Oh, I know exactly what you are going through!!! Shortly after I started with Matia, I had an enourmous emotional breakdown, was totally incapacitated and basically spent s couple of months in bed, had to quit my job, lost a few people I was friends with at the time, etc. My Mom, who came to take care of me didn't exactly understand how important my diet was, still was trying to sneak some "secret" ingredients into my diet.  That also drove me crazy! I was so emotionally and physically overwelmed that I developed this weired nausea that couldn't be resolved with anything. Now I undersatnd that this was a manifestation of the emotional hardship and stress that IC brought into my life.I know you have a hard time believing me now, but this is GOING TO PASS!!!! Yes, you are very young to have this crazy condition, but once you get better (AND YOU WILL!), think how balanced and healthy the rest of your long life is going to be. I was 32 when I got sick, I almost wish I was younger at the time, so that I wouldn't spend so many years wracking a havoc on my own body.HANG IN THERE, YOU ARE GOING TO BE OK!

I felt EXACTLY the way you are feeling several times during my journey back to good health! Even tho I had support from my family, they really didn't help me find the answers. I researched EVERY doctor and made EVERYappointment by myself. They didn't tell me not to do anything but theydidn't have any suggestions either. What it comes down to is this: you don'thave any other option BUT TO KEEP FIGHTING and get better. You wouldn'tbe were you are right now if you weren't a fierce fighter. Anyone that makes it to Matia has courage and strength beyond what words can describe. And hereyou are. So there will be horrible days. But there will be good days to. You have to live for the good days. When you don't want to live during the bad days, you just have to struggle thru until you get a good day. You can't give  up. You won't give up - you've come too far and you know it. We are here for you. If I got better, you will too!! I know it!! There may be some things you can do to make things easier on yourself (make sure you are telling Matia about everything that you are doing/using/eating). But this may just be a time when nothing will make things better but patience and sticking to Matia's plan. But you won't feel this way forever. You won't...keep telling yourself this and keep on working hard to make it happen!

Aww, just wish I could give you a great big ole hug.  Wow.  I was too sick to work, I used to sometimes squat in a heap after five minutes of walking in the grocery store from the genital/bladder pain, but at least I had family members who were willing to come and help.  They didn't totally get it, and at times said some really careless things, but at least they pitched in when things were really bad.  That's got to be really tough, having to work and no one to help.  Are you eligible for disability, at least until things improve?  I know that can be a lengthy process though.As far as feeling like a hypochondriac--yes, I can so relate!  I had so many weird symptoms, sometimes well into treatment, and I would plug them in online and try to make sure I didn't have something else going on, which can be one of the worst things you can do if you're already a basket case, lol!!  It was hard to wait for things to calm down and not panic, esp since die off by itself can trigger a lot of tormentive anxiety that can mess with your mind.  Just getting the assurance from Matia and other patients that what I was experiencing was normal usually calmed my fears; at other times I just had to push through the anxiety.  It was amazing to me how calm and peaceful I became once my body would calm after a cleanse, etc.  I was like a totally different person.hang in there