Hey Erin,I can't say i've had any experience with tearing, so no help in that department (sorry!), but I want you to know that 6 months is still just the beginning. This treatment is a gradual process that requires a lot of patience and can often be confusing. I am almost a year into treatment now and I still have random flares that don't exactly connect to anything (in my own opinion), but I can say they are much shorter, less frequent, and less intense than in the beginning. Sometimes die-off can have the same exact symptoms as the IC itself! Matia doesn't want your bladder to suffer so I would always let her know if you're having a particularly bad flare and she can try and help you. One time about 4 months into treatment my bladder freaked and I was in tears, so upset because I felt like it was as bad as before I started any diet or treatment, but Matia just completely changed up my herbs and got it under control- it was time for something new. You are not alone in the depression/exhaustion/weight gain department. I suffered from all of those things (though not a ton weight gain, and at points some weight loss) and some of them felt like they'd never end. I could tell you in detail everything that happened that first year but will spare you and say that my then boyfriend probably would have considered me a lunatic had he not known what was going on. I would scream and cry, sleep any extra second I could, and still be a total tired wreck. It took a solid 8 months to get it under control and I still have random emotional breakdowns, they just aren't as insane. haha. As for headaches, I have been a migraine sufferer since I was 6 and these have been RELENTLESS for me in treatment. I think they are improving a little now, but they honestly got worse for so long. I had more of them at first and then the number of them decreased and the pain level increased. I started getting 1 or so a month right before my period that would literally be so horrible I would debate going to the ER. (they would last for days) I have been sick this past week and have had a horrible headache the whole time... I think that Matia says when you're stressed or whatnot it goes to your weakness, which for me is my headaches and could be for you too. Have faith that they will improve into the future. I know it's a lot to put up with and they can be so debilitating, I still struggle with this too.I wasn't diagnosed with IC (my IC came out of what seemed like nowhere... 2nd UTI ever in my life and it just never went away...), but I did research like you day and night when I wasn't sleeping at all and found Matia. I knew in my heart it was the only hope for well-being. And now, 1 year in, I still feel the same way. I think at first it can be really, really difficult to understand treatment because it's not a conventional way of looking at our body, it's not what we've been taught our entire lives by western medicine, but I promise you, it is better! I have learned an unbelievable amount and continue to every day. I actually LOVE the way I eat and feel so healthy (still excited for the day i get chocolate, spicy foods, etc. though!) The flares start to make more sense, things improve slowly but surely. You have to look at the little things that maybe have gotten better already. Sometimes they're hard to notice, but I bet you will be able to come up with some things. The first thing I noticed was better sleep and less trips to the bathroom at night. Eventually I started to sleep through the night without getting up. Now, my frequency during the day has decreased. My periods have finally become fairly regular and cramps aren't awful. Start looking for the small successes, and hopefully that will ease your mind a bit. I would put your faith in Matia to the best of your ability and not give up too soon. There are so many elements to treatment, and the body/mind/spirit takes a long time to heal. I always tell myself, well, it took me a decade to get this sick, it's not going to be quick or easy to become well. I think it's a matter of keeping perspective, and realizing this is not western medicine, so it is not a quick fix. Quick fixes are an illusion, and this is complete healing. Also, have you told Matia about the tears? If not you definitely should.Peace and LoveWhitney 

I am so sorry you are in a rough spot.  My heart goes out to you big time.  I have not had sex in over two months now, because the last couple times it burned big time right at the opening and felt like there was a tear, although there was no visible tear.  And it caused a flare in my bladder, and before  treatment that never happened to me.  So, I would say I am regressing as well in some areas, 4 months in.  BUT, I have also done much research and tried the antibiotic route, and lots of different diets, and to heal myself and nothing else helped.  Although this is not helping my bladder yet, I do see other little things that are changing, and I know my body  is doing something.  I almost have a BM every day now, where before I was lucky if it was once every 3 or 4 days.  I have more energy, I don't need naps in the afternoon, and I am finally understanding my flares and what causes them, hence staying away from things that do.   I know when herbs need a change, they will cause a flare, and when I am ovulating it is bad.  I do not suffer from vaginal symptoms as long as I stay away from sex.  I have heard of what you are talking about though and it does sound like vulvodynia.  I was only diagnosed from a questionaire from the urologist with IC.   I have no doubt I will get better with Matia, but that does not make me stop wondering, could I be  the one that does not get better?  I am told 4 months is just the begining, but I was under the impression it would only take a year from other sites I read about this practice.  So, I was not happy to realize it will take longer than I though.  My emotions are ALL over the place as well, anger comes out of nowhere and the fear can be ooverwhelming.  But, I know there is no other hope for us to get 100% back to balance.  Everything else is just masking the issue while it gets worse.  At least with this treatment, we are in pain with hope.  Where as without it we are in pain with no hope of change.  Just a few days ago my husband and I were crying together over this nightmare and I am so sick of the guilt I feel over not being who I want and should be for my family and friends.  This disease is TERRIBLE, there is no way around it.  BUT, WE WILL GET BETTER.  Just stick with it.  You have come this far, you can go a ways more..

