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Hi beautiful souls,
I am a second time patient of amazzzzing Matia and have been strugggggggggling pretty severely in my belly (intestines) for almost three long gruelling years.....
I was one of Matia's first patients when she just finished school. She got me well after 2 years with love and patience and was fantasticcccccc for 10 years!
I took care of myself....BUT....I did put coffee mate crap in my coffee every morning and had m&m's on my desk at work....and was obsesssssssssed with sushi....ate raw fish at least 3 times a week if not more....
Fast forward ten years.....I had a horrrrrible ear infection.....wouldn't go away.....ended up taking antibiotics....they didn't help the first time...or the second time and finally they did the third time.(three 10 day doses)....5 months later....had a bladder infection.....that was soooooooooo severe.....i couldn't stand up.....and being desperate.....took antibiotics.......was fine for five months...then booooom...was traveling in Europe...and couldn't poooooooooooop at all.......thought it was just the traveling but when i came back...the pain started....I have been dealing with this since.....
I just neeeeed some support belly wise.....
I am in constant pain in my belly....can't seem to catch one day of a break....not one day...my diet is steamed mushy vegggies and meat, chicken, eggs.
I have severe bloating...feels like someone a 500 pound gorilla is stepppping inside of me...and pressssssssssing outward......non stop.....severe tingling sensations......on and off prickly sensations...also feeels like I ate 50 pounds of greaaassssy nachos inside.....i am soooo sticky....lots of discharge..i have had a millllllllllllllion different sensations in my belly..from stabbing to punching feeling to knives poking.....it's sooo different than the first time......i am sooooooooooooooooooooo depressed...we have been rotating herbs and experimenting for months and months and nothing seems to help.....
thanks for listening....
keren
Keren
I feel for you! I am fairly new to this (3 months) but, I was about to post something yesterday, saying " I NEED SUPPORT!". I have been so bloated lately that I don't want to go anywhere, people WILL think I am 7 months pregnant. I feel so fat, which is really hard when you are eating so good!!!! I feel like my whole middle is hard and so much pressure in my lower back/hips and was even VERY swollen "down there" yesterday. And lots of discharge, it doesn't feel very nice. It really does suck. Also, I have been feeling so depressed, and having overwhelming feelings of feeling lonely. So I know how you feel...You are not alone, and I would want to say to you... you can beat this!!!! You did it once, you can do it again. I hope things start to ease up for you really soon!
Listening
Keren - Hi, I am Tammera (no picture yet). I was a patient of Matia's about 7 years ago. I had IC and a prestigious university hospital explained that one of my options was to remove my bladder. I found Matia in a very round about way and she treated me for about a year. I really started having more good days than bad at about 6 months in. At about 9 months I was having mostly good days. I was a new first time mom as well. I had 4 of the 5 pre factors Matia discusses in her dissertation. That was then......Well, I am now back and in treatment too. I ended up in the hospital on 3/5. I was having episodes/attacks that seemed related to the heart. I would be laying in bed and my heart would just start pounding like crazy. I would get really nauseous and have diarrhea. I was numb in my left arm and sometimes my left leg. Sometimes this would happen more than once a night. My husband was very concerned tellingme to take aspirin and so forth. During three visits to my doctor, he suggested that I had a leaky heart valve, or possibly MS. I had a brain and neck MRI and an echocardiogram that showed nothing (other tests too). My first visit back to Matia was on 3/17. Some days I think I am making progress and others, well I just can't believe how difficult they can be. I had to force myself to eat to begin, and only in the last few days I can get food down more easily. I have no appetite except occassionally a hour before I go to bed something might smell good. I have two children 5 and 7 and have not been able to care for them as I normally would. Thanks to my husband we are getting by. I am very thin to begin with(not by choice) and am 5'7 and probably weigh around 105 now, maybe. I was 128 when this all started. I ignored the warning signs and had a few of rounds of antibiotics myself trying to combat sinus and bronchitis type issues. I think antibiotics were the catalyst for me. I had begun to color my hair excessively lately because I liked it really dark. I too went back to eating some sweets and justified it with eating a good meal everynight. I struggle with family issues with my biological parents as well. I cry daily. I cried when I read your post. I have a job I like that I am not able to be at right now. I am hoping soon.
