Had a moment of clarity, sitting a home today with a head cold. My knees hurt as they have for the last long while and i am pretty disabled even though I have been going to acu for 6 weeks 3x a week. Dr. B tells me taht they will get better and I need to trust that she is right and if she isn't, I will make that work also. The clarity was, right now, I can't stand for very long or walk more than a block or two or the knees swell up. I have injured and reinjured myself since Sep when this started and I keep learning teh hard lesson over again, that I need to sit and try to get the inflammation down, even as I struggle with weight gain during the most sedentary part of my entire life.

Actually, the clarity was: I keep thinking there is something I should be doing about this when really, all I can do is follow Dr. B's instructions and not make it worse. Noone else knows what to do. I need to stop unconsciously thinking that there is something I can do to make this go faster or figure out when it is going away.

I find some peace in this mementary surrender.

Happy Valentine's Day.