Hi Taz
You are not alone.  We all face the confusion. the abject fear and anxiety that this horrible disease brings.  I came out from the UK in late Janaury to see Dr Brizman and knew that I had made the right decision.  Within a couple of weeks my pain levels dropped off and I regained a little of my self confidence that I had completely lost and even started to laugh again but the last week has been horrendous and I cannot figure out what it is.  I've gone back to list 1 as had been allowed to try foods from list 2 but it hasn't made any difference, I could be suffering die off as feel so fatigued and feverish too.  But all I know is so many have reached recovery with Dr Brizman's help and support, as one of her patients said to me whose bladder is now pain free....we all have to power through the sleeplessness, the fatigue and the pain but it is so so hard and so so scary.
Please don't despair, you will not regret seeing Dr Brizman in May and we can be there for each other as we are both newbies.
I'll send you a direct email so you can email me if you would like to.  We do need to support each other as this is such an isolating disease, even when we have loved ones, they just cannot understand what we're going through.
 

hey there..i know its all confusing and even the longer you get in treatment u still have moment when your so unsure of everything..but this will be the best thing you ever do for your health. it takes so long bc our bodies have been compromised for a very very long time even before the symptoms appeared. usually when ur symptoms appear your body has had its last straw even tho it may seem like it just came out of nowwhere. it just takes a long time to get completely back to balance..but u will see things along the way get better that will help u stay strong and know ur doing the right thing...and even sometimes things can be gone for a while and then suddenly appear when layers are being unraveled which is typically a good sign. that happens bc when your body gets strong enough sometimes and your immunre system is healing it will throw out more bad stuff...die off isnt always scary..alot of ppl just have minor symptoms....please do not be scared to take this road of recovery..its a hard journey and it will def change u as a person and make u stronger and you will be forever grateful for this gift youve been given of learning about true health! i would say the best thing to do is not to give yourself a time limit bc everyone is different...i thought i would be a 6month case but im 2 years in and still struggling with some deep issues ive had for a long time..but alot of things r better i def have came along way!

Your fear and confusion are allowed here - it at least makes me feel a bit more normal :) 
It's true that die off symptoms can be  scarey - although it can be kind of fascinating and exciting.  Often I am ever so happy that some of this crap isn't in me anymore - both figuratively and literailly.
You're right, it's not fair. I don't get it.  The fact that you're going to have  struggle with your eating disorder and IC is a double whammy. Since I'm a cancer survivor, I've turned numerous die off problems into a terminal cancer diagnosis - I nearly checked myself into the ER last weekend when I went over the edge.  I've also been diagnosed with OCD and PTSD. - long before IC became aparent to me.  So, yes, the stress of this can make whatever else you're dealing with more difficult.  The thing is, I'm not sure that I have a choice any longer. 
I wasn't able to follow protocol completely - I had celebrated being off all anti-anxiety medication.  Now I have to tell Dr. B that I'm back on some of them - it is what it is.  It took me a while to forgive myself - to let myself be weak, regroup, and be strong again.  Maybe that's something that you can do for yourself too?
If you're like me, you've started a journey.  At times it's been scarey, and I've done it kicking and screaming.  Other times, it's been empowering.  However,I am not trained in much of anything, except maybe picking my ass up again when something else has knocked me down.  So, if I'm out of line here, feel free to have at me.  My guess is that your eating disorder has to do with anxiety?  i know that a huge amount of my problems are.  So, on this journey, I've tried to find tools to help me - to bring me comfort and peace.  Anyway, I've found this incredible book - the title has to do with getting through depression.  HOWEVER, it is really about mindfullness - about not letting your mind spiral down into whatever dark place it takes you - it has been life altering for me - and I'm only a third of the way through.  It also comes with a meditation CD.  Anyway, it's called THE MINDFUL WAY THROUGH DEPRESSION by Mark William, John Teasdale.  You might give it a whirl.  Also there are some incredible brain wave CD's that you can go on line and down load - I know quite a few people on this site, myself included, have found them extremely helpful - http://www.brainsync.com/kellybio.asp  You'll actually be able to hear blurbs of them before you order.
All my best - you are safe here and won't regret finding yourself here.

