Tried to write this post before a week ago and I lost it before I posted it. Until last Monday, I spent  10 months in horrible anxiety without a knee diagnosis. Now I have one. cartilage is shot and I need to have both knees replaced. Pretty terrifying but at least now I know. In the intervening time, I stopped sleeping, like totally stopped  for 2 weeks and broke down and went on sleeping meds after trying 6 different ways with Dr. B to take an herbal approach. No go. So I went on klonipin for about a month and then tapered off. (Over 3 weeks). Once again, sleep went to hell and I broke down again after almost crashing my car three times. 

Nothing great to say about all of this except yes, it has made my bladder worse and given me acid reflux and depression, anxiety and the whole kit and kaboodle, boy, does it hurt to give away that body baseline of knowing that what  you are dealing with is you but here I am.

1) Lessons to be learned- my knees really were different from the standard  IC joint and muscle pain and I lost a lot of time getting into PT because of what the theory was.

2) sleep meds are hell and it is going to be challenging and expensive to get off but I got to the point where I could not function, could not look my children in the eye etc. before I got there, I tried every herbal and cognitive modality I could find. 

3) I have missed the forum a lot but have stayed away out of shame and fear of judgment. But I have decided that being honest matters to me, also. 

4) It is scary to b contemplating such a major surgery but life without mobility is pretty scary, too. 

Please wish me well, ladies. I have been through a war (much of it my own making since anxiety just makes things worse) and I would love your support understanding that no one would prefer to opt for what I ended up in.

5) the diet and herbs worked quickly and well for me.  For those of you starting out, my circumstances are pretty unusual and I don't think you need to worry about its applicability to you.

6) each thing has its next sequellae: eg, meds give you acid reflux and then psychiatrist wants you to take pepsid. They don't get it at all.

love everyone. Hope to be writing with better news soon.