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Ok so I have been in treatment for over a year now. I started seeing progress very quickly into treatment when I was on the diet and then I started taking the herbs and noticed a lot more set backs. I am a " all or nothing" type person. I am like that with school, climbing, running, work and also my health. I have always been really hard on myself and when I don't perform exactly how I want to I get mad at myself and push myself harder until I do. This type of mind set has worked for gaining success for all of my goals except for getting my body back into balance and being healthy. When I don't follow the protocol just perfectly and when I have unexpected set backs I get frustrated and feel like a failure. I get really down on myself and think " why cant you just do this diet perfectly? and why is everything not going according to the plan?" I guess I have always just put my mind to something....... made it happen.... saw results quickly...... and I want it to be that way with IC.... but I am realizing it is not going to happen that way. I have read people post so many times " It took years to get the body out of balance so it is going to take time to re balance it". I read that and think " They are so right, give it time, take it day by day". All we can really do is live life day by day. With my type A personality I planned life out so far ahead of me and when IC got in the way of my plan I thought " this was not supposed to happen! This is not apart of the plan!!" I planned to graduate from high school, then college with a nursing degree then climb all over the world and then travel nurse. :) I got derailed by this disease and it got me down but this year I am getting back on track. I am going to make travel nursing and traveling the world to climb come true......Starting by looking at IC as a part of my life and accepting it instead of running away from it. I feel sometimes like it is so unfair, and think "why me?". But not anymore. Life is not always fair and to be completely honest if I would have not gotten this disease I would not have realized all the harsh chemicals, and hormones that I put into my body. I know it is only a two year difference but the way I look life now at 24 years old compared to when I was 22 years and newly diagnosed is night and day. Life...it is not to be taken for granted. I have learned so much from Matia about health and I can't wait to someday have a family and raise my children in a healthy environment. I love teaching my friends, and family about foods, and I have become a pretty good cook...well a better cook than my daily PB and J I used to eat. haha. In 2011 I gained so much knowledge and didn't apply it as much as I would have liked to. But 2012 is going to be the year for being optimistic, not getting down on myself, and taking control of the disease instead of it let it taking control over me!!
In the 4th grade we had to chose a poem to memorize and recite in front of the class at school. I chose a poem out of a book at my grandmothers house by an author named Edgar A. Guest called "Life is a gift". This poem has stuck in my head and has never left..sometimes I catch myself reciting it when I am driving or running. It helps me and I hope it helps you guys too. This year is going to be amazing for all of us and I hope we all move forward. Happy new year my IC family!!!
Life is a gift to be used every day,
Not to be smothered and hidden away;
It isn't a thing to be stored in the chest
Where you gather your keepsakes and treasure your best;
It isn't a joy to be sipped now and then
And promptly put back in a dark place again.
Life is a gift that the humblest may boast of
And one that the humblest may well make the most of.
Get out and live it each hour of the day,
Wear it and use it as much as you may;
Don't keep it in niches and corners and grooves,
You'll find that in service its beauty improves.
Happy New Year!
What a nice post, Portia! I am always amazed by how IC opens up a new way to look at the world for all of us, and it has clearly done that for you! Your outlook sounds really positive and hopeful, which I think is one of the biggest pieces of healing.
When I was 21, IC came into my life in a big way and really derailed me. It was my senior year of college, and while everyone else was planning their lives, I was trying to just survive each day and night. I think being so young with IC is particularly difficult because most people in their early twenties take their health for granted and have a hard time understanding what you're going through. And as you said, you have so many plans that you think will fall into place if you just do the right things, but then you learn that life has its own agenda. I wish I had found Matia 12 years ago rather than fumbling around on my own through IC's ups and downs! Luckily, my IC was very much under control for about 9 years, but it would have been great to have such a knowledgable guide help me stay on the right course.
It really sounds like your experience has lead you to a really thoughtful and compassionate place for yourself. I hope that you continue to have lots of progress in the year ahead!
Claire
This poem is great!
Thank you for posting, I will print this poem out and keep as part of my daily readings before I start my day. What I great gift! I cant imagine having IC at such a young age. At 21, I recall graduating and looking forward to the rest of my life. Now, at 39, If I could take it back and have taking better care of myself by eating better. Live and Learn. You have your whole life ahead of you, once you get through this, you will be able to get through anything!
As far as the Type A personality goes, I'm right there with you (so am I). I'm wondering... if Type A personalities could possibly be more prone to IC? Curious minds...