Forums:
I wonder how you deal with stress and IC? I have had a lot of improvement during treatment the last 2 years, but I notice that stress has a big influence on my health. I'm going through a difficult time in my relationship, having problems and doubts and this causes a lot of stress and anxiety. Stress about the doubts and anxiety about the future, I'm scared of being alone again, what about starting a new relationship, it's not all that easy with IC... I hope that we will get through this and that we will stay together, but in the meantime I can't seem to let go of the stress... I notice that my urethra inflammation and vaginal irritation have increased lately.
Did others also go through relationship problems during treatment and how did you deal with this?
Thanks,
Vicky
stress
Hi Vicky,
I'm so sorry that you're having a rough time. From what I've read on this site, you aren't alone in having relationship problems during treatment. I'm not sure if I'm the best person to give advice as I was married for 27 years and ended that rather abusive relationship three years ago. The last straw was when he told me that the only respect that I deserved was a bullet through my head; all this from a man that I felt more alone with than I ever did when I was by myself. Ending that relationship was the scariest thing that I've ever done. While my IC wasn't full blown, I had survived breast cancer twice - my insurance was tied up in that marriage. Anyway, terrified, I put my big girl panties on and hit the road - new job, new town near old friends, and on my own for the first time in my life with my cat. I spent a year getting to know me. It was scary, it was incredible, it was empowering. Fast forward three years - have survived cancer once again. Before being hit with it for a third time, met the most incredible man who has stuck it out through the breast cancer and the IC that hit right after the last cancer treatment. I have found someone that I have felt safe with and loved by; something that I have never had in my life.
I am no poster child for anything. I have done all of this kicking, screaming, sobbing, and mentally a paranoid anxious wreck. Only you know, in your heart, if this man is worthy of you. Because lady, you deserve the chance to make yourself happy.
All my best,
Hi Denise,
I'm so sorry to hear what you have been through, it seems like you have been fighting for a very long time. It must have been really scary to take that decision but it's wonderful that you met someone who makes you feel so good. For me it's a different situation, after going through all the health problems, me and my boyfriend kind of drifted apart and both started living our own lives. It's like we lost each other during the whole process... I was doing a lot better but with this stressful situation my urethra symptoms have increased a lot, it's scary to be in this kind of pain again but I trust that it will get better.
How are you doing with the treatment Denise?
Vicky
stress
Hi Vicky,
Thank you for your kind words. After I read what I wrote I realized that I kind of made it about me. Is your boyfriend willing to try to reconnect again? I think that often our responses can flectuate to the extreme in treatment; which probably makes living with us like being on some bizaar roller coaster ride.
Being in pain again, after it has gone away, is like some sort of cruel joke. Sometimes we know what we've done to cause it. Other times I'm at a complete loss. I do think that stress can make things worse - I have found that happens to me. For me, when muscles tighten, it seems to cause problems. It seems that this disease has so many things that factor in.
Me and treatment? (Oh good, NOW it can be about me :)) My bladder and urethra symptoms can go days without bothering me. My thing seems to be anxiety, muscle pain, headaches, floaters in front of the eyes, and exhaustion. It really kind of torks me off. I thought once my bladder was doing really well - I would be "cured."
Hope you're feeling better.
Hi Denise,
It didn't feel to me like you made it about yourself, not at all! Thanks for responding to my message, it's always encouraging when you get support from others.
Me and my boyfriend will try to reconnect, but you are absolutely right about the roller coaster. I realize that it must be difficult living with us sometimes...
After a good period, it can be hard to feel the pain again. I think that I also tighten my muscles too much when I'm in stress, this can certainly contribute to a worsening of symptoms. I changed my herbs now and I think I'm having quite some die-off, but it means that bad stuff is getting out of my body again.
Sorry to hear that you are still struggling with those problems, but it's good that your bladder and urethra have improved a lot! For me it's the opposite, I improved in many ways and feel a lot stronger, but my urethra is still bothering me. I hope you will also feel better soon, we have to keep going and trust that it will all get better!
Vicky