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Hi ladies,
I have been struggling with weird symptoms now for some time and I kind of feel I need some encouragement to be able to keep going.
I would like to ask - has anyone had a severe nausea (I even throw up sometimes and I burp a lot and my stomach just refuses to digest food) that lasts for a longer time? I had it a month ago, for week and a half approximately, then she changed my herbs and it got better and now I am having it again (6 days I think?) and it is truly debilitating. I am on gml, ear, mega, siberian... Things get worse approximately an hour after taking my dose. I feel like I will throw up all the herbs, ugh. I am waiting for rhodiola to arrive, but I am not sure it will do anything with this. I just feel horrible all the time.
Second - I know that this might be discouraging for anyone new, but maybe I am a crazy exception, so please, anyone reading this, take me as an over-sensitive case that just has weird stuff going on.
Since I have started this treatment (3,5 months), I have been feeling really crappy. Most of the time, I really feel worse than at the beginning. I developed extreme fatique, depression and depersonalisation that just does not feel it will ever go away, muscle pain (I had it last spring and now again!!), joint pain, pain in my lower abdomen I did not have before treatment (like everything was inflamed, and before treatment physical excersice made me better - now I am in so much pain afterwards!), weird stiffness all over my body, I am so brainfogged that it amazes me - worse than before, I have a rash that is like a burnt skin with blisters Matia says she has never seen in any other patient (seems that herbs might make me oversensitive to sunlight actually, but noone knows and I have it all over my belly and thighs)... And everything I have had before (urethra pain, bladder pain that varies in its character, vulvodynia, migraines, flu-like symptoms, dry burning eyes and tongue, etc. is the same or sometimes worse). I am like... Ha, am I doing the right thing?? My main concern is - how do you know if the symptom is a die-off or a side effect from the herbs??? For example, I know that rhodiola might cause problems falling asleep, breath shortness etc., there is a ton of information on it online. So - I have no idea what the heck is in gml or ear, but it might include nausea as a side effect. So, no desirable die-off, just torturing myself? Sorry if I am too negative, I guess that is the depression speaking, I just feel so sick I would be a superman not to have a depression I think. I guess I just really need to read something positive - like, the nausea will stop and I won´t have to quit my job... Thank you for any comments on this!!
Alena
Symptoms and more symptoms
Hi Alena,
Yep - other than the blisters and getting sick enough to throw up (have heard of others that actually do) I've had all the rest. As for the Rhodiola, mentally, it made me feel like a new person. It did, however, cause all these white chunks to come out of my noise. Which I'm pretty sure is a good thing - who wants white chunks up in their sinuses?
Forgive me for being a bit of a smart ass - I am finally feeling hopeful and optimistic after hitting a real rough patch mentally. What you're going through sucks - it's not fair. I am here to tell you that it will get better. I too have questioned if all the horrible symptoms were die off or just horrible reactions to the herbs. The thing is, the list of improvements is mind boggling. The inflamation in my eyes is down - I can once again read small print (not enought to read an entire book -but at least a menu) my ear canals aren't closed at the ends any more, my clitoris is no longer swollen, I can have pain free great sex - if I'm not too tired, I've only felt that I might have a bladder infection once in the last 18 months (I didnt' by the way) my sinus head aches, that used to be daily, even before treatment, are now a rarity, PAP smears that they were sure would lead to cervical cancer are now noramal, off of years of habit forming, brain altering, anti-anxiety meds. If I sit here and think about it, I could come up with more. HERE IS THE THING - for all of those improvements I have SUFFERED through crazy, painful, anxiety driven, mind boggling, depression ridden, reactions to the die off - brought on by the herbs. This isn't easy, this is hard work. HOWEVER, with every bone in my body - it is worth it.
Hanging in there with you,
Hi Denise, thank you so
Hi Denise,
thank you so much for your kind words! I am really touched and I am thinking about printing this out... Because when I feel this horrible I just can not see the light... I kinda know it will get better, but after getting better, I always get worse again, and it goes like that over and over, like a cynical game... Btw. PAP smears - that is something that constantly scsres me too, my gyno says it is quite bad... Ugh, so nice to see that it can heal like this!!
I am really looking forward to starting rhodiola - although I am afraid it will interrupt my sleep, this depression is just horrible. I feel so sick all over my body and I have been feeling like that for almost 2 years now. It is almost unbeliavable that it could ever be normal.
May I ask you for how long have you been in treatment? Do you feel like you are close to finish line or something?:) Just curious. All your improvements sound so great and I am soo happy for you!!
I agree with you that it is hard work. In addition to hard work one has to do to pay for all this.:) Anyway thank you again - I will try to persuase myself that it IS a die off, it must be! :)
Oh, I'm so sorry for your
Oh, I'm so sorry for your pain, this sounds awful! I can tell you that I had a lot of vomiting and nausea early on and it was miserable, I hate nothing more than vomiting. But it did get better. It's all art of the cleansing process. I would literally curse at all those nasties coming out of me as I was barfing and say good riddance as I flushed them down! Ha ha. It somehow helped in a yucky situation.
