had a bad day with MOM

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I just need to talk about my day  with my Mother. She came over to visit me and she wanted me to quit seeing Matia. She says after 8 months I should be well. She wants me to have this surgery where they make a bladder out of your intestines. I told her even if that invasive treatment did work it wouldn't cure my IC. I tried to explain to her it;s not just a bladder disease. She wasn't hearing me. it has left me feeling so beat and my head is killing me. She is always trying to come up with new treatments for me yet she will not read the site she will not read the stories she just wants me to take some pill and be better or some surgery. I try to tell her it's not goona happen. I don't understand her and she doens't understand me clearly. I don't know what to do she pays for my consults with Matia and she just doesn't belive in waht i am doing. It's not what i need to get well at all. I can't work right now so i feel like my hands are tied.

natasha149's picture
natasha149

Nicole, I HEAR you! It took my mother 5 years to stop trying to sneak "secret" ingredients into my meals when she came to visit and cooked for my family. I don't think a person free of this disease is capable to fully understand the extent of the commitment needed to beat this horrible thing. I am sure your Mom has the best intentions, and so did mine. It was only after I significantly improved and had a healthy baby she finally understood what Matia did for me and for our family. As for the money, may be you can apply for a loan, I am an immigrant and put myself through school (food, clothes, room, etc.) fully on a school loan. Or just the idea of you trying to do it independantly will help your Mom understand how serous you really are about the treatment with Matia. DONT'T GIVE UP!Natasha.

veryhappymom's picture
veryhappymom

Nicole,  I just wanted to encourage you to continue on your healing path.  I have met several IC patients at my pain doctors office that have had their bladders removed.  They still suffer with severe, chronic pain even though their bladder has been removed.  In my experience, the more one adds medications to their bodies that more toxic the body becomes.  Maybe you could print out a few of the success stories on this site for your mo to read.  My mom is a nurse and has become very supportive of treating my IC naturally after reading the book, Along the Healing Path.  It is a book written by an IC patient, who recovered from IC using natural methods.  Dr. Brizman's protocol is much better since she has had years of experience and is a qualified medical professional.  Her dissertaion is fantastic although it would probably be less likely that your mom would read it.     Maybe you could journal your healing process and share your positive experiences with your mom.  Healing is hard work and you are strong enough to overcome this illness.  You can do it!Sharon

icnot4me's picture
icnot4me

I'm sorry about your mom.  This disease is so lonely and isolating without close family members taking the time to read about or listen to where you are coming from.  My mom, who understands what I am doing for the most part, still gives me a hard time on ocassion.  She is always watching these infomercials or health/supplement shows that tout miracle products and she always thinks she has found THE answer.  She gets  upset when I don't want to take it.  I don't know how many times I've explained to her that I'm not being stubborn, I just have a bladder that doesn't tolerate everything well.Hugs to you girlicnot4me

nicole's picture
nicole

thank you everyone for your ideas and support. I know she has the best intentions. I just can't understand why she can't put the same energy she does into other treatments in to my choice. I think printing the stories out is a good idea. I can't get a load i already have two homes and one on the market for 3 yrs now. Also my borygriend has his house we have been trying to keep afloat. There are things that need major repairs so we can get it rented. he has been living with me for 5+ yrs and been my care taker as of the last yr.  I need an actual care taker it's not fair for him but I can't not aford it. I need to relieve him and rid my mother of being my provider. i was suposed to open a day spa in my house. Everything is allmost all set to open just a few loose ends and inspections and of corse my crazy emotions hormonal anxiety.  If i had someone to relive my bf to get everything done things would fall into place. The yeast and hormones are just taking my brain over.  i feel like a different person and i can not funtion.  Iam riden with anxiety. I am farmilar with Cath simone. I game my mom Mati's book she says she doesn't have time to read it or go to the site. I think she prefer to be in the dark. She doesn't want to face it yet she seeks out other means and that makes me mad. I just want her to comfort me when i see her and not be trying to fix me she can not do it. She needs to trust what i am doing.  I do journal but my steps are so small they mean nothing to her.  If only i had some help just to finish things off everything would work out. I don't have any friends here I have lost them all because I don't leave the house. It is sad I guess there not real friends but I really need a friend to help me now.

janejones's picture
janejones

What about if someone who has finished treatment, (I was thinking Jane Peters or Jeanne Townsend maybe), would be prepared to speak to your mom on the phone to assure her that they have recovered from IC thru Matia's treatment and that it is worth you following the treatment. I'm sure yr mom wants the best for you, she just doesn't understand that it takes time, determination to follow the protocol and buckets of patience to get better, there is no magic pill out there.As for friends: you have all of us on this forum as your friends.

nicole's picture
nicole

Angela is so wonderful, she has offered to speak to my Mom. My Mom hasn't called her yet but I will make sure she does.
Thank you Andela and everyone else for all your support.

toreyg's picture
toreyg

i dont know what to do anymore. everyday i have such a hard time with my mother not accepting my illness or my chosen recovery path. she really doesnt even think im sick b/c no doctor here found anything wrong with me. she thinks im making it all up and that everything im doing is just absolutly crazy, she thinks it a joke. she actually thinks i should be working MORE  than i already do which is 12 hour days(full time).ive tried to explain things to her and she doesnt give it the time of day and i just end up getting sooo emotionally upset and feel awful.the best thing to do is just ignore her but i live with her which makes it impossible alot of the time. she comes home EVERYDAY with loads and loads of sugar and junk and i feel like shes rubbing it in my face and making a joke out of my sickness?i just really feel like im losing control,i just need to find some strength im trying so hard. im sorry everyone for venting like this but i have no where else to go. i appreciate so much when i get positive comments,this is the only place that i go and feel somewhat relieved and it helps me stay strong.thanks so much everyone

emmarenee's picture
emmarenee

No doubt this added stress will make you feel worse. Stress plays a big part in the way I feel. Venting is good for you and this is the place to seek positive feedback. It sounds like the more hours you are away from the house and your mom the better. I think it's normal in our society to not understand this disease. We are told 24/7 that we can just take a pill for something and we will feel better. It may be futile to try to get your mother to understand what your going through. On the outside you look the same. I wouldn't spend any more of your precious energy trying to make her understand right now. Maybe when you start showing visual signs of improvement ( less tired, eating more things, etc.) she'll believe in your chosen treatment. Many times just reading the success stories help others understand better that this is not in our heads but very real. Hang in there. Tammy

emmarenee's picture
emmarenee

P/S Kudos to you for getting yourself thru this basically on your own. I think you are amazing and you inspire many of us to keep going. Tammy

toreyg's picture
toreyg

thankyou for your kind words.i hold onto these positive comments,they get me through the hard times. they mean so much to me:)

veryhappymom's picture
veryhappymom

  I have followed your IC treatment with Dr. Brizman, and wish that I had started on this path earlier.  I went the traditional route and became severly ill after the IC diagnostic procedure.  I went in to the doctor with mild pain/ pressure and left in with severe, pelvic pain.  I was no longer able to work and could hardly care for my family.  If I could go back, I would much rather have no diagnoses and a milder case of IC than have a diagnoses and be in intractable pelvic pain.  You are going to get better so much faster because you avoided filling your body with chemicals and trying risky medical procedures.   We recently sold our house and are currently with my family.  My mom is addicted to sugar.  I can resist sugar filled snacks but have so much trouble resisting baked goods.  I was so down that he promised to make something less tempting in the future LOL.  Also, you might want to consider starting a new post on your experience with your mom if you need more support. Hugs!Sharon