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I don’t know what has gotten into me but I am feeling down in the dumps after my constant intestinal issues since last week. I have been eating, but I’m back to losing weight (again). I woke up last night with a hot burning pain inside my vagina and down my legs, I have no idea why but it has left me VERY scared, anxious and depressed. Dr. B adjusted my doses (no probiotics & no Vita D3 for now) but I just can’t shake this extreme anxiety and lack of concentration. I would love to hear how others in the past have dealt with this and how those current are dealing with this now. I’m really needing someone who understands to give me some hope. Pain level, it just tingles down there and I’m not sure why but its leaving me very uneasy…
Anxiety
Hi Adriane,
It's going to be ok - you are safe here and it will get better. If you're ever extremely bored search out the word anxiety in the search box. I promise you, you aren't alone in this. I think that reading their stories, which SO includes myself, will make you feel better.
I've mentioned this before, but I've gotten through many a rough time by downloading a CD - that I found mentioned on this site. It's called http://www.brainsync.com. I ordered several of them. The one that seemed to help me the most was the brain massage one. The site will actually let you listen to short blurbs of each CD. There was a time where I lived with earphones on - including sleeping.
So, your vagina is on fire and not in a good way. :) I've yet to have that particular thrill - although I've read other peoples stories on that one. My favorite thing to set fire, is the inside of my nose. Then my teeth kind of join the dance - that hurts like hell. Oh, and then my tongue! However, the worst has been my ribs - hard to walk for two weeks, and my jaw that was excruciating. Luckilly, that only lasted two hours - the hot pack helped.
You are healing, but at the moment you may have lost your mental perspective - this whole thing can be so so scarey. Please trust from someone who has been there, and knows that slowly but surely it does get better.
Take Care,
These are feelings that I
These are feelings that I think we all have. When I am having really bad days I feel the return of anxiety, of fear of how on earth can I keep going? But these times pass and mentally we get through.
This is a really tough condition to deal with but as Matia has said in many of her posts it is an opportunity to change our whole life and that is how I am trying to view this.
You will get through this tough time, you will feel calmer. I am sure that you do, but remember to breathe, breathing deeply can be really difficult when feeling so anxious and scared, believe me I know but it does help, try to let the fear wash over you and continue to breathe.
My thought are with you....
Hi Adriane, Speaking from a
Hi Adriane, Speaking from a fellow newbie (I am only 3.5 months into treatment) I completely understand the anxiety you are feeling! I had the blessing of almost three great weeks with a very stable bladder and heart... then these last four or five days I began having some of the discomfort/pain around my heart and my anxiety is back. It's tough because I began to feel like myself again and you see this great window of peace and THEN... back to worry-ville.
I regularly search posts on here to find company in my stressful moments and it really helps me to post, read, do whatever to find the wisdom to remind myself that I am not alone in this and just because I feel like I am regressing does not mean healing is not occurring.
So, Denise, it only took me about five times of looking into brainsync to finally purchase it. You are right that this is amazing stuff! Also, I remember reading in one of your posts that it is helpful to almost look outside yourself once and awhile and be able to think "hmmm, that's what happening now, how interesting":) Helpful to be able to look at this crazy disease with some objectivity and humor.... it's not the easiest condition to explain to someone... ya know?
Lynette, great advice to "let the fear wash over you". I am working on that one.
How are you two feeling these days?
Last thought... I actually emailed Dr.B about this very topic because I feel very outside the "IC Box" (no pun intended;) because many of my symptoms are occurring in my heart. She shared with me that one of the greatest lessons she has learned is that there is not really anything in IC that is outside of "the box" and all imbalances manifests themselves in different ways in each of us. Good news is that we are healing.... slowly.... even when we think we are regressing.
I think I needed to write that as much as for you, Adriane, as for me;)
Katie
Brain Sync
Hi Katie,
So happy it helps - I think Nicole, much earlier on in this site - recommended it. So, THANK YOU Nicole!
I am haging in there - up again, DOWN again. But, as you say, we are healing.
Take Care,
Thank you ladies
Its good to be able to post in an honest and safe area where I know others understand. I get my mind going that I feel like I'm spiraling out of control. But since IC changes even by the hour sometimes, what has helped me ALOT is getting everyone's support. I knew coming in it was going to be tough, probably tougher than labor because its an ongoing journey. I know I'm improving but because even though I eat I see my BM's not functioning, I see my body getting thinner and then the anxiety kicks in. I will take your advice to buy the CD's. When I listened to the demo quickly at work, I felt a twinge of some sort in my head which was really weird.
