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Hey Ladies,
Have any of you experienced grief over your loss of freedom? I am really feeling it today. I am making progress (had a much less painful period this month, and the good days are increasing), but I am having a hard time being patient with not being able to sit or drive in a car because the pain is so bad when I do.
Also, do any of you take pain pills occasionally? Every once in a while the pain gets so bad that I have to take something (it is approved by Dr. B, though she wants me to avoid it, obviously). I find that the day after I take one, I feel extra sad. I guess it makes sense that it would feel that way because it gives a little bit of a boost emotionally when I take it. Knowing what the repercussions are helps me to hold out on taking one unless I'm really in over-the-top pain. Do any of you experience this?
Thanks,
Lisa
Loss of Freedom
Lisa:
I was feeling thoughts of regret and sadness this week. It is hard to look back at the health choices I made (along with lifestyle choices) that got me sick. But I think we just have to keep moving forward and believe that we can recover.
I also thought that your psot about your mom was right to the point. I have been trying to remeber that other problems are equally, if not more challenging.
Have a good weekend.
Bonnie
Bonnie, You are right that
Bonnie,
You are right that we have to keep moving forward! Expressing our feelings of grief, sadness, or regret is healthy too. This forum is so wonderful because it allows us to express those feelings in a safe place with people who get it. I think it's all part of the healing process. To have your feelings validated is important. It's easier to move forward when our need for compassion is met.
Having bladder and vaginal pain and other types of pain and imbalance in our bodies is tough to deal with. And yes, with Dr. B's help I believe we will ALL get better if we keep at it and never give up!
My mom is such an inspiration to me. She keeps living her life to the best of her ability. She has people that help her on a regular basis, and we need people to help us too. She is an inspiration to the people around her, and we can be too! We actually have a tremendous opportunity to be living proof of how giving the body what it needs is the path to true healing. Because of what I'm going through, my family is eating much healthier and I have some friends who have been inspired to do the same. It's awesome!
Lisa
Hi Lisa Ann
Sorry that you're in a rough patch - I would so like an instant fix. For me it's not pain meds, it's anti-anxiety meds; which can be such a relief for the short period. (I guess it's pain medication for my emotions)However, like you, I too suffer the next day with feeling either sad or angry.
I truly believe that we're both getting better.
Take Care,
Denise, I'm sorry you are
Denise,
I'm sorry you are experiencing anxiety. I know how difficult and scary that is. I dealt with that a lot when I was in my twenties (I'm 43 now). I spent about two years altogether in counseling and did some forgiving of people who had deeply hurt me, and that made a huge difference for me. I'm not saying that's what you need to do, I'm just saying that's what I needed :)
I was on an anti-depressant for a year and a half to help with the vulvodynia pain. It really did do a good job of masking the pain. Before I got off of it, I could function a lot more normally. But I knew it was only a mask. I want REAL healing, even if it takes experiencing pain to get there. And that is what it takes as we both know so well. Dr. B told me over and over again to go slow because getting off of it would be really hard, and she was right!
But I must say, I am slowly improving and healing. The pain is more tolerable and sometimes I hardly feel it at all. (Now, if only I could feel that way while going for a drive in the car.)
If you want to talk, feel free to email me. You can contact me through the forum.
Lisa
Let me tell you. I often feel
Let me tell you. I often feel sad and deprived. That I lost my freedom.
I know a lot of people here would say the opposite. What is list 1 or anything like that compared to good health...
Yes, I think I will also start thinking like that once I feel that my symptoms are being eased. I am only one month in to treatment, and I know it is too soon to ask for miracles. But it sure would be nice.
Once you feel better, I guess it is easy to not think of the treatment as a deprivation. But most of the days I do feel it is. I look at my friends....having their second child now, most of them... Or I tend to think at any girl or woman passing my way, that they don't have this. Today I was looking at a cute couple in the store, discussing what to eat, and then grabbing a bag of candy. Ohhh, man! I just wich I could be normal, and don't have to think about all my restrictions...
Well, to answer your question. Oh yes, I feel that I have lost my freedom a lot of times during the day.
I just wish I was a normal woman, mother, waking up in the morning, getting ready for work...to later in the day pick up my daughter at daycare and to be able to prepare a noice dinner, and play with my child! Have dreams and plans!
Now, my life is not like that. I am in too much pain, to be able to work.
And eventhough I stay at home during the days, I am mostly too tired or in too much pain to be able to play with my own child.
Dear Kristina,
I so believe that it will get better.
Kristina, I really feel for
Kristina,
I really feel for you, having a young child at home. When my cousin was in treatment, she also had a young son at home and it was really hard. She was able to have someone come and babysit for a few hours during the day to give her a chance to rest. Is that something you might be able to do?
She and I have often talked about her son (who is now six years old). She was so worried about the fact that he was growing up with a sick mommy who couldn't do things that other moms do with their kids. And she was worried about being sad all the time and him seeing that. But, you know what? Her son is one of the sweetest, most compassionate kids I know! At six years old! And now she is a happy mom who lives her life to the fullest. Her life isn't perfect, but she is back in the game, so to speak. In fact, she and her family are heading to Korea to pick up their adopted son in a few weeks! So they are adding to their family and giving a loving home to a child in need.
Things will get better for you, Kristina. I really believe that! Hang in there! This loss of freedom that we are experiencing is only temporary. Sometimes we just have to remind ourselves of that and love each other through this tough time, and it is really tough! We must acknowledge that! We are fighters and we will win if we don't give up.
Lisa