hannah- have you thought about maybe starting with a higher list and weaning yourself like that? Maybe have some blueberries? Also- maybe don't volunteer to make cookies next time! That is torture for you.

Hi Hannah!
Firstly, don't be hard on yourself. Sugar is highly addicting. And most of the world is addicted to it. We evolved to crave it. Even though it can be our undoing.
When are you going to meet with Dr. B? Did you schedule a date?? I hope you have!!! List 1 is really hard to do unless you are under her care, although I have read of the few brave souls that have done it for a bit. If you can't stick to list 1, then maybe list 1 and 2, and no sugar or yeast?
I am very worried that you don't have quite the 100% support at your parents house that you will need. When you do start treatment, you will need to have them support you. This means not keeping sweets or sugar in the house. and NOT baking, except list approved yummy quickbreads, muffins and buscuits.
When you start treatment, you will have to tell them to keep sugar out of the house. Really. Seriously. Absolutely. They can get it somewhere else. It is everywhere, afterall. You must impart that you can't overcome this devistating imbalance if you eat sugar, and you can't do it without their help. I am sure they can get thier sugar somehwere else. 
Replace the sugar in their house with lovely maple sugar and raw agave. And then leave that alone too! To get through it with them, tell them it is just for one year. On list one there is lovely quickbread you can slather with butter. There are squash muffins that even my kids like. By the time you get to list 3 you can make cream buiscuits, blueberry or blackberry or raspberry scones (sugar free). You will be able to have yogurt with fruit. List 2 is really not too bad either!! You can bake on this diet. You just have to be very careful. TRY to experiment with recipes (search this site) and come up with a reperoire of "treats" from the lists. When I was on list one, I made yellow squash "fries" friend in olive oil almost every night. They were my treat. By list 2, I was tolerating olive oil potato chips from Trader Joes, and then the Kettle brand potato chips. Those are my "treat" also. In moderation, of course. It does get easier. It really does. But when you are really ready to commit, you can't have any of that stuff in the house!! 
This is a real lifestyle change. Forever. If you want to regain your health. I have started researching sugar-free products, including ketchup, fruit spreads, and other things that we used to eat weekly that are loaded with hidden sugar. You have to do your research and be very diligent. These lists involve initially making everything from scratch and only eating 100% unprocessed foods. It does get easier after you are in the groove of it. Focus on what you CAN eat!
The only things I have around for my kids are fruit leathers and real fruit popsicles. Also, Earth's Best or Annies Bunnie Cookies. These are not appealing to me so they don't tempt me at all.
I remind myself, that at the end of treatment, I will be rewarded by: A. A normal sex life, B. All foods will be available to me with a few minor execptions, C. I will be able to buy and make and enjoy fruit-sweetened and agave-sweetened goodies in moderation. It will come, and they will taste great. 
Even Dr. Rober Lustig, expert on sugar and its perils will tell people the best way to avoid it, is to not expose yourself to it. Don't go shopping hungry. I eat first, or I bring a cup of black tea or coffee with cream to the store with me so I can sip on it. Sometimes there is a cheese sample there so I can indulge in that!
Contact me through this site, or if you want, we can speak on the phone. You need support. You can do this.

These are formidable suggestions. On the subject of self-forgiveness, I was a bulimic in my 20s and I still have portion control issues. I repeatedly relapsed during bulimia and then double punished myself with a beat up session. After one eats, you feel disregulated and the voices start talking in the never/always vernacular. What I learned was to try not to throw up and put myself to bed at night. It was always better in the am. When I did throw up and concluded that I had blown it forever, I got back on the horse and rode and later saw that inspite  of what I thought, I did move forward. It took me many years (say 6) and a lot of OA meetings but eventually I stopped throwing up. Inspite of what I thought at many points.
You will get there. Your body and spirit want to heal. For every perfect
Brizman "protocolist", there are others like me who got to start on List 3 and was so addicted to sugar  that I had to taper off and eat half a bag of dried apples a day.
i also had to taper off white wine to stop a 20 year dinner time glass of wine habit (acid reflux) and boy did I feel deprived.
 
guess what- a year later, I am so thrilled that I don't drink. I understand that it was making me low grade sick all the time.  But it took time to settle into these new feelings and attitudes.  I am 54. You have a lot of time.
waiting at the other side are some amazing benefits that will reveal themselves.
 
for me, on List 4 and 5, my diet is amazingly rich because Dr. b cured me of my 25 food allergies. My allergist told me I would take them to the grave. Keep us posted. Love, B