I wanted to respond to this yesterday but didn't get a chance until now- I wanted to acknowledge and give respect to you for bringing up this issue since the topic of VV ( Vulvadynia) can be so personal. It's not graphic and I bet your words and thoughts and openess helped someone realize they are not alone in dealing with this problem. I cannot say that I myself have the tearing( maybe I did but didn't know it? )I do know that glass under your skin feeling you speak of!  but I just went online to check it out- literally just typed in "vaginal tearing" and I saw that it was SUPER common. This was on like western medicine forums BTW. Guess what else? ALLLLLLL the ladies who were suffering from tearing who at first thought it was herpes ( it is not the same thing) were baffled and upset. The majority of them mentioned yeast infections. Then a lady posted about systemic candida as being the culprit behind these issues. So sad because these ladies were given steroids and premarin as treatments and just sent home to cry and wonder why these things weren't working for them. I have vuvladynia and IC. I have been in treatment for about 22 months now. I have slowly improved - my bladder is better. About one year into treatment as my bladder got better I seemed to feel the vulvadynia more and more and I am not sure if it was that the vv was "worse" or if it was always bad but the pain of my bladder which was very high was kind of overshadowing the VV? In any event I was totally devastated to be a over a year into treatment and have my vagina, pelvic floor and vuvla hurt more than ever. I had days where it felt better and days where it was AWEFUL and my sexlife and sexuality was just destroyed. I mean this sacred and holy most sensitive part of your body is sick and painful. It just is so hard to reconcile that. It messed with my self esteem so hard! You are right -  people are possibly dealing with worse situations healthwise but you have to consider that truly everyone thinks and says the same thing especially in the beginning- this isn't going to work for me. This is our greatest fear. or that if it does start to work for you that it will stop or reverse. But that's not true. If you follow the proticol and aren't cheating and give it enough time you will see improvement. and there is no limitations on improvement. You are effecting some very powerful and very deep changes in your body but it has to take time and it doesn't always have to feel worse before it gets better but there are times when it totally can and your symptoms - tearing etc can become exacerabated and riled up... ( the worse times aren't 24/7 the whole healing time) This treatment is very strict - you don't even have to beleive in it for it to work. You cannot do such positive things for you body and have it not work.  You aren't seeing the positive changes you want because you have only been in treatment for 6 months. That is just not enough time. I went a year into treatment and then the VV got worse and then it started to feel better ( like recently for me)  in my opinion "early treatment" lasts a very long time for many of us. VV is turning out to be the symptom that is taking the longest time to get better in my body but it is gettng better. Matia seems totally confident that the VV will go away when my GI tract is in better shape and balenced. We are getting there. I am still struggling with keeping my bowels regular ( its better somewhat) but still out of wack but we have managed to bring down alot of inflammation in both my bladder and VV. So I expect it to keep getting better and better and better. I can't have sex yet but it doesn't hurt to sit or wear underwear anymore and it used to hurt when I applied pressure to my vuvla and now it doesn't. My pelvic floor muscles are a bit sore still if I press deeply on them but I can tell in patchy places that the pain is just less. so yes. it is happening - not quick enough for me but its happening! My VV used to just throb alone and feel bad even without any touch or pressure. Orgasms or any sexual pleasure would send me into a flare for hours afterwards from nerve endings being oversentized. My nerves seemed programmed to read any sensation- whether good or bad as pain- but it is different now- that doesn't happen and sorry to be graphic- but another way tha tI know I am improving in the VV is that my nerves capacity for reception of pleasure is well its just really um... bigger? In other words um... my ability to receive pleasure - the quality of that pleasure is really much higher. As though before- like before before I developed VV it wasn't that good!  But it is improving overall and I can't deny that.  just know that you and to anyone else out there who thinks that they are "the exception" that its not true. It's your anxiety/fears trying to protect you from a potential disapointment of failure. I'm sure many of us tried more than a few quick fixes/treatments before Matia and failed and surely this will too? Nope. Not this time. Others have reached the other side to becoming symptom free and we will too. Do not give up! Understand that the fog and depressed state you are feeling is partly biological too- that will get much much better too. You'll have more strength and hope. This is the hard time. BTW- I've never been officially diagnoses with IC either and it doesn't matter- I know for myself something was wrong with my body and sought to change it. I have never regretted this choice- not once even though it is the hardest most challenging thing I have ever done. Keep in mind that whatever issues and struggles are coming up- they will change they will shift. Winter always turns into spring- this is the natural cycle of life and we are playing out that cyclical change too- moving from a kind of death/decay/darkness into a transformation- of new life and a rebirth of health. Just keep moving forward- you don't have to have a sunny attitude about it all- that will come naturally in time as well. Just nourish yourself and give it all you have so one day you can  take the time to encourage someone else with your success. peace and healing light be with you Mary 

