I am sorry that you are having a difficult time and confused about whether this is the right treatment for you and only time will tell.  One thing that I do believe is that if Matia felt that she could not help you I think she would tell you and not waist your time.  I know that she can't make any guarantees but I don't think she would waist your time or any of our time.  It would surely be nice if we knew that if we followed a certain path we could see the end result and then we would know if we are on the right track.  I have been in treatment since May of this year and I too have felt the way you do but as time goes on and I have little improvements I gain more and more faith.  I am so proud of the changes I have made and enjoy hearing compliments from others about how hard I am working.  In the beginning I did have increases in some symptoms in the bladder but now months later I look back and I for sure have improved not to a point that I am totally comfortable with but as long as I continue to have improvements I know that I am on the right path.  I don't know what you have tried before but I hope that you will find this to be a supportive environment and it will help you to stick to the program and I am sure that you too like others on this site will have a beautiful baby.  I don't know if you were part of the Saturday support group but there was someone on there that had tried to get pregnant and she finally did.  Hearing from those people will I am sure be helpful for you.  I wish you all the best.

One thing I have begun to notice about this process is that my  body has become incredibly senstive-  I am very aware  of the minute changes transpriring because I am always searching for clues of changes/progress. This awareness has been crucial to my getting better even though the sensitivity is hard to deal with as well when it hurts. But the awareness of the changes that have taken place with the treatment  give me hope and trust that I am moving forward.   My syntomns have improved  and shifted which means that my body is getting stronger after 6 months of treatment but I still have times when I feel I am again suffering with some pain and discomfort after a few days or weeks of feeling pretty good.  I have times where my bladder feels better and my vuvladynia is worse and vice versa. It is soooo hard and so disheartening to deal with. on the other hand I can't wallow in a  despairing feeling like I used to and  say to myself out of wanting to prepare for this  endless  painful austerity life state of- "nothing is changing- I'm never going to get better" at this point I cannot deny that changes and prgoress have happened after I was absolutely sure for the first 3 months that nothing was ever going to change.   I would read success stories and go- what if I'm different and don't get better? "my story isn't exactly like thiers so I won't get better." But then I do get better and so will you.Why did I think I was special - an exception to the rule? I think it is simply fear. maybe deep down I didn't feel worthy of getting better?   or I found it hard to beleive after being told IC is incurable by"medical experts" that I could be well again? like I needed permission?   Pain has a way of tramautizing/twisting/limiting our minds and therefore our ability to heal.   You want to escape  from the pain which is so constant and relentless but you can't. so we tell ourselves - almost to survive- if we cantt feel better permanently then its like okay maybe its more predictable to feel pain/sickness as a constant sentence. at least we know for sure that its here to stay. and maybe my body internalized that- hey-I'm going to feel this way forever because then I don't have to get my hopes dashed again and again. but my IC/Vulvadynia for me has been cyclical. my body still struggled to balence itself when I had "good cycles".  Its the cycles that make me feel most  anxious and crazy. but all that evens out. gets calmer.the spaces between flares get bigger. the "good days" become more frequent. that has been my experience so far. I guess I'm still in a the stage of  cleansing- cause I do get bad days- but they don't have the same power over me. I have experienced enough good days to know that more are coming. That gives me strenght to continue working hard.   My thoughts are that the flares I get are reactions to the probiotics/and the new stages of dieoff that the added probiotcs are bringing. sometimes its the body reacting to a medicine its not quite ready for - or it is ready for it and themicrobes or whatever are like noooooooooo we don't want to die- blaaargh! and that causes pain/discomfort or inflammation is still in the body and it takes time to bring that down. or hormones are causing the flares. - we just have to endure it best we can or back off until we are ready to try again. I've had to half medications/herbs and start over until it was tolerated better.  I have been struggling with my health for 10 years or more so I am ready to be better like NOW but that is not realistic. It took me years and years of ignorant choices to get here and now I am slowly untangling the mess. Signs that you are on the right track will emerge with time- because doing good things for your body like what we are doing has to produce a postiive result. It has to. Eventually we get better. even people who have been in treatment with Matia for years are getting better and they too will be well and balenced in time.   that kind of impact supports in assiting the body to rebalence itself.  When? Its different for everyone but you won't be feeling like you are now- all the time- the whole ride to wellness. Relax as much as you can -You are still early in treatment !  Matia has had to change formulas for me many times its kind of expected because our situation on our body can change rapidly and that communication with her is letting her know how to proceed. It occured to me the other day that the different sensations/flares while uncomofortable are really telling the story/painting a picture of the unique case of my IC for Matia so I try to note everything. write down your pains- descibe them. this helped me feel more incontrol of my body and helped me see week to week that it was getting better. these descriptions seem to give her cues as to what is happening and what needs to be done next as well as give  education /research/diverity on the sytomns possible for other patients similiar to us. I will tell her about something that is happening to me thinkign it is werid or not important and she will say -oh yeah I have heard of that happening- thanks for telling me.  My vuvladynia is not as intense as it once was-it is better but I  also notice my tolerence for pain has gone down. that is difficult. my pain used to be like an 8 and now when its uncomfortble it's a 5 - I can tell the pain is at a lower level but my threshold is lower too- does that make sense? I think in a few months it will be lower and then in few months more lower until the pain is not there anymore. Our systems are dealing with soo many toxins at one time- so patience is just necessary in draining them out. Maybe our bodies work on some things in pieces until they can handle more which is why somtimes one issue or another is highlighted back and forth?  As your body is rebalenced /strengthened including your repoductive system then a healthy vibrant pregnancy can happen. It is hard to wait but it will be worth it! May your feel better really soon. peace be with you. Hope this helps!Mary

