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Hi All,
I am really needing some encouragement. I'm feeling pretty depressed at the moment. I am a year into treatment, and I've made a lot of progress: got off all the drugs I was taking (nine pills a day when I started with Dr. B) and got through the major withdrawl symptoms. When I was still weaning off of the drugs, I was on List 2 and really enjoying all the veggies. I've had to cut back to List 1 and I've only been able to tolerate lettuce and cucumbers for veggies for the last couple of months. I'm eating chicken, beef, and potatoes, olive oil, butter, and sea salt. That's it. I'm hoping to try cabbage and cauliflower again this week (I tried a couple weeks ago and I think it was bad, but I don't know). I've been in so much pain almost constantly with a few days of relief here and there. Dr. B knows that this is all I'm eating and she is okay with it for now because we have been making so many dose changes. However, I've been on the same herbal protocol for the last week with improvement, so maybe I'll get a chance to try some things this week!
Dr. B has been great this whole time, and I'm seeing steady improvement. I was at Level 6-8 pain for a WHILE, but now I'm at a Level 4-6. But that's only if I don't sit, walk too much, drive, etc. I'm just so tired of being housebound because of pain! I could scream!
I really need to hear from some of you that have been through this. I know that I'll get better, but it's sooooooooooo hard to be patient right now. My whole family (I have a sweet husband, a twenty-year-old daughter, a sixteen-year-old son, and a seventeen-year-old son - and I'm only 43!) is gone for the weekend, so I'm by myself with our labradoodle, Wesley. Normally, I LOVE being by myself because I'm an introvert, but I'm really struggling with not being able to go anywhere for such a long time (it's been three months like this). Yesterday, I tried to drive myself to the grocery store five minutes away, but I was in so much pain afterward that I've been in bed for the last two days.
Thanks for letting me vent my frustration. I've been reading a lot of the old posts, Dr. B's past blog entries, and her dissertation and it's all helping me to keep my perspective. But I would love to hear from you guys! Thanks!!!
Lisa Ann,
I have been housebound with IC pain right after I came home from China with our new daughter. I know this frustration and pain. I also could not drive anywhere without pain, even just a 20 minute trip resulted in worse bladder pain, so I just stayed home. I am so very sorry, and I will be praying for you! I am not an older patient, but I can't go to bed tonight without responding.
I am amazed that you are off nine pills a day. That is fabulous! You have made such significant progress, Lisa Ann. I am so glad you have such a sweet family behind you. And it is so wise of you to read the old posts to keep you in perspective during the difficult times. I read the forum and blog posts to death when I was housebound, and I learned so much, which still helps me.
I have to leave you with a couple recipes. I just wish I could cook for you! I am not sure if you are able to tolerate celery, but I read recently that celery hearts with butter smeared on top is very good with a bit of pink salt. Simple recipe, but sometimes they are the best. :)
This next recipe is off Foodnetwork, and I made it tonight. It was so good.
Filet Mignon
Salt and garlic powder steaks on both sides.
6 T. butter
1 1/2 T. olive oil
Melt together on med/high heat til foam has somewhat subsided, cook steaks uncovered 3 minutes per side. Put in a covered dish after done for a few minutes before eating. This would be very good sliced thin with lettuce and cucumbers and a bit of olive oil, and pink salt. We ate it with oven fries (a recipe I shared some time ago). It was delicious.
May you continue to heal and feel better so soon. A big hug to you!
Thank you for responding so quickly
Mrs. A,
Thank you for your response. I read it last night before I went to bed, but I was so tired and wanted to wait until today to respond.
It's good to hear that you do not have to stay at home all the time anymore. It encourages me! I know I will be able to do the same eventually, it's just really hard to watch my family go and do their thing when I cannot do it with them. Everyone in my family is home a lot, so I'm not usually this lonely. My husband works from home and my boys are homeschooled. My daughter just got home from an internship, but she got a job at Trader Joe's so she will be working there soon. I've just really hit a rough patch with everyone gone at once this weekend. I'm doing better emotionally this morning, but the "dark cloud" is still there.
I agree that the old posts and Matia's blog are so helpful! Dr. B's dissertation is amazing too! I was just reading about epithelial cells and the lumen that holds them together. Did you know that epithelial cells replace themselves faster than any other cell in our body? Part of our healing is rebuilding the epithelial cells inside our bodies.
