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I can't even tell you what a rough week I've had. Maybe it's the new protocol change but everything in me is just drained, tired and empty. I can see why people go the western route.. Sometimes the symptoms are just so unbearable that in order to have any quality of life you need medicine. That's how I'm feeling. I've been walking around all week on the verge of panic attacks and can't sleep because my bladder keeps me up. I'm sorry but I need to air this out and maybe catch a word of hope or encouragement, because at this point I am just done.
a couple weeks ago I had my phone appt, she wanted to add in a second dose of digestalac and add in cod liver oil. I was waiting until my husband got back from a camping trip to start it incase I had any bad reactions. I got strep throat before I was even able to start it so I was off everything for a week. Then I started it all back up, new changes and all.. The day I got my period. It's been a week and I'm in hell. It's more emotional than anything. I feel like I can't smile or laugh at anything. Like I'm severely depressed. I always struggle a little with anxiety but it hasn't been this bad since right after I had my daughter 10 months ago.
Its frustrating because I KNOW it's my hormones. I feel all of my ovarian cysts back and my bad insomnia started the night before my period started. It's so hard to believe that herbs can rebalance my severely imbalanced hormones. And they are only getting worse (the cysts) since starting my treatment in October.
I don't know what I'm trying to say..... I'm just sad. I want to quit. I feel like nothing can help me. Just throw the antidepressants and hormone pills down my throat and maybe ill have a chance at a decent life.
Thats all. Sorry to be such a downer. :(
Hi Minnie,
Hi Minnie,
Have you considered going back to your former protocol until you recover? Have you been able to keep up with your regular diet at all while sick? I know this sounds weird, but red meat really seemed to help calm my anxiety - I had it twice a day.
You're obviously busy with a baby, but can you find time to put your feet up with a hot water bottle?
I'm rooting you don't quit - you've come far since October. I think the anti-depressants and hormone pills will make things worse. Hopefully someone more experienced will reply.
Sue
((((HUG)))))
((((HUG)))))
I'll tellyou what helps me and maybe it will help you. I truly try take each day as it is. I accept that I feel scared, hopeless, you name it.
As far as hormones- before I had IC-before I had my kiddos- I went through 2 plus years of infertility. I did all the IF treatment up to but not including IVF. I thought I would never have a baby. it wasn't until I was off the drugs and treating myself with herbs that my hormones balanced out and i was able to easily have 3 children. of course, I ended up here so I wasn't TOTALLY balanced obviously! But my point is that I was able to treat my own IF issues with simple herbs. Imagine how much better Dr B is at doing the same thing! The problem is that she is treating the IC similtaneously so it is more complicated and probably requires tons more patience.
This is really really tough. I hear your despair today and all I can say is I am rooting for your courage and strength. I believe you will feel better soon. Of course soon is a relative term when you have IC. . It becomes overwhelming when you think "I will ALWAYS feel like this" More mangeable for me is to say "Today is hard " Accept it and then try to make the most of my day.
10 months isn't long enough
10 months isn't long enough to get an appreciable difference! I would would judge at 3 years. you've probably had ghastly habits your whole life--(lord knows i did), so your bod needs a chance to recalibrate. while some people get better super quick, i actually think its better to take a longer time. this way you learn these great great great habits! its really a blessing--that seems shitty at first. you will be giving your daughter such a good thing--the gift of nutrition.
also, i'd like to second deir's advice.
Hi Minnie,
Hi Minnie,
Its a very difficult thing to have IC let alone be a parent to a little one. I completely understand where you are and feeling depressed & anxious. I vividly recall being SO anxious that just driving and hearing the police siren would freak me out. I never had that issue before but it felt like I was paranoid. But that has gone away. and I know it will subside for you too.
Please dont give up, you will get better. I know because I believe you too will like I have started to. You have a wonderful support group here. I too have endo cysts and it sucks. But I can tell you that being on the protocol has improved the pain of them. Think of it as baby steps. Like your little one is going through. Try as hard as you can to enjoy those moments with your little one. I know its hard but those dark moments will get better. I didnt believe in that until months later in the protocol.
Adriane
Minnie, please don't give up!
Minnie, please don't give up! I was totally feeling hopeless and more depressed and anxious then I ever felt during treatment three weeks ago! Also, during my period and just about at my 2 year anniversary of treatment! It feels like this will never change at times, I totally get it, we all get it! I am stilling have an awful time with my ovarian cysts as well, but I know my body is getting stronger in other ways! Our bodies are so out of balance and am coming to terms that this is going to take a lot longer than I had ever imagined, but Western meds are only going to help mask the symptoms for so long before you find yourself desperate for something else to ease the pain and anxiety! You are on your way to health! You can do this, I know you can! Let Dr. B know so she can adjust things a bit! Tomorrow is a new day, keep up the good fight! Hugs!
Hi Minnie,
Hi Minnie,
things do get better. However, after doing this for SO long, I know how you feel. There were times when I did give in and try anti-depressents and even some sleeping meds. Most of it with a warning from Dr. Matia that I would probably regret it. Guess what? She was correct. My upper pantry is packed with all sorts of western meds with horrible side effects. A part of me hasn't dumped them thinking that some day I just may need them. Why I even think that they will miraculousy work after such a dismal failure, is hard for me to comprehend. I even got a medical marijuanna license - it absolutely killed my bladder. I so wanted and needed a quicker fix. The truth is, I probably wouldn't be here if there was an easier option. I would have given in and settled for living a medicated existence. This hard road that I've been forced to take has made me grow up kicking and screaming and swearing with tremendous anger and fear. Wherever all of this is dragging me is anyones guess. Here's the thing, I've finally reached the point where I'm grateful that the other options weren't available to me. At least, that's how I feel today, or rather, in this moment.
Denise: Thank you for your
Denise: Thank you for your post. It is always good to hear what works and what didn't work. Hope your week is going well. XXO. Bonnie
Thanks for your kind words
Thanks for your kind words everyone. I'm feeling a little better today as far as mentally. I want to kick this disease in the butt. I really do. But man this is hard. As I'm sitting here with a burning bladder I'm reminded how much my body needs a chance to heal. It deserves it. Back in the fight.... Sorry for my pathetic rant. I know you guys understand :)