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Hi- My husband is very very healthy but likes to drink a beer a few times a week. I know things can be passed between couples but Dr B doesn't think it is an issue snce there is no ejaculation. We don't use condoms for the few times we have sex. ( I HATE THIS ILLNESS) Anyone have an opinion if kissing or just being around him could be an issue? He doesn't drink the beer until I am asleep or out.
For the record- I am officially so over this and just grasping at straws. Meanwhile my husband is not too happy with me because I am now blaming the beer. :(
Hmm. I hear you. I have a
Hmm. I hear you. I have a wine-loving, blue cheese scarfing husband with fungal toes.
I don't think the time of day that he drinks it would be an issue. More a matter of he is imbalanced or not. Kind of like being a little be pregnant :)
I asked Dr. B about oral sex. She said I can perform for him if I don't swallow (sorry if too much info, but it is to illustrate a point). She did not seem concerned about a little fluid exposure because the body can handle a little. Whereas a lot might be too much, if that makes sense. So a little kissing should be fine.
Thinking about this is reminding me that I am NOT enjoying smelling wine on my husbands breath since i dont drink. Odd how that evolved.
If we don't excel at health, the only other option is disease.
Deir, didn't I read that you
Deir, didn't I read that you had a few good days in the past two weeks? Even if not consistent, Dr. B told me that is a great sign!
If we don't excel at health, the only other option is disease.
Hey Deir!
Hey Deir!
This is so confusing for me too! I think I'm the one who told you at my first appt. she told me my husband should stop drinking beer asap, which I don't know if that was for me or just for his health - lol!
So he actually stopped for me - the poor thing was drinking a margarita at the Phillies game this week :(
Then I asked Dr. B about his aftershave...because when we kissed I could taste it...she said then that was not good. So he stopped using aftershave, which he complains about still...heeee. Just like you, doing this to cover all bases but not sure if it helps or not.
But I did have a strange revelation yesterday. I was at a kiddie party and Olivia went to eat her gluten free cake, which I cut and handed to her and got icing on my fingers...which I wiped off a few seconds later. Well within 30 miutes or so wham! Major bladder flare urgency, pressure. I was floored! Because it came out of no where. I normally would have brushed it off, but I kinda suspected something because the other week I got my husband a Mike's Hard Lemonade at the Phillies game and of course someone bumped me and it spilled all over my hand. And same thing within 45 mins or so wham flare.
It seems so weird but after reading Dr. B's recent article about the "little things" and then some where on here she says touching a banana could cause a flare...it's so crazy!!! Maybe we should live in a bubble!
Sorry this was not helpful...and maybe my body can't handle any thing because I'm not that far into treatment...
Hugggssss! Need to plan a playdate...after Memorial Day Olivia will be out of school...so my schedule will open up more :)
Thanks ladies!!!
Thanks ladies!!!
This is helpful.
Claire- Can't wait to get together again!
also wanted to add-
also wanted to add-
claire that is crazy about the cake and lemonade but really I am not surprised. I had a terrible flare from touching a natren healthy trinity probiotic in oil. For me, I think the cleansing nature of the treatment has made me more sensitive but hopefully, this is all for good in pursuit of real health.
Mimi- unfortunately, I have always had good days and bad days- that is the scary part for me. I appreciate havign good days for sure but that isn't anything new. I'm still looking for the promised increase in good days. I thought I was turning a corner recently. maybe? keep your fingers crossed for me
Mimi- what did she say about oral sex for you f? Sorry girls- tmi but you're used to it.
Ooh. sorry, I think that is
Ooh. sorry, I think that is not a good idea as it is a lot of fluid exchange from his saliva, IMO. Later tho!
If we don't excel at health, the only other option is disease.
But maybe ask Dr. B on your
But maybe ask Dr. B on your next call? I am not a huge fan of it anyway. Hubby just can't quite get the hang of it LOL So we do other things. I don't miss that particular aspect anyway...Just me...
If we don't excel at health, the only other option is disease.
I feel lightly drunk after
I feel lightly drunk after spending a night at a bar where everyone around me drinks. I feel light hangover morning after. I think even enhailing beer for prolonged time will cause some of us to react. At the same time, I don't know how much your husband drinks. A few beer sometimes probably would not hurt you if you stayed away on those days. I am not sure...