Thank you for the recipe! I will have to get some filet mignon soon, it sounds delicious!
Hug Wesley for me : )
Hi Lisa Ann,
I wanted to let you know that you're not alone in this world. While I don't have your awful physical symptoms, I kind of consider myself in competition for the resident nut job award. I am often in terror of my own body and my mind turns OCD with worry - any medication that Dr. B tries hasn't been much help in the last couple of months - anything that I try that is conventional causes bladder pain. This morning I spent hours on the couch sobbing and rocking. Luckily, right now, I have a bit of a grip on reality and am feeling much better.
So, hanging in there with you - I don't have a Wesley but I have orange sweet heart kitten named Alvin.
Wesley is a great dog :)
DLFox,
Thank you for your comment. It is so helpful to know that we are in this thing together! This journey can be pretty lonely and sometimes my emotions can get the best of me too! I'm so sorry that you are dealing with anxiety. I have had my fair share of dealing with that too. Being proactive really helps me, even if I can't control the circumstances. My way of being proactive with this thing are to read Dr. B's dissertation and other things about Chinese medicine and the human body so I can understand what is happening to me. But being proactive can only take a person so far. Sometimes you just need to talk about your frustrations with people who get it. I guess that's being proactive too. LOL
How are you feeling today? Your kitten sounds wonderful! Every orange cat I've ever met has been sweet. I think I want one now :)
Lisa Ann - Thank you
Today is a much better day - I hope for you too. If not today, try to center yourself with the knowledge that it will get better. If I find that I can do that, it seems to make the present so much better. Now, if I could only have enough faith to be ok with whatever the present has to offer - then I will have really succeded. Or, quite possibly attained the status of a bumb who lives quite happily in my car. :-
Still hanging in there with you -
Lisa Ann, I am sorry to hear
Lisa Ann, I am sorry to hear you are going through a difficult time. My thoughts are with you. Feel better soon!
Thanks Blondy!
Thanks Blondy!
LIsa Ann- I truly believe we
LIsa Ann- I truly believe we are all on the right path. I am sorry you are feeling so bad and I am thinking of you.
Denise- Hang in there, hon. it sounds like you have hit quite a challenging patch.
The ladies on this board continue to amaze me with their courage.
I am grateful for all of you.
Needing some encouragement
Hi Lisa Ann,
Im so sorry you are having such a hard time right now. It sounds like you do feel as though you've made quite a bit of progress over the last year. I know how hard it is to see that when we are in the midst of such a difficult time. As we all know oh so well, this treatment ebbs & flows & has many peaks & valleys. Being able to get yourself off of 9 different meds is amazing. I know how hard it was for me to stop the pain medication I was on, I can't imagine doing that with 9 drugs. You sound like a very strong person. Things will improve for you. I know that for me, usually when I'm going thru a real "sucky" time, when it passes, I'll notice that there are some improvements, sometimes very subtle, but positive changes none the less. No one but those of us who are doing this treatment can possibly understand all of the physical & mental challenges we go thru. The depression just magnifies everything. Sometimes it's hard not to get discouraged. But I absolutely believe in this treatment as a path to restored health. I feel bad that you are having such a hard time right now. I hope you start to feel much better very soon. Sending warmth & comfort your way.
Lisa(Joann ) :-)
Deir and Lisa, Thank you so
Deir and Lisa,
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement and sympathy. It helps so much!!!
The weekend was bad, but today is better. I've been having bowel movements like crazy so SOMETHING is happening! Sorry if that's TMI, but we all know how important those BM's are. LOL
The pain has eased some today, so I'm really thankful for that. Also, my husband and three teenagers and I all sat down and had a family meeting today to talk about family responsibility and household chores, etc. and it was a really productive meeting. So I am emotionally better because we worked out some stuff we needed to work out.
I definitely believe in this treatment, although I have to admit that sometimes the doubts want to creep in. Hearing from all of you does wonders for my peace of mind and helps me press on and keep believing that I (and everyone else in treatment) will at some point be healed. The evidence is there in past patients and Dr. B's amazing knowledge, wisdom, and insight regarding the immune system and I.C. in particular. And the evidence is in how far I've come already!
Love you guys!
Lisa