As far as Rhodiola, I wouldn't worry too much about it until there is something to worry about. I had the sleep troubles at first, but after being on rhodiola now for the third time, I have no problems with it whatsoever. Everyone is so different you may have nothing at all. It's nice to be prepared for the reactions though so they aren't so scary if and when they do happen. The first time I couldn't catch my breath I had no idea it was related to the herb and I was so scared and couldn't sleep for days. It's so much better.
Hang in there. You are going to look back on all this and see how far you have come!
Sam,
thank you so much for this. It calmed me down - apparently at the beginning of treatment, really crazy things happen. Wow, I love your cursing!:) And I love your typo - "It's all art of the cleansing process." I know you meant "part", but what a decacent art this could be, haha. Black humor helps me sometimes.:)
That nausea scares me a lot, I had it back in autumn, and in that time, I did not do any special protocol, I just had it after every meal, so I always have such a hard time believing that something like that is a die-off. Or cleansing, no matter how we call it. Anyway, today it mysteriously dissapeared - ha! I am glad but I know that with a great probability, it will come back. But it is nice to have a break and have a chance to think and try to build some perspective again!
Thank you for your input on rhodiola - I am so glad you can have it without problems!! I just hope mine arrives soon - it is so frustrating to wait for herbs from abroad sometimes. Hope rhodiola will kick me into butt :) and remind me who I am a bit, I seem to lose it in moments like this.
treatment
Hi - this is quick - heading out of town for a week - have been in treatment since 7/10. Seemed to get a lot better bladder wise - and now anxiety main symptom. I have no idea where the darned finish line is - I just know this is my path. Last week when horribly anxiety driven - somewhere - maybe herb produced - I got some peace - a voice from my inner self - or somewhere else - It was while I was driving - I was flooded with this knowledge that I've always felt that seeing Matia was a leap of faith - I was reminding myself of this - whispering leap of faith - trying to stay calm. I looked over at the side of the road - was just finishing the last word "faith" when on top of this old dilapidated building there was this huge star - man made from wood - not sure what the heck it's for - kind of a cross between a star and a cross - rising quite high up into the sky. I have never been terribly religious - but that word "faith" has seemed to take hold of my mind and heart....I'm just hoping it lasts a few weeks :-)
So, this wasn't so quick - take care
beautiful! Thanks.
beautiful! Thanks.
Denise,
wow, thank you for sharing this. I totally pictured it in my mind, and it is a beatiful picture. I am trying to see all the magic happening around me (like answers from all the ladies here - it truly IS magic), but somehow when I am physically down, everything is just grey and I see no symbols/values/hidden meanings that make life beautiful and hopeful. So, it was so nice to read this, to remind me... And I hope that faith and magic never dissapears from your sight!
Aya, I was wondering how you
Aya, I was wondering how you are doing, glad you posted.
I was in bed shape when I went to see Matia. I could not sit through my 1.5 hr appointment and I could not understand or remember what she was saying toward the end. I was exhausted. Once I added mega, I felt even worse. The exhaustion was topped with foggy mind, confusion, all kinds of muscle and nerves reactions, ringing ears, other physical symptoms. It is very hard in the beginning, but since you already invested sooo much into this treatment, it would be logical to keep pressing on.
I did feel better, then worse, then better again, and worse. But even bad times now are better than what I was a year ago.
Btw, guess what, often times I do not see that light either. But... nowadays I can function to some degree, before I couldn't. One of my big challenges now is mental. Hope one day the light will shine again for all of us.
Have you tried doing anything nice for yourself? Listening to nice music, thinking positive thoughts, going to concert, walk, breathing exercises? They do work.
Aya: I'm very sorry you are
Aya:
I'm very sorry you are having such a bad time. I also had horrible symptoms in the beginning and for sure was very confusing to know whether was die off or herbal reaction. Looking back I realise that all were probably die off because 5 months after I got so much better. I am salicylate intolerant and cannot tolerate herbs, but I tried to cope with some because I knew they were helping, where is the limit? I don't know, but now my limit is very low, I cant stand any, for me Siberian Ginseng was unbearable, so I stopped, it made and still makes my bladder to feel on fire, like peeing hot lava, but goldenseal and oregano oil where harsh but not too much, so ok. I had rushes and pimples on my arms and legs, VERY VERY ITCHY, coldsores, and eczema on my scalp for months, and some nausea...but not much...crawling, burning, bladder pain, lower back pain.. Is difficult to know when you are taking so many herbs at the same time, but Dr B knows what she is doing, maybe ask her to slow down, I think that might help. I tried Rhodiola recently and couldn;t either, I felt burning, frequency...awful.. so I'm just taking probiotiocs and cod liver oil.... Send you love and hang in there! it will get better.
Blondy: I wonder how long have you been in treatment and what symptoms are left. Do you have bladder pain? I hope you feel somehow positive. One step at a time.
love
Hi Sonia!