The other day my partner
The other day my partner drank some wine and then his breath smelled so repulsive to me (like yeast) that I could barely tolerate being near him. I felt like kissing him would be a bad idea.
And blondy, I agree about the feeling drunk when not drinking experience. I was with friends the other night and felt like I was stumbling out of the restaurant (they had all been drinking beer). I thought it was just me being silly, but your theory makes some sense.
As for the effects of a parter's food/drink, I have a friend who does not have IC but feels bad/yeasty after having sex with a partner who has been drinking. There is definitely something to it. I know it's not fun, but I definitely don't have lingering bladder issues as much if we use condoms. Partner has lyme, so it's kind of a non-negotiable for me.
Ceb- do you use a condom even
Ceb- do you use a condom even if he's not not ejaculating? Seriously, I have given up so much in my life but for some reason this condom thing is like the straw that broke the camel's back. It just puts me over somehow.
just wanted to add- I am
just wanted to add- I am sorry to those of you who can't have sex at all. My comment might sound so insensitive. We rarely do because it makes me worse andthis is extremely upsetting to me but at least I can every now and then. I hope I disn't make anyone upset. I am in a very negative spiral this weekend. I guess I could use the stupid condoms if I have to but it is just one more impediment to normal life right now and I know my husband hates them too so it just makes me feel even more guilty about the impact of this darn illness on our lives.
We have been using lambskin
We have been using lambskin condoms for so many years we don't even think about it anymore. No intercours for us yet....hopefully soon....At least I can say I never took chemical birth control (no offense intended for anyone who did!) I just have to have at least one good check mark towards my good health goals!!!!
If we don't excel at health, the only other option is disease.
HI Mimi- but don't the
HI Mimi- but don't the lambskins condoms allow some fuid to passy through? I know they are effective against pregnancy but I know they don't prevent std's so in this case would it be any better than withdrawal? Have you asked Dr B? I have an appointment on Thursday so I can aslk if we have time.
I am glad you were never on chemical birth control.
Hi Deir,
Hi Deir,
Yes, we usually use condoms, and I think it has made a big difference. I still have some residual symptoms with condom use but I notice they last for a shorter period than if I skip the condom.
About 6 months into treatment, I had the worst flare I've ever had 24 hours after having sex with no condom (and no ejaculation). It was horrendous. Dr. B thought it was probably due to his microbes (which are worse than the average microbes I believe). Anyway, I became quite religious about condom use after that. Well, after a six-month hiatus from sex because I was so terrified of flaring like that again.
I recently became bold and tried sex without the condom, while it's great during, I definitely noticed that after I was more bothered by the sex for several days rather than my usual several hours. I'd be happy to share my tips about making condoms as tolerable as possible if you'd like to email me, it may be TMI and I don't want to bother anyone here.
Good luck!
Claire
Ok- I guess I need to give
Ok- I guess I need to give this a try. I don't know why with everything else this just seems unbearable today. Thursday is my 15 th wedding anniversary- the 3rd with IC. My husband and I have been together for 23 years. It is also the 2 year anniversary of going to see Dr Brizman so I am having a tough week. :(
I guess he needs to stop drinking beer. IC has taken all the pleasure from our lives.
I am sorry for my negativity!
I am sorry for my negativity! For those of you just starting out- most days i am strong and grateful. I don't want to give the impression that I am miserable all the time.
Last night I went to an al-anon meeting and the topic was "Self Pity" The speaker talked about staying in ONLY TODAY as a remedy for that. For sure, we need to be allowed to grieve our losses but know I get into emotional trouble when I focus on what I "was" or what I fear I "will be" Much better when I just focus on one set of 24 hours. Ironically, I wasn't even feeling bad bladder wise yesterday
This is tough but we are the lucky ones who are seeking true longterm health. trying to focus on that.
Deir,
Deir,
We all get in that space, but this is what this forum is about - each of us absorbing each others struggles and trying to channel loving thoughts and prayers to back. This is a safe place to do it. Personally I didn't comment because I didn't want you to think I thought i had the all the answers - sometimes we just need to vent. But I have been thinking of you and glad to hear from you today.
Sue
Hey Deirdre,
Hey Deirdre,
I struggle with the same issue of thinking about the past and future. I have a counselor/mentor that has been telling me I need to "be present". I am slowly changing to be more present and it feels good.
You are doing a great job. We all are. This is hard, but so worth all the hard work.
Lisa