I was thinking today that maybe to make progress in the physical realm, I need to progress in the emotional as well. I understand what you mean by being depressed, but try not to give into it. I am trying very hard myself. I am on a rollercoaster with symptoms that change by the hour. I bought some flowers and have been planting those as I can. I took antibiotics for that instant, feel better, gratification and this treatment because it is real, will not be as easy.It seems that my IC morphed into something else related, but definitly not the same. Tammera
wow wow wow
I am sobbbbing from what you wrote my sweet lovely tammera and to all of us who are suffering....i too, have emotional stuff regarding my parents....there are so many layers to our pain...wow...your sentence resonated so deeeeply in my soul....that you took antibiotics for that instant...to feel better......i tried matia's herbs...they weren't strong enough or i wasn't patient enough....and now three year later...i still can't pooop properly....can't introduce any new fooooods.....and cry and question living.....i am sending the universe a silent love poem...to heal us with love and strength...
I am sorry
My heart breaks for both of you. I am praying for you.
Struggle
My heart goes out to all first /second timers- it might not matter what time we are- cause if our bodies are dynamic and changing- of course our imbalence probably is going to be a new frontier in a sense. I really think the hardest part is the not knowing - the CONSTANT changing of symptoms and when you are not making any visible positive progress just seeming to plateau! Keren I am so sorry you are having to deal with this aweful stomach stuff! Tammera - sorry you have to come back too and navigate a different experience! I have had this mostly this year 2010 off and on but it is not nearly as severe as what you describe- however I know stomach issues very well. In fact I seemed to always have an upset/nervous/nauseaous tummy as a kid as well as constipation. No doubt this was from the antibiotics I was given for sinus/upper respiratory infections. Which I think were from vaccines but then again kids just get viruses so anyway... the feeling of bloating and gas and the stickiness and my food is a lumpy fibrous brick in my gut. WHOA! I have so felt that! I have been in treatment for 2 years. I have had enough antibiotics in my system to kill a universe of bacteria. I think a naturapath detected 23 different antibiotics in my system. Is that even possible? I know I had more than 6-7 rounds of ntibios for 7 days afor "UTI's" back in 2002. I was already screwed up before then and it took me over the edge for sure. I am better in many ways- my pain/inflammation is down_( when I stick to a VERY strict diet) not totally 100% gone but I ahve many many good days - however I think the key is that for whatever reason I am still chronically constipated. AFter 2 years of HUGE servings of fiber, exercise and whatever else it is that seems to help me go I still cannot establish a decent rythem of bowel movements. Lately its been bad. Like the worst. I might go 3 days in a row jsut fine and then skip a day or two and then my painin VV and bladder goes up big time and I start feeling toxic and moody. I still skip days. on those days of constipation I struggle to eat -and digest food. no appetite. I'm always bloated but that goes up. when I'm constipated it affects my bladder by kind of making me retain urine and at the same time can increase my frequency which is not my main problem. I get plenty of water and everything. I dont' get it. I take probiotics- this has helped my nausea and bloating and digestion as well as the SF722. I've been on them for 2 years. what is going on? Will I ever have a normal BM each day without probiotcs and tons of cajoling? - at least one without the struggle? I have never cheated on the diet. ever. the other thing that is going on - is even though a few new foods I can tolerate now- blue berries/grapefruit. I feel like I am going backwards on the diet. Chicken bothers me now. Probably not the chicken but the soy they feed the chicken. even some kinds of beef. if its not grass fed. rice cakes flare the crap out of me. things I used to enjoy like almond butter and spelt bread but nowI cannot tolerate them. so even though I'm on list 3 I feel like I'm going backwards in terms of food toleration after 2 years of HARD work this is really bumming me out. Makeup /naturally scented things- these things bother me too. But its totally clear to me that the anitbiotics did some very bad damage to my gut. I have ALOT of yeast and have had ALOT of yeast for most of my life. I am feeling the dieoff manefest as fibro symptoms- muscle tenderness which I didn't know I even had? it is just coming out