Wish I could give you a big hug. WE understand. has your family read anything about IC? WIll they look online at this site or others? Do you haev anyone else in your life for support- you need it.I felt like I just couldn't be  a mom anymore several days last winter. It was the worst feeling in my life. I don't feel like that  now even though I have bad days- it's different. Are you sticking with list 1 diet? I think if you can start to see a little improvement that will go a long way to making you feel like you can do this. it is so daunting and I don't have any magic words since I am still trying to figure out how to cope myself but I know I do cope much much better now. It is a cliche but...just take one day at a time. Try not to worry about what COULD be. I should listen to myself! LOL I read some quote that said something like- Anxiety doesn't take away the pain of tomorrow but it robs you of the joy of today. I know in the case of IC, there is actual pain in today but truly, you don't know what tomorrow will bring and just by starting Dr Bb's diet and reading success stories, you are on your way to healing. Hang in there and I am sending you a great big, understanding hug- really.