Taking the Plunge

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Hi Everyone,

Well as some of you already know, I have been self-treating with herbs for the past few months to great success, BUT, I have really realized how I really need Dr. B to have complete and TOTAL healing. This is scary for me because when I first started with her in October, I had much more increased pain. It was just for a couple of days but I flipped out and quit. 

I have HUGE trust issues due to TERRIBLE medical care I have received from my hometown doctors. In fact, it is doubtful I would even have IC if it wasn't for them. (Botched hysterectomy, repair surgery, infection after that that led to IC. Not to mention earlier misdiagnosis and months on steroids, antibiotics etc. etc.) After speaking with my therapist yesterday, I also realized my trust issues go back as far as childhood.

So, I am going most likely going to be a very FRAGILE case that needs LOTS of support and guidance. In short, I am SO AFRAID of increased pain as I have finally gotten my life back to the point where I can work and even ride horses a little again. 

BUT, I am taking a TON of antimicrobial herbs which I think really need to be balanced out and Dr. B is the ONLY one who knows how to do this. 

The herbalist I was working with was a Lyme's disease expert and while I was told I most likely have Lyme's based on postive blood tests for some of the co-infections, I realized that my biggest symptom is my bladder and Matia is the bladder expert. 

Now, I am going to have to stop the massive amounts of herbs I have been taking and TRUST Dr. B completely. 

SO, please be there for me when I need it. This is one of the scariest things I have done. I have total confidence in Dr. B and she has been great with me so far. It's the fear of pain and discomfort as well THE UNKNOWN that is stopping my heart now. Also the regular fears that I might be one of the ones that takes forever to heal or does not heal, ETC. 

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!

XXXOOO

Sam

 

livandlex's picture
livandlex

We are all here! This is the best decision of your life!

pterzwife's picture
pterzwife

Sam: Your fear is perfectly understandable and it is hard as hell to walk through the fire but what choice is there? Many of us have worn ourselves out being hypervigilant and are trying hard to find a new and harmonious way of being. I really appreciate the sentiments you have expressed as I walk my own very difficult path. Know that we will be here for you.
 
love, Bonnie

Samara's picture
Samara

Thanks Bonnie and Mimi. I think it will be okay. I hope I am a fast healer but I think I may still be in this for some time. especially since I am approaching menopause and my hormones are crazy now.
SO glad you are both having better bladders. And Bonnie, I really think your knees will get straightened out. :)

blondy's picture
blondy

Samara, sometimes you HAVE to trust SOMEBODY, just one person. That takes weight off your shoulders and sets you free. 
Good luck with you treatment! I am glad you decided to join. I have very positive results with my road to recovery.

deir's picture
deir

Well said Blondy!

Samara's picture
Samara

Deir and Blondy, 
YEP. can't wait to feel the pressure lift!!!
<3<3<3

deir's picture
deir

It's a process of continuing to let go and trust- your choice, your body, Dr brizman and your ability to heal. I have to routinely work on this.

Samara's picture
Samara

I read an old post somewhere from one of Dr. B's old patients that it took a year to get up the courage to start the program but she was so glad she did. Honestly, I think I am afraid of the strict diet too. I have mainly been on list 1 and 2 but I have little things that are no no's like stevia etc. I have never in my life only water for any extended time. I guess it will all be cahllenging but I don't think I will be on list one for very long. :)

deir's picture
deir

Does coffee bother you? i LOVE it and so it is the only list 2 thing i tried before seeing Dr B. I seem fine with it and she ok'd it too I was glad I tried it before I went because I had a really rocky start and was not able to add foods for a long time because I was too unstable to be able to tell what was bugging me. So I was on list 1 (with blessed coffee) for a long time.

Samara's picture
Samara

Hi Dier,
LOVE coffee but stick to slightly watered down decaf. I seem to tolerate it fine. Yay for that!