PMS

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Does anyone else have it? I am talking mood issues. The past 2 months my pd has been later -I am on day 33 and still don't have it. I have such bad PMS. I am crying and crying today and no matter how I try to explain to my husband- he does not get it. We just had a big argument and I feel terrible because it was my fault for being nuts but I am frustrated with him too (probably unfair).

The pms was defintiely better on the months when I got my period on day 28. My bladder/IC had  been improving and now I am on day 4 of bad again and that is a bummer and totally making this depressing PMS worse. He just left with my 2 older boys for a little fun trip and i just feel like I will never be normal again and I will never go anywhere fun again. Even as I type this I know I am under the influence of my hormones but it doesn't matter. I live in fear of the days before my period because I feel like a crazy person and all the spiritual and emotional gains I have been making feel gone.

I feel so guilty that I am making his life just plain suck by being sick for so damn long. I know this is useless despair but I have to get it out and I knew you all would "listen"

I am so glad I don't feel this sad all the time- it is rare these days and I guess I just wish he's be a little more patient when I do but I realize too that I am pretty hard to deal with.

Claire's picture
Claire

I finally got my period this month on day 34 and was having serious pms.  I was praying for my period to come!  It was my birthday and I was snappy with my family and grouchy, tired, teary, sore left boob, sure I am fat and clumsy, etc.  It's not pleasant. 
I know what you mean about "spriitual progress" it's like all the stuff I practice and have learned is good and useful until I am put to a real test of days on end of feeling rough or a mentality of grouchiness that I can't shake.  It's definitely hard on the partners, but you (and I) are getting better and this is a temporary situation.  I'm sure at some point he's going to need your kindness and patience and you'll be able to both remember when the shoe was on the other foot.  Hang in there, maybe your period will show up tomorrow!

Hopeful's picture
Hopeful

Deir, I have struggling with all the horrid symptoms of PMS that you are describing. It felt like I completely was about to lose it. It just feels terrible. Not only did I have the extreme emotional issues, to the point of thinking suicidal thoughts almost every time before my period would finally start; I had awful painful cramping and back pain, and of course the IC got worse.
But through treatment this is one thing that did get so much better. It started sneaking up on me! I'd start my period and think, what? Where was all the awful emotional stuff the week before? And absolutely no cramping or back pain. That hasn't come back with my periods at all. Sometimes I still feel emotional, but never never like I did before. So hang in there. About nine months into treatment I saw a huge difference.... BUT like Matia always says its different for all of us. Your not alone or crazy! And yes, our poor husbands, but poor you too. I think if men had just a glimpse of what PMS really felt like, it would be easier for them to understand. I do feel sorry for them, but they sorta need to do as much as they can during that time for you. The best thing I think, is to be very open to them with how your feeling. Telling them you know they can't fix it, but they can just listen and be there for you!
 
 

deir's picture
deir

That is great news, hopeful!! I think itis normal to feel a little emotional- infact I think it is proabaly a self protective type thing that we should embrace as women but man- the extremity of it right now is ridiculous!! I am even aware of it. Like I was looking in the mirror as Iam putting on my size 2!! pants and thinking I looked fat. I actually said out loud- "that is not a rational thought"
 
I really do expect my husband to be superman and even more. Sigh.....
 
Thanks for the encouragement!!

porkchop87's picture
porkchop87

There is a part of me that feels like this subject is the worst part of IC. Before I had IC I was pretty rationale, happy, almost all of the time. I was 22 and had been dating a guy for about 9 months when I first got the symptoms of IC. He stuck by my side and was supportive for the past few years. He never gave up on me and helped me through my ups and downs. No matter how upset and depressed I got he always told me he was never upset with me because he knew it had nothing to do with him and that he just wanted me to be better and be happy. After so much time went by and I was not trying hard enough with treatment and I was not making progress I started to feel guilty. Mainly I felt guilty because I was hurting him by him having to watch me be sick and feel bad for me. It was hard to know that I was not only sad but making him feel sad because he hated watching me in pain. I felt horrible for dragging him through it and decided that I should just relieve him of it. I broke up with him, after three years. I knew most of it was my disease and how depressed I was but I also felt so crazy I started to question everything.  I got nervous that I was 24 years old and that he might be the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with and I wanted to be better on my own to feel stable and rationale to make that decision. I didn't want to make it when I was sick and crazy.  I just wanted it to feel exactly right but nothing feels right when your sick. I broke up with him...four months went by....and I did work on my health like crazy...then I tried to get him back and he said I hurt him too much and that if I could be ok with the idea of breaking up with knowing that I might lose him forever than he cant get back together with me. Sometimes it is hard for me to look at this disease as a blessing when I don't feel like I would have made that decision if I was well....but I just keep telling myself ...everything happens for a reason...and then I move on. What else is there to do?

deir's picture
deir

Portia- It just occured to me that I had never esponded to this heartfelt post. I am so sorry that you have gone through this. I wish I could give you a big ((((HUG)))) You're right- nothing feels right when you're sick.
 

MelBell's picture
MelBell

I feel for you portia. I have the same emotional swings, and they can get really bad. In fact, last week my boyfriend went to work, and while he was gone I packed all his stuff up. I was gonna tell him to leave. Right before he got home I unpacked most of it and put it back up, LOL. When he saw all his stuff everywhere I just told him "don't ask". I have tried to kick him out so many times, but thank God he realizes I am only being emotional. I think he realizes that these are just emotional swings, and not evidence of how I really feel. He has stuck by my side more than I imagine anyone would. I think my last relationship ended because my emotional PMS swings were so bad, and I treated my BF really bad during that time. I didn't realize what was causing the problem at the time. I am sad for what I did and that I lost him. However, I would have never met my new BF if it hadn't been for that. So even in our worst circumstances, good can come out.