Even though I have to admit that today is not my best bladder day because of a cold that hit me 2 days ago I just experienced a moment of gratitude when I went into my garden to pick a fresh head of lettuce. I would like to share my thoughts with you because it gives me a lot of hope to read about other people´s little success stories. 

My IC started in January 2013 and the pain was so bad that I thought I´d have to die. I was in hospital for 2 months were I experienced  flare ups on a regular basis and they would last 1 to sometimes 14 days. The doctors gave me benzos and painkillers which helped in the beginning but later on they didn´t really make a difference anymore, so I´m glad I refused to take them. I suffered from horrible bladder burning. I litterally walked around with a hot water bottle 24 h. I felt the worst urge to pee, it was driving me insane. It was even much worse after bm.  I would scream and cry and beg the nurses to help me but they didn´t know how. I had crazy muscle spasms in my clitoris, pelvic, urethra and butt area.  I also experienced kidney colics after they went to my kidneys with a camera. This procedure really made me worse. I´m so glad I didn´t accept a cystoscopy. I was extremely anxious, wasn´t able to eat at times. I lost about 17 pounds. I always thought about the best way to kill myself. I smoked many many cigarettes and ate chocolate instead of real food.

After I got out of hospital with the diagnosis of mental issues because of my messed up relationship to my boyfriend, I googled my symptoms and figured that my biggest nightmare came true. I have IC. Now I was even more suicidal. My boyfriend and most of my other friends were scared of me and stayed away. I moved back to my parents house. I started Matia´s diet. My painlevels went up and I feared that there was nothing that could help me until I stopped all grains. From then on I got better.

I booked a plane ticket to L.A. even though everybody was against it. Before my flight I went to see an urologist specialized in IC. She never healed anybody in over 20 years of her career but she was known as the best doctor for IC. She told me I should not go to L.A. I should treat with her, since she recently noticed the connection between the gut and IC. Wow! My stool test results showed similarities to the ones of her other IC patients. At least now my parents would believe me that my issues are not purely mental.

The moment I started Matia´s protocol my horrible bladder burning stopped and didn´t come back yet. I occassionally (like today) feel some irritation and slight urgency, but it has not gotten as bad as it used to be. The majority of the last weeks I felt really good and hopeful. I don´t wake up to a daily nightmare anymore. I haven´t had any panic attacks since I was in L.A. My depression is gone. I don´t get involved into crazy fights with my dad anymore and I have the feeling of being in control of my life again. I bought myself a car, I made business cards for my massage business and distributed them in my area. And now I already have some generous clients.

I just rent an apartment in Berlin, which is only 1 and a half hours away from my little home town. I want to spend half the week there, working with massage, hanging out with my friends, working at a roof top bar during summer and maybe go dancing, if I feel good. The rest of the week I spend enjoying the calmness and beauty of the countryside. Before IC I would only dream about all this but never really do something as I was just to lazy to start. IC was kind of a kick into my butt which made me realize how important it is to take responsibility for my life.

Sometimes I may feel down and worried if I will ever heal up completely. But then I read success stories or contact other/former patients who help me deal with those fears. Often I lament over having to keep the diet, which is really difficult when I´m on the road or hanging out with friends. But I always try to remember how good it is for me to eat this way and how good I will feel in one year. I´m already experiencing much more mental clarity and pain relief. It can only get better.