat, EVER.  I wish I had that discipline. 

 

Off to take care of my baby whose running a fever AGAIN.  :( Thanks for listening to my cranky pants self

MinnieMouse's picture
MinnieMouse

Thank you so much Ally and Hannah. You girls are so sweet to respond.  Hannah I tried out the breathing technique.. It's pretty nice :) you guys both said some things that I really needed to hear.  So thank you.  It's been an especially rough week for me so I'm a lot more sensitive than usual lol.  My daughter has double ear infections and I've been up countless hours with her, so my sleep and trying to feed myself has been so hard.  I'm pretty much just starving! But I'm going to take y'all's advice on lots of things you said.  I wish I could expound a little more but I only had a couple minutes to write back. My baby is finally sleeping after crying for 2 hours straight and I've got to get some things done! Lots of love to you both :)