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I feel early low today. Tomorrow is a year and I am obsessed 24/7 about my knees and my quality of life and what to do to get them better.
Dr. B told me today that she KNOWS that they will get better but I can't internalize that very well. I feel slammed by the impact of this 6 months of limited mobility and I AM NOT in acceptance. I keep reeling from the shock of all that I can't do that I used to be able to do and I keep focusing on what this might mean for the future. It seems as if it has been a long time since I have laughed really hard or been happy and I know how long it has been: I had a brief remission for a week for reasons that I can't figure out. That week- about a month or so ago I was over the moon.
that's it for now. I know that I need to keep my spirits up and appreciate that I can eat off list 4 and 5 but I am not able to tap into that right now- which is, of course, part of my problem.
So sorry you are feeling down
So sorry you are feeling down! It will get better, it has too! Keep that chin up lady! Thinking of you!
I am 16 months into treatment
I am 16 months into treatment and still am quite symptomatic with things.
What helps me is to think back 16 months ago. I am so much better than I was when I started. No - I am not where I want to be which is pain free. I am still on list 1 with some veggies and quinoa from list 2.
When I let my mind surge ahead and focus on where I am not at I fall hard. I get depressed and start moving backwards. I believe I will continue to get better and it has nothing to do with what I want or how sad I get. My body will heal on its own time.
I believe this treatment works because I am better. I know if I didn't start this treatment I would be disabled by now.
Nothing has been more difficult for me to let go of what I cannot control and trust in myself and Dr. Brizman.
I feel what your saying - I know the despair. We are not alone. I am having a tough weekend mentally. I am going into my third week out of work because of back pain. I tried one session of acupunture and one physical therapy for it and it sent me into major flares. So, just resting and the back is getting better.
I am trying to forget about the time - the time that has gone - to not equate my healing to a timeline.
Thanks for posting and sharing
Breis
You are so right. Thank you
You are so right. Thank you for reminding me about all of that.