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so, i've had babies on the brain a lot lately. my three year wedding anniversary is coming up this month, as well as 6 months with Matia, and then my birthday next month (35!!!) along with my sister's delivery of her third baby. anyway, as i've said in previous posts, my husband and i were going to start trying for kids last year, but when i went off the pill my physical issues just kind of progressively seemed to get more volatile until i just sort of crashed and then found matia. well, at our initial meeting, she had said i should probably wait a year before trying to get pregnant, so i could get my body back in balance. but at 5.5 months in, i feel i am nowhere near "healed" so i can't help but think, "how in the world am i going to be ready to start trying in 6 more months time?" well, i obviously hope that i will be feeling MUCH better in the coming months, but, at this point, i certainly can't count on being 100% at the year mark. the thing is, given my age and both my husband's and my lifelong desires for a big family, i don't know that we can wait much more than the year mark to at least start trying.
so, i was wondering... for those of you who have gotten pregnant during/after being under matia's care, did you have to wait til you were 100% to start trying? if not, were you able to continue treatment while pregnant? and were you able to continue improving even while pregnant?
i know i should try not to worry about all this and just focus on getting better, but everything around me is a constant reminder of how badly i want a family and how sad i feel that it's not an option right now. with the ups and downs i still have, i could not be a good mother, so i know it's best to wait. but wondering how long the wait needs to be...
I know how it feels
I know how it feels to postpone the desire for a family, my boyfriend and I had already been trying to get pregnant for 2.5 years before I started treatment with Matia.When my health problems started to get worse, I realized that I first have to try to get better because it would certainly not be the right time to have a baby.At the moment my health is the most important but it's difficult if you have such a strong desire to have a child, because you cannot predict when you will feel ready again. I really hope that you will continue to improve and that you will soon feel much better.
Oh, wait, wait, wait! When I
Oh, wait, wait, wait! When I started with Matia in Dec 2004, I was exactly at the same place as you are right now. My weddings was 2 weeks after I started the treatment, we tried to conceive for 6 months before I got really, really sick, obviously without any success. I also was very anxious to keep trying to get pregnant because I was turning 34. Matia asked me to wait for at least a year, she absolutely assured me that once my body is healthy and balanced I will conceive with the first attempt. She was absolutely right!I got pregnant in July 2007 after trying for only 1 month. My baby just turned 1 year. Matia guided me through my preganancy as much as she could and, thanks to her, my baby was born completely healthy. I don't really know if you can work on getting better while pregnant because your hormones are insane and the strain on your body is pretty bad, but she will make it as tolerable for you as possible. But I still say WAIT till you you definitely know that you are much, much better for some time, for me it was about 6 months of no symptoms. Of course, everyone is different.All the best, Natasha.
Even if you can wait 1 more year...
I know it already feels like forever, but the way I look at it, if I wait one more year, the difference my better health will make for me AND for baby have to be MUCH huger than the difference of being just one year older fertility-wise. Esp. if you're worried about fertility, one could argue that you'll have an easier time getting pregnant being older & healthier/balanced than younger & unhealthy/unbalanced. And your ability to care for the child will be infinitely better once you're in a better place physically.
I SO feel your pain. This is where I'm at too -- my husband & I were starting to try when I got really sick, and I'm surrounded by all my cousins & friends with babies, baby showers, baby namings, baby strollers, you name it. I'm the only one left - left out and left behind. Sometimes I fall into bitterness or deep sadness, esp. in the grocery store! where everyone around me seems to be a young mom with baby (I even started crying once in the bread aisle!). But I've decided that as much as it sucks and is not what I wanted, I need to wait, and honestly I would say this even if I were a couple years older like you.
Also, I've tried to make the most of this time -- thinking how I'm getting an extra year or two of precious alone time w/ my husband while my friends struggle to find any time for themselves or their relationship and most of their conversations revolve around poop! Of course, w/ the IC pain and this treatment it's not "ideal" alone time, as we're not having sex, not galavanting all over Europe, not going out to dinners much, etc. BUT it still counts, and it is still special time of just us two to treasure and appreciate. I've also considered that I can spend the next year or two just "in waiting" to be able to have kids, or make the most of this time, further my self, my learning, my career, and taking time to just relax and heal (which again would not be much option if you had to care for children).
Of course I'm sure Matia (and all of us) will support you in whatever you decide, but truly, gathering from all I've read, from what Matia's said, and from others' comments over time, I think you will look back and be SO happy you waited. Still, my heart goes out to you & all of us -- this disease robs us of so much, it is esp. sad that it has to be this too, and the not-knowing-how-much-longer waiting game is so hard.
One more thing I forgot to
One more thing I forgot to mention. When I was going crazy with anxiety about the decline in fertility, Matia said something that for some reason immediately put my worries to rest, she said: "healthy body does what is it is supposed to do much longer".
definitely hear what you guys
definitely hear what you guys are saying and am trying to take it day by day. like you lisa, i try to focus on the good things in my life now... the things so many of my friends with kids talk about missing. but my heart just feels so heavy. i did talk to matia and she explained that she has worked with a lot of women through pregnancy, so it's possible. she thought that in the next 6 months we would have a better sense of things, of where i'm at and what might be feasible timing to at least start trying. she made me feel a bit more at ease, but of course, i would love to be 100% before i go down that road. man, i hate this. i hate having to worry about all this, i hate feeling trapped in my body, feeling held back from life. sorry for the mini-venting. as you may have guessed from my tone, i'm in the middle of a flare again. been feeling crappy since getting back from vacation but the recent regimen changes seem to have made me feel worse the last few days. so, needless to say, back to feeling hopeless and pissed off. but, as always, i find comfort in your words and am trying to stay positive. these past (almost) 6 months have been so up and down... i mean literally i can't ever predict what i will feel like from one moment to the next. i just hope the next 6 months are better than these last 6. here's to CONSISTENTLY better days ahead.