Forums:
It seems apt that today British summer time starts that I'm to notice the Great British public are ventruing outdoors from their winter hibernation and heading to the Great british institution known as the pub.
So far I have avoided restaurants/bars and social occasions which involve other people drinking alcohol but I'm finding it increasingly difficult and of course isolating.
Soon my partner will have moved in and will be continuing to sup his tasty ales, the very same ones that he introduced me to some 4 1/2 years ago which I'm now considering to have started my worsening symptoms of IC..??! Anyhow I digress.. Please would you share your coping strategies when others around you are merrily drinking and having a darn good time of it.
I'm feeling pretty angered at having to miss another evening out due to this godforsaken illness and if I saw an opportunity to join some hippy, healthy living sugar/alcohol/drug free cult right now - I'd ask em where I had to sign!
Love love love
Hi, lord love you, I am over
Hi, lord love you, I am over in a country that makes drinking a national past time (care to guess where I am talking about!) so I can completely understand how you feel. And Ive been over in your neck of the woods and had those ales, so I double understand.
Ive gone out with family, in laws and friends a good few times now in the last 3 months (been on my own regieme that long) and its been ok. None of them are big drinkers and the few that are, dont say anything. Its the work occasions I am dreading though, which will be coming up over the summer, thats when it will be very tough so I am trying to figure out what I will say.
Do you hope to have a drink in the future, Missmadmolly? I know Matia doesnt encourage going back to alcohol but for me, wine was such a good part of my life (I was in a wine tasting club).
Hiya Taz
I'm thinking Oz maybe??
As for going back to alcohol- I can't even dare to think about it. I've kind of hit the wall this weekend so to speak and feeling alot of resentment for the predicament I'm in.
Me and alcohol have had a good time too..I loved wines especially red and I'm feeling pretty mad that it's off the menu for me, maybe forever.
I was doing pretty well up until now - just concentrating on getting well but I can't ignore the fact that I'm pretty hacked off at all my limitations.
The rebel in me is fighting back!
Hi missmadmolly,
As someone who had a hard time giving up on alcohol, mostly wine, I could say: It is taking sometime to be ready. I am a grad student and at the end of the weeks, friends of mine get together, have drinks at happy hours, concerts, or parties, etc...Before treatment with Matia, I was kind of on a strict diet as well, and I was trying to find a way to deal with alcohol&friends. I was either avoding hanging out with them, or drinking less. But whatever I did, it was hard to find the balance. This kept going after starting treatment with Matia, though this time due to the detox affect of the herbs, it felt worse after drinking alcohol. I tried to be strong and not drink out but I literally did not enjoy my time while everyone else was drinking, its a different feeling to be sober when everyone else is kind of tipsy. I did not know how to deal with that. I was very strict for months and then suddenly started drinking just a glass of wine here and there, which never helped. I think I broke this cycle with EFT( tapped on several things, and I think the two important parts were that I felt simple when everyone else was drinking wine and me water, like water is not elegant; and I was out of circle, like not part of the group when I was just not drinking. This might sound silly, but I think there is an underlying affect when we can't give up on sth even if we want to). It took sometime but I am doing fine now. I don't desire alcohol though sometimes I miss wine, I mean I miss me drinking wine. Last weekend, I was at a party, and kept drinking water and after a while I drank hot tea. Also, before EFT, I was really frusturated when ppl asked me, but now I don't even care. I just say I am on a medication and alcohol just doesn't help. The most important thing is that, I dont need alcohol to relax, its like I am already drunk-) I am hoing so much that this will be like that forever. Hopefully you wil find a way to cope with that, as well
Thanks for your input selda.
Thanks for your input selda. I'm speaking to a friend of mine at the moment who's been dry (as they say) for 2 years. She tells me to take one day at a time so that's what I'm doing and it seems to help me in not getting so mad.
As I've been saying to a friend on here, there has always been a need for me to have that out of control feeling, where the barriers come down so I can misbehave and blame the drink I suppose. I do come from binge Britain after all! We're all so stuffy, we can't relax without a drink. Not that my drinking or partying has ever been a regular thing, as the restrictions have always been there due to my poor health.
My anger I expect comes from the choice being taken away from me.
When I do think back to those mornings after and my misery and embarrassment of what I would consider to be making a fool of myself it doesn't seem so worth it. Add in the pain and lousy feeling for days after and it seems alot to suffer for a few drinkies!
It's not been so hard to not drink whilst at home at least and when I'm out I'm hoping I'll become one of those fun loving, charasmatic characters that can entertain and amuse whilst stone cold sober - but I highly doubt it!
I'm hoping I can find the relaxed feeling you speak of. Being drunk without being drunk sounds too good to be true..
Thanks again..
