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I thought this might help me- if you're interested join in!
Anytime you need to vent, however big or small- do it here but also remember to include something hopeful.
After all, no matter what,underneath it all- all of us must have a lot of hope and optimism otherwise why would we be doing this?
V: I am just missing an evening glass of wine right now. I am also really wishing I could get my hair professionally colored but I am too afraid. I am feeling a little unattractive.
H: I wake up with so much energy and never have even the tiniest bit of a hangover since alcohol is not a part of my life.
I am really starting to find a faith in God that I never really had before.
Welcome Junie
You've made a great choice - let us all know how it gets better - because it will
Take care,
Hey all, wading in with some
Hey all, wading in with some hope!
Had a GREAT weekend away with my partner - two nigh-on perfect bladder days, and I added in yoghurt which seemed to be fine. Had a couple of sips of coffee twice, which also seemed to be ok, though going to check that again - had perhaps slight urgency afterwards, v hard to tell. Anyway, six months ago I couldn't have imagined just having a nice normal time, doing run of the mill things - going for a walk, watching tv, enjoying the blissful weather - without the constant buzzing, irritation, burning an urgency. Things do seem to be changing, though I still feel v tentative about it.
Vent - had a TERRIBLE night's sleep last night. About three hours in total - killer insomnia; not a good way to end the lovely weekend. Seem to have quite a lot of anxiety, and get kind of jolts of adrenaline when I'm dropping off that keep me awake! Horrid. Feel like it's worse after we up the bif; hoping it'll calm soon. As a result, bladder been slightly nigglier today. Does anyone else have the insomnia?!
Sarah- I am desperate to get
Sarah- I am desperate to get away with my husband (and the baby of course- but I 'd like to leave my big boys behind!) That just sounds blissful. Hoep the insomnia ends.
wonderful post
Hey Nadia, what a great post :)
Came on to have mini-vent as am having a less-good day after a run of good ones - not awful, just feel like someone is shining a light on the area - just aware of it constantly. Hard not to feel impatient when I've felt 'better' for a few days. But your post has reminded me (again!) to let go of timelines and just relax into the journey. Thanks!!
Nadia- you have helped me
Nadia- you have helped me many times. i go back and read your emails when i need to reign in my panic. I call you my angel!
I do need to express something though, and I hope I don't come off sounding defensive. I am seeing a therapist and reading all kinds of self-help stuff to cope with this incredibly upsetting illness. I started going to Adult Child of Alcoholic meetings which are similiar to Al- anon - a typical 12 step program. I need these things now because I am sick and i need every resource I can to help cope. I do find them very helpful. I am going to start a watercolor class- because I can not dance, do yoga or even exercise much- these things were my creative outlets. I am listening every day to a guided visualization about healing (when I can with 3 kids). I am always working hard to look within to develop the ability to weather this dark dark storm. Most days I am so stable mentally. I am proud of myself.
I do not feel however that my emotions played a part in bringing on this disease. I was a happy fairly successful person before this. I never had self esteem issues of note nor anxiety or depression. My biggest issue was PMS and accompanying rage liek clockwork but I had found many coping strategies to deal with the few days a month. I always have felt that this is due to my gut/hormonal imbalance. Dr Brizman agrees with me thankfully after at least 4 people insinuated or flat out said that my Ic was caused from repressed anger because of my alcoholic dad! Jeez. I knew it was my fault!! LOL
I almost feel even more pressure that in order to conquer IC I need to become Zen master.
I absolutely believe in mind body connections but I don't know what else I could be doing to get better. I hope and pray that my instability with this treatment is normal and not caused or exacerbated by my inability to look within enough or something because I am trying , I really am.
I don't think I will never look at this as a gift, only as a part of who I am.
Anyway- I think Nadia's words are beautiful as usual but for some reason, I feel sad today and worn out.
xoxo to all my suffering sisters.
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