i´ve been ill for a short time only. my ic started in january this year. but nobody gave answer to your request yet so maybe i can make you feel a little better even though i´m not so experienced. but i´ve been talking to many former patients and i´m sure all of them went through stages of horrible anxiety and the majority of them has their life back now. this treatment, if you stick to it, will give your body the chance to heal no matter what´s going on in your mind. it´s totally normal to have doubts and to worry when you´re in pain, when you feel worse after feeling better, this is all very scary and a huge mind f.... and you are constantly seeking for reassurement. i was so so anxious in the beginning that sometimes i had the feeling of not being able to breathe anymore.  i know how it is when you worry about your own thoughts being negatively intervening your healing process. and these fears will probably stay with you for as long as you´re in pain. but they will fade simultaneously with the decay of your symptoms. this is a very slow but gradual process. as soon as you start noticing improvements in your health you will gain more and more trust in your body´s ability to heal itself. but it´s not possible to force yourself into being faithful. you are only putting additional pressure on yourself. but you could ask boaz to give you some herbs that help with anxiety. this is only the beginning Carey. You will get better. I know being patient is so difficult when you´re in pain, but soon you´ll be able to relax your mind more and more often. this will happen naturally. if you want, i can send you some success stories. just send me a mail inbox. hang in there girl. as horrible as this experience might be, it will help you to become a very strong, compassionate superwoman.

I really really resent this idea. I started off extremely confidant- assured that I would have my life back better than ever. I told everyone I knew about it. My process has been extremely tough. But, I really do believe that positive emotions flood your body with good stuff so i try my best to include these things in my life:
 
love
laughter
fun/festivity
faith
hope
purpose
play
gratitude
 
I try to be patient and loving to my fearful thoughts but I would fall apart completely if I thought these thoughts were actually keeping me sick. it is actually my worst fear.  I remember when I was going through Infertility and people would say the same things. I always thought about rape victims or people in 3rd world countries under constant stress who were able to get pregnant easier than I . My issue was much more physiological just like my IC is as well.
 
Anyway- of course, I do believe that stress plays a part- but I think it may be more about how we are wired and it is a slow process to untangle this. Stress and negative emotions cause a cascade of cortisol, adrenaline etc. However, denying grief and sadness and expecting WAY too much from yourself does too.
 
So anyway- maybe just let that worry go the best you can. You just started. Give yourself some time. This is a nasty disease.
 
I think Annika is right, the better you feel, the less you are scared. It is pretty darn obvious. The longer this goes on for me, the deeper I have to dig and in the end (whatever that means- whether I am well or not) I will be a stronger person. I have been forced to dig so deep because I don't even fit in with most of Dr B's patients. I often feel alone. That is when I really need my higher power- God. That is also part of this for me. I don't feel like I have thta much control over every bit of life to the point that my every thought directly affects whether I get well or not.
 
I try my best to harness the joy in life and I work every day to improve my stress reactions and adjust my expectations and my lifestyle so I can better allow my body to heal. But not allowing myself to grieve a little even every day would be denial and suppression. Also, just taking the herbs and sticking to this hard lifestyle/diet shows there is hope even when the mind is saying "I'll never be well"
 
I like what my dear friend Claire said,"I think of myself as HEALING from IC, not sick from IC" I think tha is a great way to face reality while still looking towards the light.

Carey,
 
I agree with everything Annika and Deirdre said.  They both have great perspectives.
 
I know you have been experiencing increased pain as a result of the herbs and supplements, and that's got you scared.  We are so used to being able to take a pill and feel better right away, and when we take some "pills" and feel worse, it doesn't make sense.  I know you know this, but just keep remembering that this treatment is not a quick fix, and sometimes it takes time to figure out what your body will respond well to. 
 
Everyone in treatment has their own experience, and everyone is different.  My experience has been that most of the dose changes have brought me relief, but there have been times when it took several tries before we got to the right combination, and I experienced increased pain before it decreased.  
 
The most important thing for you to do is take really good notes everyday and communicate to Boaz clearly and concisely.  This can take a little time to know what is important to communicate and what isn't.  If you are in a lot of pain, email him.  Don't try to tough it out.  Ask him what your expectations should be, and let that be a guide for communication.
 
I don't know Boaz, but I do know Matia, and she is incredibly knowledgeable and compassionate.  I'm sure she totally trusts Boaz and they seem like a great team.  I think you are in great hands.
 
Lisa

Carey,
I'm a newbie right there with you. It seems our stories are similar in some ways. I've tried every healing path in the book over the past year. The difficult part is some things did bring me relief. So having gone through periods of increased comfort and less pain, to now having pain again is psychologically so hard. My tolerance for the pain is much lower than it used to be, because I've had breaks from it. I'm only a few weeks into treatment and the mental piece of this is as difficult as the physical, so far.
I look forward to comparing notes with you along the way and supporting one another. I have my first phone appt with Boaz on Tuesday. I hope yours went well and that you're feeling some relief!
 
Katy

I think Boaz should write some blog posts just like Matia!
 
I wish that there could be a weekend retreat with Matia and Boaz where we could all hang out together and ask lots of questions and they could teach us in more detail what is happening to us.  I think it would be so encouraging.  Or at least do an interactive thing online.