Going into this 1+ year ago, my expectations were off.  I agree with what others have noted, that in different places it's alluded to that treatment lasts a year or so... in reality at least for those of us on ICAMA the first year seems to only be the beginning stage.... if someone would've told me that sooner, at least I would've had more realistic expectations and not been as impatient, frustrated and angry.
So my point is, if you see & accept that it may take a long time to heal completely (and given the years it took for disease to manifest that's understandable), it helps put things into perspective.  When I feel I'm regressing yet again, or can't even measure now how much better I am compared to before, I hold onto the little improvements (mostly not even in my bladder! oh well) that show me my body is slowly slowly turning around. I also think about "at least I have a chance."  Most people walking around with chronic illnesses termed incurable by Western medicine have to deal with it for LIFE. I've actually got a chance at living pain-free the rest of my days, and that would be a miracle really. Even if it takes five years, heck ten years (though I don't think any of her patients go that long), it's better than a lifetime with this dreaded uninvited "house"guest that won't leave.  
(Of course, I think these things on my good days. On my bad days, sometimes a different story, LOL.)
I think we all struggle with the depression, anxiety, exhaustion, etc. (even if not on a clinical level) at various points.... don't assume because you see a post or listen to someone talking you know what's really going on in their internal world.  This disease & treatment ROCKS YOUR WORLD... things are bound to get shaken, turned upside down and tripped over, and you would be superhuman to walk away from all that without some physical & emotional bruising.
As far as if Matia's program is the right path for you.... speaking only for myself, when I step out of my righteous anger at this treatment's snail pace, I remember that I really don't have any other choice anyway.  I'd tried most of what Western medicine had to offer and it made me even worse.  What I didn't try I've read mutlple stories on here of people who did and ended up worse off in the end.  I believe in this Chinese/alternative medicine approach to wellness, even if I curse it in the same breath, and so I know that anything Western I'd do -- even if it did give me some relief -- would only be a coverup and drive the illness further inside me, which I'd pay for later.  So really, what choice do I have?!
 

What Erin & Melvensen said about Matia telling them it would probably take them a year.... She said probably a year for me too!!....  Which makes me wonder how many others got much shorter time frame projections and are now slowly finding out it won't be anything close... never mind the ICAMA treatment page says "For some severe cases, it can last up to a year or more, while in others it can be almost minimal" ..... This all seems very misleading, unless we on here are the lone wolves plagued with really slow-to-heal bodies/seriously toxic histories, and/or we only represent a very small % of her patients, which she says often but how many can she possibly see in total?
I wonder if there's a way for this to be delicately broached on a support call?  Like how many patients are actually almost all well in a year?  Can we hold to any relative time frame projection at all?

I will try to get up the nerve to ask her next time.
Melissa -- You bring up another good point... I too totally freaked out early in my treatment days as I started reading more and more posts of people who it's taking not just 2 years but multiple years.... it seemed to be more the rule than the exception... I would never say Matia is deceptive (I am eternally grateful to her and I believe she gives more than her all to us all) but I personally felt deceived... that word sounds bad but it's closest to my experience. 
And in the very least, aside from deflating our emotions or resolve, not having a more accurate understanding of how long this treatment takes is a relevant issue for people with less funds who are considering it in the beginning... like if you go in thinking "Ok, I'll try this for a year, and that's all the money I have"... and then it ends up it's several more years and you're out of money, what do you do?

