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I knew I'd make you look! ;)
Actually, I do have a real question. Wondering if anyone else has this issue?
I get signifigantly worse if I have an orgasm. I have no pain during sex but I pay for it later if I have an orgasm. This seems so cruel and it is really sad to me. I was kind of unsure if I was having this reaction but since I have been fairly stable the past 2 weeks, it is very clear that this is the cause. Sex itself sometimes aggravates me but it is clear that it is the orgasm itself that is the problem mostly. I am upset about this for many reasons as you can imagine. I am one of the few married people I know who actually really LIKE their partner and this is just awful.:(
I will say however that I have been really doing better emotionally dealing with IC. I am now looking at what I CAN do as opposed to what I can't. Like if I had MS and I was in a wheelchair, better to look at the situation and say "despite being unable to walk, I still get where I need to go" So with this I say "Even though my sex life has changed, we still have fun together, desire each other and deeply love and respect eachother"
Anyway- I know some of you have a lot of pain during sex altogether so I should be grateful. Just wondering what this means and if anyone else has this particualr issue.
Thanks
I did :) sex aggravates my
I did :) sex aggravates my symptoms. I usually get a flare right after and next day then subsides. I am married for 3 yrs almost and my husband joked about blue balls the other day which made me sad. During sex if i can relax, i can enjoy. However, i tell him to rush to come before me so i dont dry up and hurt more. I used to enjoy intimacy with him greatly, even used to think we should be more sexually active as newly weds than we did. Now i can't help but prolong, so it' like once a month or once in two months! It's aweful and makes me so sad. For me, the thrubbing and pressure on y bladder causes the most pain. However, i am almost convinced prolonged state of contractions, sorry tmi but i mean masturbation causes me discomfort greatly as well. It's almost like the contractions continue after the orgasm causing a lot of pain afterwards as well. I asked matia, and she said it should get better about 3 months but i highly doubt i will be ever able to enjoy sex without consequences.
This is so difficult,
and I am not sure this will help, but Bomamed sells a sexual lubricant that might help with dryness. I really believe you are all going to get better!
I am the same
Deir,
I experience the exact same thing! It is so frustrating! I start feeling the pain within 12 to 24 hours. I don't know why it takes that long for the pain to start, but it does.
I know this will resolve itself as our bodies heal, but it is really hard to deal with in the meantime. I love being with my husband too, and I dream about the day when we can have sex without me being in pain after.
I am the same
Deir,
I experience the exact same thing! It is so frustrating! I start feeling the pain within 12 to 24 hours. I don't know why it takes that long for the pain to start, but it does.
I know this will resolve itself as our bodies heal, but it is really hard to deal with in the meantime. I love being with my husband too, and I dream about the day when we can have sex without me being in pain after.
Sex......Dreaming of the Day!
Oh how I wish I had a comment to add! I am new to treatment and it has been almost 2 years now since I have had sex. When I just had IC symptoms my body would let me enjoy it every once in a while. Even though the after shock of pain was to follow, I was so used to it I didn't know anything else. Now that the vaginal pain and burning and tissues are painful, I can't even attempt. My poor boyfriend he is so understanding and knows this terrible disease as wel were high school sweethearts so he has been through it all! I wish you ladies quick healing and lots of pain free sex very soon!
All my love and prayers!
That has happened to me
That has happened to me before, but it went away. I have been a patient of Matia's for 8 months, a lot of the old symptoms I had have either gotten better or gone away.
I used to be completely dry down there, and could not even have intercourse without lubricant. After about 3 months of taking herbs that went away.
I used to have pain during intercourse, and now the only days that hurt are ovulation.
Every month I have improvements, or symptoms have just completely vanished.
So just give it time, and I know that will be fixed.
sex anxiety
I totally have more discomfort if I have an orgasm, too. I think it's something about the spasms that lingers and just adds to the upset. It's so, so frustrating. Sex is a very occasional thing for me, accompanied by lots of anxiety and sadness. Ugh! I always equate sex with IC, my first major round of IC came on after the 2nd time I ever had sex. I've gone through periods of relatively pain-free sex, (not lately, but when I was healthier), but I ALWAYS experience such raw nerves over it. I am so, so jealous of friends who have consequence-free, happy sex lives with their partners. It's tough not feeling like a sexual being, or feeling like I have to suppress that part of myself.