of me- being pulled out of my tissues? when I think to the amount of time it took for me to fall apart- it doesn't make sense to think 2 years will be enough time to put it all right. This is upsetting to realize- cause no one wants to live like this for ANY amount of time much less one that doesn't have a general timeline. that alone can cause an anxiety attack. okay. that said. harsh reality staredown. - our bodies repair and get back in balence at their own pace- and eventually the yeast built up sTRONG and healthy with my loving doses of corn syrup through childhood and part of my adult life over long long years will weaken and get under control to healthy amounts under the daily onslaught of my GSE/SF722 napalm. It's got no choice- I'm not feeding it anymore and it knows it! and because I have been unwell since I was 19 years old and had Ic since I was 23 years old I am more stubborn than this fungus. I don't care if I am 40 years old (I'm 32) when I get balenced again. I will be balenced and healthy. if I'm not making any visible progress with my gut its probably because some crap is getting stirred up. Pain- gut wrenching pain- that has got to be die off and that is good progress. Sometimes the fact that sh** is all screwed up is a sign that you are making progress as backwards as that feels/seems. that is the yeast/bacteria/paracites sounding the death knell and taking pot shots at you on the way out. you just have to be brave here- I too have had to constantly constantly more so actually than in the beginning email MAtia for changes to my formula cause things will kinda work for a few days and then not work AT ALL. really werid. sometimes this process takes you deeper down the rabbit hole than you EVER thought you could descend.all twisting and turning.if you are in the thick of things keep going. it is more than possible to over come this. make peace the best you can to understand that for some folks it does take a LONG time to get totally well and balenced especially when you factor in the causes that brought you to that place. but- long time does not mean a death sentence FOREVER or impossible - you can do it. healing energy to you!Mary
Support Group Strength
Thank you for sharing your story too Mary. And thanks to others for responses. It is good to hear that someone else has a need to email Matia for constant changes. I have been pretty high maintenance I must say. I completely agree with your statement about our bodies repair and get back into balance. Viewing myself as a biological entity that can respond to treatment is always a plus in my day. I will be thinking about all of you. Tammera
wow to you all
I just posted for support, and then I read this thread. I'm just so glad I'm not alone, even though it means others are suffering too. Keren, just so you know, I am also a second time patient of Matia's, I was pretty good for about 8 years in between, no bladder problems, until 14 months ago, now I'm back.It brings me so much perspective to read other's experience. While are constellations of symptoms might differ, we all seem to have similar experiences. Ever-changing protocol, protocol works for several days like a charm, then stops for no logical reason. Going backwards with foods. I can so relate to all of that! Thanks for reaching out and sharing, everyone.
surrreal
thankssss to all of you for your kind ..gentle..graceful words...i know in my spirit that we can all get well...Matia brought me back to balance the first time....and at that time...she was fresh out of school...still super duper brilllliant...but without the experience she has now....and that is what makes me continue this journey of pure hell...it's super surreal...about a year ago...i had two weeks a month that were perfect....and two weeks of hell.....then....late last summmmer.....i started feeeling worse and worse...and haven't had a yummmmmmmmmy day since.....another strange thing happened....Dec 19th...got my period....it was super duper heavy...lots of blooooood clots and it lasted for 15 days.....matia finally gave me an herb to stop it and I haven't had a period since.....oi oi oi vey....Matia says this may happen.....and not to worrrrrrry....but jeeeez...i just feeel awful....and my diet is super squeeeeeeeeaaaakkky clean.....never cheated...Honeybee.....the NOT pooping is soooo awful isn't it....i am always sticky gluey inside.....very damp....but i will say that I am poooooooping more now than i have in the last 3 years...they are still infrequent...and painful...and not formed perfectly but they are a bit better......the bloating on the other hand is soooooo out of control....i am a gas factory....that won't come out at all......
Camille, did you also take antibiotics the second time around? hugs and smooooooooches to all of you!
