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I am in a hotel in Ithaca 4 hrs from my home. Ithought this was going to be a lovely little trip with myhusband. I have generally ben more stable the past few weeks so I thought I might be a little worse but I could handle it. Well, yesterdsya and last night, i flared HORRIBLY and this morning is already bad. I missed the rehearsal dinner last night and I am so worried I will be too sick to go the wedding tonight.Ijust got in a huge argument with my husband who is trying his best but I am so angry and fearful and I just can't believe this is happening like this so I think I am so cruel and hopeless to him. I am so afraid that I will never be able to go on any trips much less work, etc! If stress even over good things makes me this bad it makes me feel like I will never get well. We didn't make big plans for today on purpose (the wedding is at 5) but I thought I'd at least take a little walk in the town and go out to lunch. Now, he is downstairs inthehotel eating breakfast alone and I am here eating microwaved eggs. Any words of wisdom? I need to somehow get to my place of Acceptance and Gratitude which has worked in teh past when I am really freaking out. BTW- we are child free and I just thought it wouldbe such a nice break.:(
I am over a year in a treatment and this is prettydisheartening.
So sorry your are having a
So sorry your are having a rough time! I know this all sucks! Just wanting to have a good time and enjoy a trip away from home! I don't have much advice, but thinking of you and understand your frustration! Hope things settle a little so you can enjoy the wedding!
According to energy
According to energy psychology, if you concentrate on positive, the pain will go away. If you dwell on negative, you may continue feeling physical and psychological pain. I would just go downstairs as if nothing happened and attempt to carry about the beautiful day.
Btw, no matter what, I would try to be in the wedding. Your relatives may forgive but they will remember, and that sets the stage for continuation and expasion of problems. You know it is a lonely disease; people can’t relate and don’t understand, it is a good idea to collect yourself and do the best you can, i.e., to keep good face and chin up.
Good luck!
Deir, I would like to call
Deir, I would like to call you and be of some support but my ??%@ phone deleted your number. If you have mine with you, feel free to call me;) Sometimes you just need a shoulder to cry on;)
Katie
Its Ok
Its Ok deir, that you've sorta "fallen down". You feel guilty for being mean to your husband, but at the same time so angry, and desperate and on the edge of just feeling resentful that life is like this for you. i SO get it!
I'm so sorry you flared so bad! It will go away, but I'm sorry it came at this time. If I were you, I'd focus on the fact that you can take hour by hour today, and take care of yourself the best you can. Try and focus on enjoying even the little things. Maybe taking a long hot shower (kid free!) and snuggling in bed with your husband for awhile if that sounds good. Don't let guilt eat away at you, after you tell your husband your sorry for maybe for being mean, but your just struggling and need him. They love to be needed!
Gosh I hope I helped instead of made you feel any worse, I'm praying for you today!
Deir,
I know what you are going through having just been through the worse flaring of my IC life. It is so scary, depressing, and energy zapping all at the same time. And to be away from home is even more difficult. I tried to go to the library in the midst of mine, and I ended up in the bathroom as soon as I got there, and by the time I got home I was zapped again of strength. My poor husband suffered, too, as we were supposed to go on vacation, but we couldn't because of my ill health.
Here is what helped me. I told my husband over and over how much help he was to me. There was one point when I hurt his feelings because I was so "mental," and I told him how sorry I was and how difficult this was for me. I found being alone helped, so the fact that you are alone without the kids is a big help. I also took baths and then using ice packs after helped me a lot. It's the hot/cold therapy to reduce inflammation and keep the blood flowing through that area. If you could take an ice pack with you to the wedding, that might relieve some of the pain. I tried to watch humerous things on tv to keep my mind off my pain and to try to laugh, if possible. And I prayed and prayed. I will pray this passes soon for you sweet Deir.
dear fellow
dear fellow sufferers,
THANK YOU. You have mad me feel so loved and understood. I got throughthe morning without my husband packing us up so that is good! He went and worked out and I took a bath and now I feel a little better. I have the hottest dress for this wedding and darn it- I am going. I am constantly working on the ACCEPTANCE part of this mess. It is so multi layered! It is so scary to have a flare out of Nowhere. I am assuming this is due completely to the anticipation/expectaitn/stress of going on this trip. Sigh....
Anyway- I am grateful for all the support and advice and i am going to try my best to be thrilled for our friends.
Katie- I don't have your number but I am going to call you Sunday or MOnday. xoxo So sorry to see you are going through a rough spell. ARGH!
Mrs A- THANK GOD you are feeling better- so scary!
Smokin Hot Dress
This is a really cruddy disease but what an amazing group of people. Soneone writes, I need help right now and people are there. Thank God for all of you guys.