I was not at all attacking Matia.  I was giving my honest opinion of how I feel.  I did read on two different sites that she wrote that is takes a year at most generally before I started treatment.  At our appointment, she said at least a year for me. I took this as meaning maybe a year and a half (because of what I read), then when I started and saw all these people who had been on here for multiple years I freaked out, because I thought the general rule was around year.  I realize, it could be a year for most people, and the only people who are on this site after that time are on here because they are not well yet.  For my finances, and when talking about entering treatment with my husband, we were lead to believe it would take around a year.  I just wish I knew before that it make take several years, so I was prepared mentally.  So, I was venting my frusteration.  The one reason I do not like these kind of sites is because you are not able to hear my tone of voice, and it may seem attacking when read. I hope I did not cause any stress for someone when I wrote that.  I am very greatful for you all, and I am in no place to create more stress for anyone by what my posts say.  

Thanks for the clarification- I completely feel you and where you are coming from 100% and I share your frustrations. Ok- I didn't really think yall were coming down on Matia as a specific target or anything-but wanted to present maybe an extended context of why she could have made that sort of error of judgement and also sort of make sure this thread wasn't headed in a direction of misunderstanding to others reading it.  Thank you for breaking it down more- I understand more of the story for you both now I can empathize even more so totally with your frustrations. Time as a concept  has become a very difficult warped thing to wrap my brain around- my whole life is trapped by this condition. I have to really try to live in the moment and not keep staving off my life to... "when I'm better next year I'll do this really cool thing I want to do." It can really really mess with your head when your exciting future is put off in these indefinite uncertain terms of time especially when that time frame anniversary comes up and you are not there yet.I could... on a bad day filled with anger and self pity feel like - I'm serving a period of time in a prison and when my parole date comes up its yet again set forward at an unknowable date in the future.- that can make you insane to think of it like that and its probably a dramatic and or possibly insulting/patronizing comparison but you know how it goes on emotional days. In the most non- judgemental way we should broach the subject at a conference call about treatment proticol time frame predictions- -ie... like hey what percentage do you think get well in a year or can you share how you arrive at certain predictions of when folks get well?  or perhaps it could be a one on one subject matter in our appointments  so she doesn't feel like 20 people are putting her on the spot. You are totally right about - it being fair to ask that question for finance supportive partner reasons.  but I was saying it just seems like at best - Do you think maybe she should just say -"it will take you at least 4 years!"  I'm sure she told you a year- cause your body was showing signs that seemed to say to her it was getting there. Perhaps we should let her know- don't give us false hope with predictions even if it was well intended and you were 110% confident.  I think the problem is that the body is so dynamic and changing sometimes it can be deceptive in what it presents. Like I think you can go through a time where you are better and then a deeper layer of unwellness comes up and that prolongs things?  Melsvensen-I totally agree with you on the danger of misunderstanding from the lack of inflection subtlety and meaning in emails/computer posts! I've had many a mix up through this medium of communication. To both of you and everyone some super great thoughts and insights. I so enjoy posting and reading here. you are all my anchors and wings! much love and respect. Mary

I just thought of something else... perhaps we who are on here are dealing with extra issues we may not even be aware of that affect the length of treatment.  Like maybe Matia's projections would've been correct if not for certain things in our environment, emotional world, etc. that she could never have known about, and even if she did it'd be hard to know how much those added factors would prolong things.  Like I was thinking, what if some of us are living very closeby to freeways or other pollution? - I know that's been brought up on here before.  Or if some are unknowningly living in a house with a slight mold problem?  Or if we're facing undue stress?  Or if we're facing as much stress as the next person but for our psychological/biological makeup it's just harder on us?  Or maybe we're not facing any of these things now, but we did for years before, and that was a huge invisible/silent contributor to disease that we & Matia wouldn't know about.

WOW!   I think you are def. onto something. I feel that there are toxic factories in the area I work in- I always feel better when I'm home as compared to the work environment- and I'm exposed to lots of electromagnetic computer energy my entire building 4 is wireless which who knows what kind of effect these stressors 40 hours a week could be having. The mold problem is quite serious and the fact aht lived and breathed in black mold for 5 years unknowingly MUST have had a detrimental effect. I was in treatment for candida years ago and the doctor I was seeing told me I HAD to move out if I wanted to get well. I'm grateful that I was able to do that and it made a big difference. I urge everyone to check that out! It wasn't bothering or showing up in any noticable way for my husband but it was buggin me big time giving me CHRONIC allergies and nasal inflammation. If the lungs and large intestine are connected in TCM than damage to one is going to affect the other for sure! Good things to consider/factor in. It always seems liek ther are more ways to improve the quality of care I am giving myself - some thing sI have control over and some I things I do not but anything I can change for th better I will try to accomplish. It's crazy that something like clean air, food, water and houses that won't mold is something one is privaledged to have access to everyday! Mary