Hi Taz, I'm also like you starting the journey, scared and frustrated at the realisation that this isn't going to be a drop in the ocean, that it'll take time and a whole lot of effort to get well and that my entire lifestyle and outlook will have to completely change in order for me to conquer this disease. 
I too developed eating issues - I never realised how dependent I was on sugar til now and i'm finding it VERY hard to give up along with the cigarettes, alcohol and prescription drugs.  But I have so far..I'm off my tabs, I don't smoke or drink and I'm avoiding those beautifully wrapped, tempting sweets that I've always found comfort in. 
I'm going it alone at the moment as I haven't the funds to see Matia but I can't argue with the fact that I think this approach is the right one - I've already seen and felt the evidence. 
It's a real bummer that we've been so rough on ourselves over the years that we've made ourselves ill but I figure that I've given enough time to being sick - time for a change!  :)

Matia once said we are lucky to have IC because it has given us a chance to learn about how to be healthy for the rest of our lives.  We are lucky because IC is not life threatening and we can turn our lives around before something more serious gets us.
I know I am lucky, not only because IC has made me change the destructive way I used to lead my life but because I found Matia and I am so lucky to be her patient.  There are many out there who would love to have Matia to help them through this but are either too sick to travel or do not have the funds or support.
I have found being grateful is very useful when dealing with die off symtoms which can be draining but it means the treatment is working.
So please don't get disheartened you are certainly doing the right thing and the fact that everyone who is a patient of Matia is so encouraging tells you that it is the right thing to do.
Remember that people only tend to post on this board when they are having problems and there are many who are now getting on with their lives and are not on here all the time.  I always found it useful to read the success stories rather than comments on this forum before I started treatment.
Also just following the diet as you are will cause some die off issues and this in itself can upset you emotionally and make you feel very anxious.  Just never doubt you are on the right path and look forward to  your appointment in May.

Hi Taz, we all understand how it feels when you are about to start this treatment.  Like many other patients say, once you start to feel better you don't read on the board very often anymore.  I'm a patient of Matia for 2 years now and I can assure you that this is the best thing that you can do.  I'm still struggling with different things but I have improved and changed in many ways.  I'm not the same person as 2 years ago, I have also changed emotionally, I feel different about life, I have more self-confidence and I have become so much stronger,...  It doesn't only improve your health but it changes you completely.  And as you improve, you will also learn to deal so much better with the bad days, you know that they will not last forever...  I also wondered a lot why we got this disease and others can live a normal life.  But I realized the last 2 years that we still get a chance to improve our health and many other people don't even get a chance to fight...  I wish you all the best and know that you will also get there, it can take a long time but you will surely get there!
Vicky 

Taz, YOU WILL RECOVER!!! Yes, it make take a long time, or may not be so long, depending on your body, but you already know that. But one thing you should never doubt when going to see Matia, is that you will absolutely heal yourself on this path, with her help. And look what a great support system you already have!!!
Hang in there, good luck, and just try to have faith in this process.

I soooo understand your natural fears and concerns about starting treatment.  A couple months before my IC got really bad I initially came across Dr. B's site.  But I was turned off & scared off after looking at the diet restrictions and reading some of the posts.  I should've started then instead of starting only after a whole body breakdown that little did I know was to come.  Yes, treatment is not always easy for some, but don't let that deter you.  Had I not done this treatment, it would've been the worst decision of my life, both for my IC and overall present & future health.
Because we're focused on our fears, symptoms, concerns, etc., and b/c many who have the most troubles or take longer are understandably the ones on here seeking support, and b/c most recovered patients are off living their lives, sometimes there's not enough POSITIVITY and HOPE and LIGHT on this site. But take heart that Matia is very clear that the population online is a TINY percentage of her patients, so this site really skews the reality.  According to Matia, most every patient either recovers completely or gets back to close to normal life.  And personally, I can tell you my bladder is almost asymptomatic thanks to Matia and I'm able to eat so much more and do things like sex I thought I'd never do again.  I will also share that even at the 50% point, I said to myself, "As much as I want full recovery, just to have gotten to this point is a miracle, and if I have to live like this compared to the hell I was in before, I'm still so grateful."
As far as die-off symptoms, sure, sometimes they're scary, or troublesome, and for a small few very diffcult, but Matia usually manages it pretty well or gets you out of a jam if you're struggling, plus I think most/all of us would agree that suffering through the TEMPORARY die-off is worth the PERMANENT recovery and life free of IC pain & misery.  More and more in life I'm reminded how anything that's worth it, anything I really want, requires sacrifice, and usually more sacrifice than I feel ready or willing to do.  But sometimes if you hem and haw over it too much, you never take the leap.  So make the jump, and on the way you'll find your wings.