Denise - I'm sorry to hear that you have burning in your nose. Why is that? I'm just curious what that could mean. And I can only imagine how achy ribs would feel, like you cant even move
Lynette - Definately taking your advice to just breath. When the next time this happens, I will think of this and try my darndest to remain calm.. I find myself getting anxious over EVERYTHING in my life, even non IC related. It feels like I'm not in control which for the 1st time in my life, I actually dont know how to do with that. I'm a type A / Taurus personality who has led my life always in control. That being said, how do I tell my brain to just chil out? LOL. If anyone here can figure that out, you would make my husband (totally laid back) super happy. I know this is part of what I need to work on, not being so 'in control' all of the time and let things just flow...
Katie - How are you doing? I'm really sorry to hear that your heart issues are back. I wouldnt even know how to deal with that on top of IC. IC alone is so difficult. Please do keep us posted. Not to get religious on everyone but I do pray for all the woman here who are dealing with this and knowing that you have this to deal with on top, plus being a mom.. that must be tough.
Tinkerbell - If I remember correctly... you were one of the ladies (along with Deir) who convinced me to start this journey sooner than I was planning to back in September. So you have had the same pains? I haven't been put on bifido (I'm on the superdophilus amongst a few new things Dr. B started me on today). Do you know what the difference is? You are totally right about 2 steps forward and 1 step back. Last week, Dr. B told me I could start List 2 but you know what? I know I'm not ready to so until I get through this setback, I chose to wait. Why make things worse until my stomach can handle new foods... By burning and stinging, do you notice that it comes and goes throughout the day? Mine does, but what drives me crazy is when I have to get up and pee the tinest amount, then a few minutes later, have to do this again.
I will keep you posted on how I do. For now, the pain has subsided to a manageable level, thankkfully until it decides to come back again. Its very strange how it comes and goes.. I'm sure its not over for tonight. Mornings are tough for me as my body is telling me I need to have a BM and then the cycle begins yet again of the dreaded pain. What keeps me going is that just about 3 weeks ago, this went away and I had 2 solid 'normal' weeks. I know this will pass, eventually. Its just good to know that you are here to listen and lend your support. THANK YOU! I picture it as we are all sitting having coffee in a coffee shop and sharing our journeys (granted, I will never be able to drink coffee again) but you get the point.
I too am a Taurus
I too am a Taurus Adriane and have always been a control freak and yes that is one of the hardest things that because we are ill we cannot be in control as we were. I find it difficult as it goes against our 'natural' inclination to be on top of everything all the time. I was always so much happier when everything was in order etc etc and frustrated and even confused when not but now I am having to try to let it go, it is not easy but it is a way of being kind to ourselves to let ourselves know that in the big scheme of things it doesn't matter.
I think it is wonderful that you have a laid back husband as I'm sure that he can help you in your most stress filled times. I would love to have the support of another adult, it is hard that it all comes down to me even though there are so many times when I would love to have someone to look after me. I do hope his laid back way will rub off on you and help you to let go.
Facing each day knowing there will be ups and downs of pain is so hard, I scream for relief sometimes and beg for the torture to end but then have to do the breathing and find if I can 'breath into the pain' it does help so yes please try it but don't be hard on yourself it you don't manage to calm down, you are human.
Take care and I hope you start to see premanent moves in the right direction very soon as I do for all of us here.
i am a Taurus too!
i am a Taurus too!
Coffee
Hey Adriane
My bet is that you'll be able to drink coffee again - most of us do and it's like this HUGE celebration. I gave it up once, after finally being able to drink it again, thinking that it had to be the reason ffor my anxiety - spent hours researching it and decided that I was alergic to it. I went through ten days of withdrawl hell - didn't make a damned bit of difference.(By the way, ResearchNerd - you were right) So, keep thinking about that cofee shop - unfortunately the bar scene is gone. :(
As for my burning nose - I think that most of my yeast and bacteria is now in my head. It's all been one wierd "head trip" :) after another....
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
coffee...
I hope so but I am reluctant due to the fact that I would fear my IBS would kick in again. Once that intestine acts up, all hell breaks loose. Yeah, alcohol, someone just asked me today if I can drink and I said no, unless I want to feel like crap forever. I’m OK giving that up, it just makes invites to social events very difficult… especially work related client events.. sucks..
Happy Turkey Day too! It will definitely go down in the books as the 1st time I cant eat anything my family eats. BUT, I’ll survive.. : )