  There is so much here. This brought up so many thoughts and feelings. The first thing that I would like to adress is the emberassment and humiliation when discussing our genitals. I just recently saw two documentaries with Betty Dodson a pioneer in Sexology. One of the things that drew me into the first documentary was the fact that one of her patient's had Vulvodynia and I could really relate to what she was going through. Why am I telling you this? After watching this documentary it really impacted me on a deep level. I realize how in our society we are taught as women to be ashamed about our genitals to the point that we are emberassed to even discuss them. I hear myself in Pink Lady's post, constantly apoligizing to even doctor's during appointments for " being graphic". Please don't take this the wrong way, I am not trying to scold "Pink Lady".  I just realize in myself the shame that many of us feel about our bodies and I think this only creates more barriers for our own personal healing. We all need to learn to love and embrace our bodies and honor our bodies for what they have gone through and what they are going through.
  During one of my appointments at a doctor's office. I was standing at the check-out counter and over heard a discussion of women discussing their vag/urinary problems with each other. The secretary made a face and said that she did not feel comfortable using the word vagina and does not like hearing or talking about it. This woman works in a doctor's office that specializes in these issues and I would think that she would be understanding and supportive and make the other patients feel that considering it is not socially acceptable to talk about their issues in almost every place, that at least in the doctor's office they would have a " safe zone".
 I wonder what impact my negative associations with my Vulva/vagina have on my IC? I wonder if I had a more positive association with it, maybe I would be in a better place now. What I do know now is my eyes are open, and I am definitely going to be more observant of my feelings and associations with my body.   The next thing I wanted to address was the tearing issue. I have not experienced that issue myself but in my own experience the vaginal issues are usually the easiest ones to reverse. The deeper the problem it is in the body, the more time it takes to reverse. You sound like you are smart and have a great attitude and overall it does not sound like you have too many other health complications Pink Lady. I think you have everything going for you and this will be a small blurp that you will look back on.   As far as the time frame. I don't envy Matia!! I think Matia is in a lose-lose situation here. I can speak for myself when I first investigated Matia's treatment as an option the logical question that comes to mind is how long will it take till I improve and see results? I think that if I read somewhere that it could take up to 6 or 7 years, there would be no way that I would even consider trying it. The reason that I say this is not because I want instant gratification, but because all of us everyone has a fear of being sucked into a scam. It took me a long time to gain Matia's trust. If she would have told me that I would not get better for 7 years hypothetically,  I would have automatically assumed she was some sort of quack. What am I an idiot to spend hundreds or thousands of dollars over years when its not even helping? However, after being in treatment with Matia for about a year or two I have no more doubts in my minid. I know what she does works! I know that there is no one else out there that knows even close to what she knows and I know that there are not many other promising options out there. I went through everything people are talking about here the first 3 years. I kept checking the calender and once I got to the third year, I had a severe depression and thought I was never going to get better because I did have that expectation when Matia predicted it would take me about 3 years. ( since my case is very complicated) and I did not meet that target. I also think that many times we manifest what we expect and if Matia over-estimates then maybe that could cause us to heal slower? I believe Matia is trying to be optimistic and it has been proven that having a more positive approach can make the recovery quicker.    So many things that happend to me during treatment were out of Matia's control. I also had very little emotional or social support which I think is such a huge factor into determining how long it will take. I was faced with so many humoungous crisis after crisis that would make any healthy person sick. In the last 2 years because of all the craziness I am getting on average of 2-3 hours of sleep. My body needs about 10 hours a night.  There is no way that I could come to Matia and point fingers at her for underestimating my time table.   A short time into the third year I met another IC patient  that was in a much worse place then me. She was on pain pills 24/7 including Morphine. She was in agonizing pain 24 hours a day. Most of the time she is so drugged out, so she really can't participate that much in life. After being exposed to this, as well as going through some of my own extreme health crisis (being hospitalized twice), I look at things very differently! I stopped looking at the calender a long, long time ago. I take each day as it comes and I realize that I am fortunate to have the oppurtunity to have access to all these alternative treatments such as Matia and the knowledge that I have been exposed to. I am lucky to be where I am. I am lucky to be alive! I realize that if I did not go to Matia I would not be here a long time ago. She has definitely improved my quality of life. I know that I am working hard and doing everything in my ability to take care of my body the best way that I know how. I give thanks to Matia and I give thanks to my body and I give thanks to G-d for getting me through everything that I have gone through.