OK everyone, this is somewhat personal, but I am not sure who else will really understand this.  I have really started to feel much better after about 7 months of treatment with Matia.  I have a long way to go, but progress is being made. However, there is this big thing weighing on me...

             I have a wonderful boyfriend who I have been with for a little less than a year. He is very supportive and understanding when it comes to the diet and herbal protocol and my level of energy.  He has chronic lyme disease and as a result eats similarly to the way I eat and tries to really take care of himself in order to help his immune system. 

             From the very beginning of when we got together, I told him that I wasn't really up for having a lot of sex because it caused so many symptoms for me.  We've had sex a few times, and I usually end up in some pain after.  However, the last time we had sex (at the end of August), I went into a full-blown insane flare that was really traumatizing.  Like, the worst flare I've ever had.  As a result, I'm really gun-shy (so to speak) about trying again. Matia said that because he has lyme, I have to use condoms because my body can't handle his microbes. I have ALWAYS found that condoms created symptoms for me, even when I didn't "have IC" in a constantly symptomatic kind of a way. So I've been hesitant to try sex with condoms even though Matia thinks that's the best approach. He has been pretty understanding with this, but lately he's been less than patient about the whole situation. 

            So my questions is, how do you handle this negotiation between intimacy that is OK for you, and things that cause you pain?  I have so much anxiety about this and want to be good to myself but also understand that it's difficult for our partners.  At this point, I'm hardly enjoying anything sexual with him because I'm just so nervous.  And it's not like we're married, so where does that leave me?