Forums:
I went through treatment with Matia about 7 years ago – I can't remember how long my treatment was, but I got better. And that was after a long journey before finding her. I thought I was never going to experience the bladder urgency again, but recently, after giving birth to my second child, I had the onset of urgency about 3 weeks later. Now it's all coming back to me, the mental anguish of the urgency symptom. I find that it really messes with my mind. Not being able to make sense of why I feel better one day, or why I have a flare up the next. I did some major healing work around my bladder (sexual abuse) in group therapy last week, then had 2 almost symptom-free days. Then, I talked to Matia and started the protocol, and have been feeling urgency again every since, so I tell myself I RUINED it – that if only I didn't start the protocol that I'd be fine. I hate the way this dis-ease messes with my head!!
Matia said that she thinks that the drugs I took, mostly post-pardum (Ibuprofen, Colace) combined with the catheter during the epidural probably caused the imbalance that I'm currently experiencing. I had a urinalysis and urine culture, showing mixed bacteria, blood, pus, etc., in my urine, but I did not respond to antibiotics. Matia says it's the kind of bacteria that doesn't respond to antibiotics.
She said she thought that we could probably get me back on track in a pretty short period of time. I felt so good after getting off the phone with her, but now, day 6 into my protocol, I'm doubting the whole thing – I'm having so much urgency. And, just like last time, the die-off can seem so subtle, that I doubt that it's real. So, even though I've been in treatment with Matia before, and gotten better, my anxiety and fears about getting better get so big! I can relate to a comment I read that sometimes I feel that I'm the only one who WON'T get better, or in this case that THIS TIME it won't work. Or, my other fear, that it will take SOOO long. With a 7 week old newborn and a toddler, I'm feeling so depressed that I have urgency again, and at a time when things are already challenging.
I'm getting an herb from Bomamed tomorrow that Matia is prescribing to tweak my protocol, and I have that feeling like I'm hanging my every hope on it that it will bring some relief.
Do others experience that the die-off is subtle sometimes? Like I get vague notions of itchiness vaginally, or little pangs of pain now and then in that area, or now I've been getting that wierd sensation through my body, a tingling, or electricity that sends a little headache to my head for a few brief moments. These are all so fleeting. I so want them to be die off, that I worry that I'm making it up and that I'm not really getting better.
I know intellectually that Matia knows what she is doing, but in the midst of urgency I get so scared. Thank you for 'listening' and appreciate any perspective to interrupt the negativity in my head.
Camile
Camile:
I can understand how you are feeling right now. This is my first time in treatment and I am 11 months in. I had been doing so well but the last about three weeks have been quite difficult. My frequency has come back and I have so much gas and bloating. I am beginning to wonder if I have IBS. We have changed the herbs so much but not able to find the right combination. Deep down I know that Matia will help me but the negative thoughts do want to show themselves. It is positive that you did experience wellness before so surely you can get there again. It must be difficult to be going through this with a new little baby. Keep positive! You look like you have a beautiful family.
Camille
Camile,Hey! Take a deep breath! Anxiety is a vicious circle and fear can kind of eclispe our rational mind and logic and what is REALLY goin on. Its almost as if at least for me - if I worry about it enough I can experience the suffering and make it less scary or normalize it so if it does happen then it won't hurt so much. But what ends up happening is I just funnel my anxious energy into a negative ball until I'm a wreck. Find a way if you can through therapy or whatever works for you- to reduce your anxiety because there is no doubt that what happened is really simple. You got an imbalence from some factors (ibuprofen, etc) and you can also rebalence your condition back to health. You have gotten well before and you can do it again!YES YES YES! Die off can be very subtle and in the beginning I thought so too.Now I am SOSOSOS sensitive - by becoming better and by virtue of just paying more attention to my body I'm tuned into those changes and know yep- DIE OFF! headaches? twinges in vagina? nope not imaginaing it. its probably die off. I'm not sure what starts what- I think anxiety is a symtom of IC- in TCM- fear is connected to the bladder/kidneys! and it can be from yeast affecting nervous system maybe and then just being thrown into treatment all over again after going through it before is STRESSFUL with a new baby on top of everything! so again that can increase and exacerbate more anxiety. It might take a minute but I am sure you can get your health back on track. I'm in my 10 month and feel soooooo much better. I have had IC a long time and I had those very same thoughts. Just look at this if you can as an opportunity to get a big old tune up so you will be extra healthy for your children and family. Health is not static and requires some fine tuning anyway. I know you feel scared but it is going to be OKAY! how do I know?- our bodies are not invincable but you demonstrated once before the ability to regain your wellness. there was a cause for you runwellness and there will be a cause for your wellness with this tweak. when you feel your energy draining out of you as anxiety- take control and channel that fear into somethingpositive- focus your energy/beleifs into getting well no matter what. when thoughts start cycling and making you panic-take that energy which has to go somewhere and use your runaway active imagination to visualize health and wellness. this is how I control my anxiety (all just a suggestion.) Anxiety and urgency will recede. may releif peace and balence return to you swiftly sincerelyMary