Enough ranting. Hmph. On the plus side, I don't worry that my sweetie is using me! God bless all the partners out there who are understanding about our issues.
Deir, I'm glad to hear your thinking about IC is opening up for you a little bit. I will try and adopt this can-do approach. I think it's really helpful and healthy.
Hi Claire- You will get that
Hi Claire- You will get that mojo back, I am sure of it!
I think that is a great point about your boyfriend not using you. I know my husband loves me through thick and thin - for better or worse after all but I myself miss the freedom. But really we've been making the best of it! I've been with my husband since I was 15 (ohmy- 23 years now) so we know how to be creative! ;)
Selichan- keep the faith -you WILL get there someday.
Everyone else- thankyou so much for your input. You are wonderful and brave
Hey all- GOOD NEWS- i decided
Hey all- GOOD NEWS- i decided to test the waters the other night so to speak and well...no bad reaction! I have been feeling much better consistantly for a few weeks (for the first time really) so maybe I have turned a corner? Wow- I am just giddy that the next day was ok. I thought about the idea of the muscle contraction irritation so I basically slept with a low heatig pad on my crotch- maybe that helped. Sorry for the tmi!
Anyway- I am trying to stay in the moment and not assume I will never have an issue again but hey- that's pretty good right?
Congratulations!
It is pretty good. Have fun : )
Yay : )
Yay : )
Deir,
that is wonderful! Great idea about the heating pad. May you keep getting better and better. :)
Hey Deir, that's great news!
Hey Deir, that's great news! :) I am so happy to hear you had a good experience, and didn't flare afterwards. It's a good idea to use the heating pad! I realized bathing in warm water helped me so it must be the heat factor that calms and relaxes the spasms.
I am wondering if going too long in between is causing me more anxiety and pain as a result. I am too conscious and tense during sex. Few months ago, sex seemed better, so it's a bit confusing if it's getting worse? I think i just need to relax and enjoy it, and maybe communicate with my husband more what feels good and not. Thank you Mrs. A for the suggestion, i am currently using the BomaMed lubricant as well. I usually use a lightly lubricated condom like Skyn or Bare Sensations and those work good during but could give me a bit of flare afterwards. This time it was painful during but no flare after. Haha..not sure what's better :)
I know this has to get better as we heal and get better, it must be one of those symptoms that linger longer than others. I remember reading an older patient say she could have sex and not hurt at all anymore. I hope all of us to get there and feel better, healthier and enjoy intimacy again.
Thanks Ladies! Now- if my 8
Thanks Ladies! Now- if my 8 year old would just get to sleep- I have more testing to conduct!!! LOL
Selichan- I think the mental part is so hard and maybe you are right about trying more often and letting go of expectatins the best you can. Also- do you "do other things'? It helped me so much when I explained to my husband back last summer that he needed to still treat me like a lover even if we couldn't "do it" But like I said- we were together as kids so we had a few years of fooling around!
Sex
See ladies, there are some perks that come with posting on the site. You go deir.
Heh he :)
Heh he :)
*sigh* Sometimes I am fine
*sigh* Sometimes I am fine afterwards and then sometimes my urethra and clitoral areas are sore so badly after even oral sex it feels like a UTI but it never is anymore ( thank goodness!)
( I've nixed "regular" sex recently to see if that was a trigger but now I think it may be any form of it at the moment) ...
Anyone have this or have pain in general in the clitoral/urethral area?this is my main symptom- It's so so obnoxious ,it feels like someone put chemicals down there and it's stinging...anyone know what is up with this?
I AM ovulating at the moment but I swear it's connected to sex...
on a more positive note I had three relatively pain free days over the weekend!! My bladder was calm and it was great , I just wanted to swim in the relaxation of it :)