I read your text again and
I read your text again and what you said about water being simple in contrast to wine it made alot of sense. Thanks selda I'll bear that in mind. Very helpful :)
I can really relate to you
I can really relate to you when you say your choice has been taken. That used to make me angry, as if the diet was not enough strict while going out with friends, the emotional side of the treatment, moodiness, staying at home, etc..Wine or the pleasure of having just a glass of wine was taken --I never felt free, always restricted and stuck. Though now I think opposite: I think I am free of alcohol, I feel like I dont need that to be relaxed --it is a different perception and I have this since 3-4 months, beforehands I was very pushy and not gentle on myself, was like a battle and suddenly that anger was making me say: Enough, I will have one.
So, I would recommend you not to be pushy but you migt want to be strong. I had given a little bit of chioce to myself when I stopped, if there is a great event, special occasions I will take a champaign to celebrate. I think one glass of champaign in 2 months or so is not big deal. and may be in the future I wont even do it.
To me being strict it doesnt help until I am ready: just like no choice. Tell yourself: I can have this if I want, but I dont want to. This gives a little bit of choice and might help. If it doesnt help, just have one glass slowly, may be not more. And EFT might help, too. Just think, you are in a bar with your friends, everyone is drinking beer and you water. Why does it bother you?
Btw, I was not alcoholic or
Btw, I was not alcoholic or sth-) Once or twice a week while going out with friends, and a glass of wine with dinner sometimes.
Thanks very much. I'll keep
Thanks very much. I'll keep these things in mind.
alcohol
Yeah-
I get bummed about this too. I'm also in grad school too Selda! I found it was kinda hard to have to explain over and over why I was drinking club soda at the bar--I actually lie sometimes and say gin and tonic hehe.
As far as drinking goes, I kept cheating on this front for the first year and a half, and it really held me back. However I do let myself have a night of debauchery every 6 months. This is actually just enough for me, and its usually so painful (hang over) the next day that I don't want to do it more often than that. I might skip it this time around though. The last time the hang over was so unpleasant. However, after crazy finals I feel the need for the release.
What do you guys do for relaxation? I just feel so tense all the time--constantly worrying about eating, drinking enough water, sleeping enough PLUS the other stresses of life.
Hey Researchnerd, I know that
Hey Researchnerd, I know that feeling to of not being able to relax. However, Ive started working on this and I am slowly getting 'me' back. What I did was, make out a list of things I used to do before IC struck, that were fun. Slowly, I started back on doing one of them each week. One was fine gourmet meals with my husband...ha! Ok, so I cant really do that now but it was upsetting me so much to think I couldnt do this with him, so we were able to compromise by still going out but me ordering what I can have and not stopping him what he wants to eat. The result has been some lovely meals out, really relaxing and realising that food is only one part of the experience of being out. I used to do writing and had stopped classes but I started back again last week. It has been so good to be back, even if I am not doing homework yet, just being back has made me feel normal again.
researchnerd
"This is actually just enough for me, and its usually so painful (hang over) the next day that I don't want to do it more often than that"
I know what you mean, I have done this couple of times and its not really worth of more suffering. Before the treatment and during the treatment hangovers are really different. Anyhow, as for telling others: I am hoping with time you will not feel a need to tell others. I really started to think about way less than before, I used feel anxious when ppl kept asking me but lately it is so comfortable. Indeed ppl don't notice-)
I am still worrying about the food, not being able to do enough exercise, etc..and very tired of this stuckness and lately I have this hopeless me whether i will have this issue forever. For relaxation, I listen classical music and read poems with some candles around me. I got couple of plants a few months ago and started gardening last week, and noticed it is a great relaxation time: playing with mud, having my own organic food at the end. I think I will apprecaite the growing process of the food and will value it more. Also, for sure, it is way more delicious than the organic veggies that I get any store.
this is so hard
Hi all,
Thanks for this string. I was following the diet closely for awhile, then strayed for quite some time after I experienced some progress. Counterintuitive, I know.
But now that I am trying to be strict again, I am having enormous difficulty. The weather is warm and I just want a drink. Or to be able to go and eat without checking the menu in advance. I know the day will come when I will be able to eat spicy food, or have an occasional glass of wine, but I sincerely wish that day was now.
Thanks for the words of wisdom and advice. Good luck to everyone.
Also
if you really have a hard time with alcohol, let Matia know about it. She could at least suggest you the less damaging ones. Thats what I had done. She is very understanding.
My ears have pricked up at
My ears have pricked up at the suggestion of less damaging alcohol! I know that vodka is a potato grain so that one figures but pray tell what are the others..? ;)
Well,
When I say less damaging I meant the one has less sugar, which is vodka and you are on the right track. Though after trying vodka(pure) I got drunk so easily couple of times. So in anyhow it is always trouble at the end:-)
wow I am so happy others are
wow I am so happy others are having trouble with this too! I find this to be the hardest part of treatment!!!!
vodka
haha. yeah. this is what i do. still exceptionally painful in the end though. ugh.