Camille:I just logged in to
Camille:I just logged in to start a new topic, called "problems after breastfeeding" and I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw your post. Just like you, I finished treatment with Matia a couple of years ago, was doing very, very well, had an uneventful pregnancy, healthy baby, and here I am :(. During my last trimester I started having constant vaginal itching/crawling and urgency, which we thought were semi normal, because of yeast overgrowth during pregnancy. My symptoms resolved immediately after giving birth and I started to forget about the whole thing until...the symptoms became fullblown after about 5 months of exclusive breastfeeding. So this is also my second round. Matia put me on a protocol, my die-off symptoms were also extremely subtle, nothing like the first time, when I had a terrible case of sinusitis. I kept breastfeeding, but my symptoms wouldn't resolve. I stopped when my baby turned 11 months (a month ago), I started realizing that this could be hurting me badly. Matia says those things can really dehydrate us in a way that is very damaging to the bladder. I think that what is happening to you and me is just posteffect of hormonal rollercoster that we went through during pregnancy. Our bladder remains to be our weakest link and every time something major happens in our bodies, it breaks down. We both have to reccuperate and let out bodies return to normal after pregnancy and in my case also after breastfeeding. It will probably take some time, that is what I keep telling myself, even though I am also really, really scared.I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!!! I get extremely panicky and constantly thinking that this will never resolve. I constantly have what probably can be described as a fullblown yeast infection. Even though I rarely have urgency, but my symptoms are constant! My husband is a voice of reason, he keeps telling me every day that Matia will find something to bring me back to normal, and I have to be patient. Easier said than done.Natasha.
die off can be subtle
Hello Camille, I started treatment 4 months ago and my die off has been very subtle. Your symptoms exactly. My period is my best week and then boom the week after. Hormones have a major effect on my symptoms. Each month is better and better since starting with Matia. I know that urgency can be difficult. Especially with a new born and toddler to care for. I think Matia is on the right track. It sounds logical to me that your situation could cause this blip. Matia says that when she sees patients that have had symptoms reoccur, it usually only takes a short time to get them back on track. You know this treatment has worked for you before. Matia will get you through this. Hang in there. Congratulations on that beautiful baby. Tammy
Thanks to you all..
Thanks everyone for your replies. I'm reading them again every day so that I can feel a strong foundation mentally to keep going through this early stage. I will keep posting as to my progress.Today I got new herb from Matia and am starting it.Thanks for all your supportive words and sharing your experiences. It's so good to know I'm not alone.
Your experience will help others.
It has brought up a lot of questions and answers that will help others. Something good has come from your suffering. I hope that gives you some comfort. I hope your feeling better soon.Tammy
Thanks
Camille,If you are the same Camille from the success stories, I would like to thank you. It was your story in particular that inspired me the most. It gave me the courage to make the trip to LA and begin my own journey and I do not regret it. I am making progress. I now thank you for being honest about this awful condition. Your experience reminds us all that we cannot take anything for granted....especially our health. I hope and pray that once again you get well. esalinas
esalinas
Hi – No, I'm not the same one, I think I read that Camille's story as well. I'm from Chicago. Thank you for your message.
Thanks
Camille & Natasha, Thanks for posting on Dr. Brizman's blog. By bravely sharing your experiences, you have helped many of us learn more about recovering from IC. I didn't realize that I would need to watch my intake of natural sweets in the future. Your insights will also help me to better care for my family.
Camille from Chicago
Hi Camille,You may not be Camille from the success stories, but you did have major success. I am very glad that you posted your story here. I too have been feeling better and sometimes I tend to forget that this change in diet is for the rest of my life not just until I feel better. I hope all goes well with you and your beautiful babies. Remember: if you beat it once, you can beat it again. Take care, esalinas