Ballerine sorry to hear that you are having a difficult time.  I know that it can be concerning and frustrating to fel like you are not making progress.  I too hav had times that I have felt this way.  I have beenin treatment for just over 14 months and have had times recently that I at times felt that it will never end and sometimes feeling worse which can realy be frightening.  The last month I finally feel that I have made a lot of progress.  I have not had any burning for about three weeks and have been getting up at night less.  I have been able to do things that I thought would be impossible.  My husband can't stop me from going, going, going....... I feel like I have been released from jail and want to experience everything again.  I am for sure not out of the woods and have a ways to go with foods too.  I also have  surgery in the fall that frightens.  It is sure hard to tust your body again.  I still only will go for walks where there is a bathroom close by but it is progress that I have been able to even go for a walk.  This all just seemed to happen all of a sudden because as I said I was really having a struggle not too long ago.
 
Hang in there Ballerine and I am glad that you are back.  It can be a long road but it is possible to get better I am slowly starting to believe this.  I have always said it but not sure if I really believed it because it is hard to believe when you are struggling so much.

I have sent u an email.

I SO feel your frustration and pain.  I've been in treatment 8 months and have many of the same feelings as you.  It feels like a total rollercoaster - your word choice is spot on - which has you emotionally all over the place.  And while I may overall be better off than before, it's so hard to tell, and impossible for me to quantify / remember / compare pain levels along the way, or at least to trust my sense of improvement. Actually, fairly early on I got to a great point, but then I had a major regression it still seems I'm in (though probably it only feels like regression in terms of pain/external progress but all the while my body is cleansing and healing?). So I know all this can just make things depressing as hell sometimes, even if you try to keep up the best attitude. 
I wish I had more words of wisdom, but if nothing else I want you to know you're not in the boat alone, so to speak.  People say you'll get better but you don't really believe it until you see something tangible and significant. What I draw hope from is the many people for whom it really took a while, and sadly I may be one of those people.  But I look at how sick some people were, how long it took for them to have any pain improvement or any diet change, and how EVEN THEY got well.  And how if I can just be patient, it will happen for me.  Perhaps the cause of my illness is so cumulative, involves so much over so long, that it's unreasonable to expect anything huge, even at a year's mark.... but of course that's so difficult to swallow b/c with any other treatment if it wasn't working within a year, let alone a month, we'd be outta there, right?! ... and yet when it comes to cleansing and balancing your entire body it's a different story.
I can only imagine that it must feel extra lonely being so far away from Matia and the whole group (not that anyone in LA actually shows up to the groups, though!).  If you ever want to talk, I'm here. Don't let the great ocean divide stop you. You can email for my #.