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I am having a bad day. I woke up and I knew as soon as I went to the bathroom that it was not going to be great. Pain in thebladder and vagina. Level 5-6 Overall, I have been doing a lot better. I spent most of the day in bed with a heating pad. My poor family, especially my 13 yo son does not understand. I feel terrible about it all.
He does not understand the suffering I go through because I do not appear tp be sick . I try to explain it too him but it's hard to comprehend.
Today I feel like a bad mother. I know that my illness has effected my son's life. I hope I can make it up to him in the future.
I'm sure there are others there that may have the same issue.
How do you cope?
These down days really get at me emotionally.
Hi Samara,
Hi Samara,
I wanted to share my experience because I hope it will help you. My father has Parkinsons and he has for my entire life. When I was younger I was completely oblivoius and apathetic to his illness. I simply wanted what I wanted when I wanted it, and the fact that he couldn't move as quickly to get it for me really frustrated me. I didn't empathize... but that's just because I didn't understand. At no point did I think he was a bad father... I just didn't get it.
NOW is a completely different story. Now that I am more aware I can honestly tell you there is not a single person in my life that inspires me more than my father. The things he was unable to give me because of his disease were superficial at best. His illness didn't keep him from loving me or advising and counselling me, or supporting me.
Not only that, but the way he has dealt with his disease so gracefully has taught me one of the most valuable lessons I have learned in my life. I aspire to bear my own illness with as much grace and calm as he does on a daily basis.
You may be ill, and you may not be able to do exactly what he wants you to right now, and he may not understand that. But what's really important, you are still able to give. If you can give him your love and your grace, then you have nothing to be ashamed of. Everything else is out of your hands. The guilt you feel is your own. You have no reason to feel guilty or ashamed. You didn't do anything to be sick.
Be kind to yourself. It's good for your son to witness difficulty, and getting through difficulty. That way, when he faces it himself, he will know how to bear it. Give him an example of how to bear illness, he may prefer a playstation 2, but in the longrun, this is a much more valuable lesson for him to learn, and one that a family member or someone close to him can teach him best.
Love and healing energy,
Hannah
Hannah- thaak you for that.
Hannah- thaak you for that. Beautiful.
Hannah, your post has brought
Hannah, your post has brought me tears. I often feel the way Sam does, and I try to tell myself I am still a good mom, but you have articulated it so well.
The trick is to continue to remember this. I will return to this post whenever I forget.
Thank you!
If we don't excel at health, the only other option is disease.
Hannah - Thank you - you've
Hannah - Thank you - you've touched my heart
I am beyond words Hannah.
I am beyond words Hannah. Thank you so much for sharing that. I am also in tears right now. You are right. That's a great way to see it all. Thanks again.
xxxooo
Sam
Hannah,
Hannah,
What a beautiful post. I am also crying. I think you couldn't have given Samara a more inspiring and inspired answer.
My boyfriend's father has quite advanced Parkinson's and it is painful to see how difficult a disease it is. I didn't know him when he was less affected by the Parkinson's but it's so clear that there is such a wonderful, kind, and generous soul trapped inside a body that no longer obey's him.
Thanks for such a heartfelt message to us all.
Claire