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So I am 5 1/2 months into treatment right now. Just wondering if anyone else is going through these weird feelings that change every month. The past month I have had the worst negative feelings ever. I have been having crazy nightmares, and I just think the worst about everything. And the couple months prior to that I was angry all the time.
For example, I keep having nightmares that either my Husband is leaving me, or that he died. Also sometimes during the day I will get these bad feelings like that my life is going to fall apart. I gave a leave of absence to my job because it was so stressful, and I wasn't being treated good. Now I am stressing because even though I know my job is safe there, I feel like I may not go back. I have been there for 3 years and loved it, but they just haven't been treating very well. But now I feel like everything is going to end. I have these fears that my Husband will leave me, and that I will have no money. So I keep worrying, but the crazy thing is, is that none of those feelings are true. I don't know why I keep stressing about everything. I have all this fear inside of me. It's like things from the past are coming back to haunt me. It's like I am making up all this crazy non sense in my head. I really feel that this is because of the treatment, I think that I am having die-off , and that these crazy things in my head are due to that. I think these feelings had a lot to do with my going on leave of absence from because everything is just so hard for me to handle emotionally right now.
Has anyone else experienced this that can help me overcome it? I hate these horrible thoughts, I always try to get them out of my head, but the fact that they are there to begin with really bothers me.
Hello Calieve! I can totally
Hello Calieve! I can totally relate with you on the crazy nightmares!:( I have been in treatment 10 and 1/2 months. I have always had very vivid dreams, but since starting treatment they are almost always negative: loved ones dying, body parts falling off, my husband either cheating on me or leaving me, or something bad happening to me! Does not make for a very restful night sleep and always exhausted when I wake up. I recently had to go off the protocol for some testing, and the nightmares and my symptoms intensified. Been back on the protocol for about 2 weeks now and some nights are better than others, but can't wait for the day when I don't have the negative thoughts and nightmares! I think a while back Dr. B used to write on the forums and she had posted something about the liver and dreams. I think I searched 'liver' and one of the posts was about dreams. This treatment has definitely made me want to learn more, I find all this very fascinating!
I do hope that a break from your job helps with improving your health and having to deal with less stress!:) Wish I could do the same!
Sorry for rambling on, but just wanted to let you know you are not alone in the nightmare and negative thought department! In time I hope this improves for all of us!:) Take care!
This is so cool... I was
This is so cool...
I was searching for dreams and I found this post:
http://icama.org/forum/dr-brizmans-protocol/2008/08/07/feeling-psychotic-probiotics
"Bad Dreams
I have noticed that bad dreams occur under two circumstances. 1) When the bacterial or fungal count is too high in the body, or 2) when that those counts are getting reduced through die-off it can also be intense. Interestingly, the worst I ever noticed it was in my own body early this year when I had pneumonia. I had super high fever, and raging nightmares along with all of my lung symptoms. In Chinese medicine, we correlate different kinds of emotions and dreams with different organ systems. The liver and kidneys are two organs that become affected by the microbial balance being too high bc it puts a higher load on these organs of filtration. The liver is associated with anger and the kidneys, fear. If you put these emotions together, it is not difficult to connect how you can get nightmares. The "Shen" is said to become affected by these kinds of inflammatory disturbances causing a lot of heat in the body as happens with infection--both chronic and acute. This affect causes emotional reactions and disturbances. As the infection that I had earlier this year went down, so did my nightmares. When the infection was gone--so were my nightmares.This experience was interesting even for me bc it was so black and white.
Dr.B"
Yes!
Yes, this is the post I was referring to. Very cool!
Thanks for the feedback.....
Thanks for the feedback..... I also searched the word "fear" and a lot of posts came up that really helped me out. It seems like this treatment is a very emotional one. Everything that I fear is trying to creep into my mind and scare me. From reading posts in the past it does seem normal, so that is good to know.
I think that this leave from work is helping me out a lot. My Boss who has her own mental problems, would have mental breakdowns on me like 5 times a day. She would be constantly complainingg to me about work, and her personal life. And she would be bipolar on me, she would love me for a few days, then hate me for a few days. She would tell me the most demeaning things, and give me dirty looks. She would take advantage of me because I just wouldn't say anything. Before I could handle it, but now with my own emotions being all out of whack, I couldn't handle it. I was about to have a mental breakdown on her. It would not have been pretty. So I felt the best thing for the sake of not blowing up on her would be to take a break. That way I can reevaluate if I can do this job anymore. I almost quit on the spot, but I am glad I didn't because I can see that my emotional state is really what is affecting me right now. I am going to take this week to think about what it is I am going to do before I make a decision on whether to go back, or get another job.
This break is also helping me emotionally because I have more time to read some books that I just have not had any time to. I haven't finished Dr. B's dissertation yet. I want to start reading the web has no weaver, and I have so much more sitting in my book shelf that I just want to get into. It's also nice to have more time to cook for myself. I feel like my food tastes much better when I am not rushing.
Oh and the last 2 nights I actually had good dreams!!! Yay!
I would agree that this
I would agree that this treatment is very emotional. I often find myself defending my decision, which can be very draining in itself. This site is wonderful though, having the ability to communicate with others going through similar things. It is so hard feeling so isolated, increasing my fear.
Yes, it sounds like your boss is not in a good place herself, and I too would find this difficult to be around. I do hope being away from this will help your body heal!:) So glad to hear you had good dreams. Hope this continues for you!
So glad you are able to take
So glad you are able to take this time for yourslef. It will surely help!! I find it very difficult to be around people who are highly negative or confrontational right now. But i can usually make an excuse to avoid them. It is tough when it is your boss!!
Sweet dreams!
At about 4 months into
At about 4 months into treatment I started having dreams. They were so real that when I would wake up I really felt as if I experienced what had happened. My dreams were extremely frightening because there was death in them of family members. I was always interested in dreams and looked up the meaning of specific parts of the dream that stayed with me. What happened in the dreams is not representative of what they mean. What my dreams were about is my fear. I believe they are part of the body healing - making one face the negative energy and deal with it or come to a peace with it and move on. I have never felt such strangeness within me - but it has so far come out of me and I feel this is good because what has been coming out is part of what has been keeping so sick. I hope this helps you. I am just 5 months into treatment and have not had a dream again.