First I have to say I love your cat!:)
Thank you for this!! I am sorry you can not tolerate so many herbs - I can not tolerate goldenseal, it just makes all my bladder symptoms worse after few days, I do not know why, because I can tolerate much "stronger" herbs (I have tried many in the past in huge doses when I was self-treating!). It is so unpredictable... And not really an exact science, huh.
Thank you also for naming your die-off symptoms - ugh, that sounds like a lot of fun, too. I think Dr B goes slow with me, but I recently got bitten by some weird insect and she just had to put me on GML and Ear in higher doses. And it actually did help my bladder a bit, but perhaps created some irritation in my system (or a die-off, I am still so skeptical, haha):).
Hope you will feel better and better! Sending you some positive energy from the heart of the old continent.:)
Hi Blondy,
thank you for being so open. When I went to LA, I were nowhere close to your condition. I could sit and listen, now I can´t most of the time (well, I can sit, but I have really HARD time concentrating and being interested in what others say). I can hear you when you speak about mental challenge. Depression, anxiety, depression again, pushing myself... A vicious circle I know, but life has its demands and I want to live and I need to take care of myself. That´s what takes me to your suggestions about doing something nice for myself.. Well I try, all the time, but I am so often knocked off and feel so terrible, that I have a serious problem to keep deadlines at my jobs. I am either brainfogged or in so much pain or flu-like or tired that I can not do much most of the time (and that crazy cooking and shopping takes so much time as everyone here knows). So, when I have a good day, I have to work like crazy. Then I am bad again. I am trying to find a balance, but I need to finance a lot of things. That put me in a lot of stress. Anyway, I am doing my best. We will see. I do not write this to self-pity or complain, that´ show it is now and I am grateful that I am given so much options to actually help myself!!
I really hope you will be much better soon, and that the light will just stay with you. I am sure it will, in fact. If we are persistent enough. This forum and people here really help me with this. It is hard work really, I can remember you have kids, it is so challenging. I deeply admire everyone who can take care of anyone else with this horrible thing!!
Aya- Real quick- THIS WILL
Aya- Real quick- THIS WILL GET BETTER!
hang in there- Ia m so sorry you are feeling so bad.
Alena,
I am so glad you wrote in to the forum for help! There is just so much loving help here, and we are all with you as you walk through this rough time. You are not alone. Even though we are miles apart, you are so often in my thoughts and prayers. Everyone in my family asks often how you are doing. So please know that we will keep praying for you. You are such a beautiful, intelligent, young woman. I was just telling Adriane (who I finally met yesterday, woo hoo!) that I am in such awe of your perseverance in all that you are doing while managing this difficult disease. And I can't help but think that some day this is going to help you so much in your own practice with your own patients, because you already have such a deep sense of sympathy and sensitivity coupled with great courage. I absolutely believe you are in the right place on the right path. You are going to get better, Alena. Your body is detoxifying right now, but it's what is necessary to bring on stability. I took GML and the Ear Formula along with Goldenseal off and on for the first three months, and even though it was pretty tough, I think that is when some serious healing took place for me.
I love, love all the advice you have already received! The gals on this forum are just amazing to me. Keep in close contact with Dr. B as you go through this, she will guide you through. I send you a big hug and lots of love! We all wish you could visit us again sometime! :)
oh!!
Hi there!! Thank you so much for your kind words... Mrs. A!:) I had tears in my eyes as I was reading it. That is all I can say now or I will start crying again.:)
I am happy you and Adriane finally met! Wish I could be there. Hope she is doing well?
I also really love all the advice I have received. This forum is truly a miracle. And all the ladies are tough and great fighters. I really appreciate all the support.
I am not really much into quotes, but I have had a favorite one, and this reminded me of it. It is by Lao Tzu:
If I have even just a little sense,I will walk on the main road and my only fear will be of straying from it.Keeping to the main road is easy,But people love to be sidetracked.
Well, not always so easy since you are not a master of Tao, I would add. :) Anyway, I chose this as a main road, at least for now.
Lots of love
Alena
Hi Deir,
thanks for this. Actually, I think about you very often. I consider myself in somewhat similar situation - I was on quite a healthy diet before (well, I did not eat meat, but I ate a lot of organic cheese, eggs, nuts...), anyway I ate much healthier than any of my peers. I was on BC pill, yes, but again... Most of my female friends are on it. Why the heck do I have this, and so many horrible stuff going on like if someone have poisoned me, while my friends do this and that and are under a lot of stress and are OK. I was thinking about it when I read many of your posts. And when I read that you are not getting better yet really. I really feel for you and I can relate to that so much... I supposed I will be quite fast in recovery, as I was able to make myself better on my own IC regimen last summer, haha. A year has passed and I am worse. 2 years of pure agony. I am writing this just to stress that just like you, in spite of all of those facts, I believe in this. It just makes sense, even if it seems like a acreepy sense sometimes.:)
To all:
I am not sure why this bloody thing won´t let me to respond to every post, it just mixed it weirdly. Sorry, next time I will write one monster post at the end of the thread, sorry for confusion, hope everyone will find my answer.:)