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Hi ladies,
Hope you are all doing well today. I dont get a chance to come here too often but this has been weighig on my mind quite alot. I'm close to 2 years seeing Dr B and the painful sex remains. Not that we have tried too often because the pain is so fearful BUT I'm wondering if anyone who has started with vulvodynia/painful sex during and after can share any words of encouragement. I feel like this is my fate and I will never be able to fully enjoy it? Not to shell out TMI but when we do try, I am extremely dry that its so uncomfortable even to penetrate and I freak out that I will be in pain. Its that bad! Im so frustrated with this and it has caused a major friction in my marriage. I'll take any advice, words of encouragement.
Aside from that, I have been doing well. I've had the best month of treatment, well, up until a few days ago. But I'll take those three weeks of no pain.
Have you tried the sexual
Have you tried the sexual lubricant by bomamed? I am no where near having intercourse but have used the lubricant for other attempts at sex and found it to be very lubricating. Also great for dried skin on feet!!
Breis
To me the dryness indicates
To me the dryness indicates hormone imbalance. It happened to me when I was breast feeding. There are some pretty powerful herbs out there that can help with dryness and help you use your estrogen better by balancing your cortisol/stress levels but the herbs take time to work as they work deeply. im completely sure dr. b. is on it 100%. stress makes women dry so working on that daily is key. and as you know time is on your side. Also yogurt internally helps rebuild the flora and therefore can sometimes help with dryness. I would recommend if its ok with dr b that you do a visualization every day of how you want it to be like and literally visualizing water flowing in your pelvis. also perhaps working a little bit sexually on your own to reclaim that in your life. And speaking frankly, perhaps you can do more fun foreplay external things? I find that things can be forgiving sexually if you do fun things like wearing nice things to bed, and make it all about him, you be the leader. Men like their women to act sexy which is hard to do when we arent feeling so sexy but even laughing about it like as though your trying can be fun. the only way weve been able to stay connected is to be less serious about it all which is easier said than done but with time it works. I had a client once with the same issues. There are certain manipulations one can do on the sacrum and pelvic floor. Perhaps dr.b. would approve physical therapy? my client too Made it fun, in their case used toys (allowed by dr b?) made it about the outside instead of penetration. Committed to touch every day for 18 days. The ideal is 40 days even if its a foot rub. Things slowly started to change and they felt like teenagers again. More connected. Counseling also helped them in their case remove any other resentments.
Hope this helps. I feel like I should make the same commitment to 18 days. With this condition it is so easy to avoid it. I don't have pain but orgasm triggers a bit of prolapse in me. My husband is loving and supportive but I know he is suffering. He makes it easy for me to avoid it which also isn't good.
Hold heart sister...sex is a tough subject. But sexually we can find contact on many different levels.
hope this helps.
with a humble heart,
Carey
p.s. so are we allowed toys?
I am just over two years into
I am just over two years into treatment, and I recently tried light intercourse, but it caused increased irritation and pain vaginally and in my bladder. I am going to wait a while before I try again. My husband and I do other things sexually that are gentle and don't cause increased pain for me. Orgasm used to cause me to go into a week long flare, but now I don't usually have any pain. Sometimes I have itching after, so I just put a little plain organic yogurt where the itching is, and it goes away.
This has been difficult for my husband, but he has actually gotten to a place where even though he might be disappointed, he is so loving toward me and accepts things the way they are. Even though it is taking a long time, I have had visible improvement and so we are hopeful that a year or two from now, I will be able to have intercourse. That will be a wonderful day!
Keep up the good work and share everything with Dr. B. This too shall pass, and things will get better. 9 months ago, I couldn't even imagine having an orgasm without pain, and now it is so wonderful that I can. I am so grateful.
Hi Ladies,
Hi Ladies,
THANK YOU for being so candid and so extremely supportive, this info has been definately helpful. Its been great to know I'm not alone at this when I feel like I am and cant talk about it freely with others aside from this forum. I have been sick with intestinal inflammation all week but I hopeful today will be better as she changed up my herbs. anyhow, I have never heard of visualation, but I will definately ask Dr B next week what she thinks! I hope are doing well.
Adrianne
Adrianne
Did you say you HAVE tried the Bomasense lubricant? It really should help the dryness.
If we don't excel at health, the only other option is disease.