I literally just started with Matia, and while I'm a little younger than you (almost 30), my husband & I were just going to start trying for a baby (until a massive flare made me realize that's not in my near future and I've got to lick this thing once and for all)... So I empathize completely with your comments on that, as well as echo everything else you said about the fears of treatment not working, taking forever, etc.  Esp. in light of my already spending years and sooo much $$ on other practitioners, incl. alternative ones, plus $$ on their tests, pills, etc.
Until now, I too have stayed away from forums/support groups because I didn't want to feel more scared/hopeless, but I feel I've got to reach out now, plus like you said I just don't think anyone else but an IC'er can completely understand.  I wanted to write you since we seem at similar points in life and in treatment, and I'd like to meet others who are close to where I'm at for support, comparing notes, etc.  (I'm also thinking of going to the group meeting in Jan.)

I'm so glad to hear that you made it out to see Matia. I made the trip with my daughter on 10/28. We are both in treatment. Things are going well. I had a very bumpy start. We had to make some adjustments. Then I got a UTI. Matia got me through it. It seemed like my situation was changing hour to hour day to day. I took some herbs to get over the UTI and they worked great. I was terrified to take anymore antibiotics. I trusted Matia and it was the right choice. Having bad days after feeling better is hard, especially for those of us just starting out. I just keep reminding myself about all of the many success stories you find here. The begining is hard and the progress is often slow but we will get there! You are on the right path. We are all here for each other. Something that has helped me a lot is having email friendships with some of the women on this site. We have all started treatment together and are going through the same experiences. I think it is wise to get yourself well before starting to have children. I had my first child at age 38 and my second at 42. You have time. I really think that treatment with Matia will make it easier for you to conceive. Get yourself well and the babies will come. Tammy

I totally understand EVERYTHING you are talking about. I am almost 35 and  have been in treatment with Matia for 3 1/2 years. I am SO MUCH BETTER thanwhen I started but I still have a little way to go before I will try for a baby. (Matia says I have just a few months maybe). But believe me, I am SO SCARED that it will be too late by the time I am ready to try. BUT I dont dwell on that too much. What I DO think about is how much better I feel and live now. I simply am amazed at how much I recovered from the day I started working with Matia. I never thought I wouldfeel as good as I feel now - so that gives me hope that everything will work out.The changes that I have made in my life (and in my husband's too) b/cof working with Matia and battling IC have made our lives so much healthier and better and happier. I hate when people say this but I think it's true forme...there was a reason I got "hit" with IC. There is no way I would have ever changed my lifestyle if not for the pain of IC. And now knowing what I know, I KNOW that I would have most certainly gotten some other horrible disease even if I hadn't gotten IC just because of the way I was eating/drinking/living. So if IC was the only way that I would change my life, so be it. I am a completely changed person in many ways that, if nothing else, will make me a far better mother than if I hadn't gotten IC. So I keep the hope and I keep going and keep trying to stay away from sugar and look forward to the future now :) Don't get too discouraged by flare ups and feeling bad after feeling good. If you follow what Matia suggests, you will eventually have more good days than bad and when you do have a bad day, you will KNOW that there are more good days ahead.We're all there with you so don't feel alone:)

I had my kids before I started treatment with Matia and the sad thing is that I passed along my imbalances to my kids, especially my son. I came down with full blown IC when my kids were 5 and didn't realize that a lot of what was going on with my son was related in any way to my IC. It didn't hit me until I was over 3 years into treatment and he was 8 years old. The good news is that Matia has been able to help him so much, but had I been healthy during my pregnancy neither of my kids would have to be dealing with any of this. I know it's so hard to wait, but there is a tremendous benefit to waiting until your body is more balanced.
I had terrible vulvodynia when I first started with Matia, every afternoon and evening I would be on fire and had ice packs as a constant companion. The first few months are so up and down, and it is hard to know what is a good reaction and what is a bad reaction. Throw in the fact that your hormone levels are always changing and it's hard to know what's going on. I would notice that I would often feel better soon after making a change and then within a day or 2 I would have some kind of symptom increase. Often it would take me a couple of weeks to feel balanced again. My vulvodynia still crops up here and there, but it's not that I'm on fire kind of feeling, it's just a mild discomfort and doesn't ruin my day. Yours will go away! Keeping a journal helped me so that I could look back and see that I was making progress. When I was feeling bad it was hard to remember those improvements. Conversely when I am feeling good my IC is a million miles away from my thoughts. You'll get there.
carol

hello everyone. im new to the whole ic thing. to be honest im not even sure if i have it, but i feel theres a def possibility that this is where my pain is coming from. im 21 years old so im just really scared and worried and want to seek help asap. im considering going to see matia and would like some feedback from those of you who have had a positive experience and ur advice. if you could give me ur email address to help me out that would be wonderful and much appreciative. my email is candy_babe23@hotmail.com.