Never posted before
This is my first post. I've been a patient of Matia's for around 10 years. I've had times where I thought I was getting better, and times when I just want to give up, like now. I think about trying other things then remember that I already did that (tortures that you can't imagine) and I was worse. I know that Matia is the only one that has EVER helped me. If I didn't have her and my chiropractor I'd be gone by now. I understand pain, depression and frustration. Just when I think I can't go on, I get a little better. Right now I've had incredible pain for over a month. I'm really depressed and of course can't get her help as frequently as I need it. It's encouraging to know that their are other people out their that suffer as much as me. In the past I didn't want to belong to any support groups because I didn't want to focus on my pain/problems. My family I'm sure believes that I'll always be in pain. My work friends don't know as I hide my pain and problems. They know I have a restricted diet, but they just think it's because I'm so "Healthy". I guess I need to log on here more and try to believe that there is a reason for all this suffering.
Peggy
Thanks for sharing your feelings Peggy. I cannot say I completely understand what you have gone through in these past years because I can only make a humble attempt to imagine it, and still fail terribly. However, I do want to say that I am glad you are here and sharing, and that we are listening - even if some people are more active than others in responding to comments, I think others will agree that we are all at least LISTENING, many of us are probably going through (or have gone through) similar symptoms and completely IDENTIFY with it.
Sorry to hear that you have been in so much pain Peggy. Hope you feel relief soon. I identified with the situation where you said your work colleagues do not know about your pain and symptoms because you hid them so they think you are on a restricted diet to be healthy. I am in the same situation in most areas of my life.
Many in my family and many of my work colleagues and friends have no clue about my pain or urgency. I know that in some circumstances we have an issue because this is an "invisible" disease (especially to receive benefits or empathy from close people), but on the other hand, the fact that I can hide most of the symptoms (at least the pain and urgency part, unlike an obvious physical disability) works to my advantage in social situations. It helps me get at least some sense of normalcy in life. I like the fact that I can still be with a group of friends and not worry about what they are thinking of me (my condition) or that they are constantly showing pity (in a mean way). They probably still think I am anorexic or have OCD (so am too finicky about the diet), but hey, they also think I am really healthy because of it and are envious in many ways, so I am fine with that perspective. Oh and as for the frequent visits to bathroom, my frequency is way better now (much less), but what I have noticed is that in many cases, if people do not know about your health issue, they will not really take notice of your frequent visits (even diabetics do that all the time).
Of course there are some other symptoms that are much more obvious (to me anyways) - like fact that I look 6 months pregnant all the time, and have a sinus infection so often and have dandruff that is quite visible in my hair, less hair overall (hair loss) and keep burping or passing gas so often - but they are such general symptoms that almost anyone could have them, I just have more of them.
I am also very grateful to have this forum where people share. It feels good to know that so many others are going through the very same things as you are.
-Hami.
Peggy~
I've been a patient for almost 2 1/2 years and going super slow. I understand suffering and pain and more pain. I have the whole ic-fibro package. Just when i think I've had the worst pain ever with something, something else even more painful tops that. I too have tried to understand the reason or point to all this suffering. But I also know that there is NO-ONE like Matia!!! She understands it all!!! Most of the people in my life don't understand or just don't know how much I'm really going through. Sometimes it can feel even more depressing to talk about it with someone who has never even had a headache etc. If you ever want to email or chat please email me anytime. ~shar
its nice to know that other
its nice to know that other ppl deal with the horrid bloating. after 14 months in treatment that seems to b the only thing that wont go away and that im sturggling with.im so thankful for being in treatment with matia. i am miles better from where i was a year ago. but as you get better its like your pain tolerance changes and things u could handle then u cant now. does anyone deal with constant head pain? it seems to b my biggest symptoms along the bloating
I get headaches reall bad a
I get headaches reall bad a lot. Can't give you any advice - they make me crazy
Peggy
Your perseverance and patience is astounding... esp holding onto the knowing that even if it's taking so long and still so rough, you are in better hands w/ Matia than going back to Western which could've made you much worse. I am so sorry to hear what you are going through, it really is inhumane, you are BEYOND a trooper. I do not see an email icon by your name to contact you, but you can email me and I will happily lend an ear and support however I can. I'm so glad you reached out... I am not a super long-timer (1.5 yrs) but believe there are other long-timers that may not post but are out there to also lend support.
BLESS YOU!!
Try elimating gluten!
I found this on www.celiac.com : "According to a new study published in the February issue of Neurology, severe, chronic migraine headaches can be triggered in gluten-sensitive individuals who do not exclude gluten from their diets." Maybe this will help to be gluten free!