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I need help dealing with my anxiety. The past two years have been too much stress on my body and on top of the IC I don't know how to deal with it all. I need any stress mangament ideas please. I haven't left my house more then 6 times in 7 months excpet for some light walking in my neiberhood.
I am so tired that I can't even seem to walk that much. i just have no energy.
I went to an online support goup about agoraphbia because I was diagnosed with that a ways back but it was very depressing. I don't feel that it is my true problem. I was never ridden with anxiety pre IC. I have done all the allergy testing and such and I am treating all I can with Matia. I am not local though and I have no friends except my boyfriend. My family has no understanding and they want me to come for Christmas. They don't understand that fear I have now. I don't know why I can't go but I can't I want to.
I know I have horomal imbalances and yeast as well and apparently I can't treat the hormones because it will cause the yeast so we have to treat the yeast and by doing so I think my hormones are suposed to balance themselves but i am having a real hard time with that one.
I am really sick of sitting here every day by myself. I have to get out of here. I have lost all my friends and I am very lonely. I have a few people that call me but it is just not the same. I really need some help getting out of here but every time I try I am so tired that I only make it down the street before I want to come back and go to sleep.
I am so sad and I don't want to be like this anymore.
9 months
SCRATCH THAT ITS BEEN 9 months OH NOOOOOOOOOOOO I really need help
maybe?
Nicole,When I first began to experience the syntomns that I now recognize as yeast related- I was having really bad anxiety attacks as well as extreme fatigue. I didn't know at all that it was yeast related and my issues with this really waxed and waned over the years until I went through my first cleanse for candida back in 2004. after that it was rare until now that I've been in treatment I have begun to reexperience them for the first time in years. But back then when I was getting aniety attacks they were accompanied by a crushing depression. I would be anxious about things like traveling and about getting sick and I worried constantly about things beyond my control- it would be about mortality. I was often convinced that something terrible was about to happen to me or that my boyfriend was going to die or something. Those times were very dark and I was overcome with dread and despair. I had developed a terrible fear of getting sick while traveling because I was already feeling so badly and I didn't know why and then to be outside of my safety zone feeling worse was even more terrifying. My family bought me a plane ticket to visit my brother in Ecuador. That was months before my anxiety attacks began and during that time my phobias developed into something huge- I decided that I did not feel ready or willing to travel- I was soo terrified of dying or getting sicker so far from home. here I was gifted this amazing trip and I wanted to embrace it so bad and instead I was just shaking in my boots. The ticket was non-refundable and I felt like an idiot to refuse so I just steeled myself to go and I journaled the whole thing to maintain my sanity. I faced my fear and let me tell you- all kinds of crazy things happened to me- I actually did get very sick while I was there and I also had this really intense moment of panick attack where I was convinced that something had happened to my boyfriend and since I couldn't call home to see if it was true being in a remote village for many days until coming home- I had no idea. Of course - fears like this aren't rational but at the time they feel very real! So I had this life defining trip in a lot of ways - going deep into the heart of my worst fears at that time and really withstanding them. Staring down some demons! . It was extremely difficult and I cried alot and exhausted myself worrying but it was sooooo important that I deal with it. At that time it was the only way i knew was available. I wouldn't suggest anyone else do it like I did it. i probably could have benefitted from some other coping methods other than sheer willpower and a desire to overcome my phobias and get some control over my life. It was very very powerful and painful. That was in 1998 and since that time I spent long years like you educating myself on wholistic healing and medicine. I studied massage and meditation which helped soothe my battered nervous system. I think though after I came home from ecuador al victorious from facing the monsters and took home with me with me memories of its beauty - the anxiety attacks subsided tremendously.I've had them come up a bit during my treatment albeit much milder versions and attribute them to die off reactions.Rescue Remedy has been a boon to me since then. Maybe that also helped them fade out. I think they make it in a creme formula- I wonder if this is safe for us to take as opposed to the brandy mixture which is not. I am going through some intense emotional issues as part of my treatment process and have been researching EFT- (emotional freedom technique) /Hypnotherapy as possible ways to help me process and let go of old unhealthy/limiting thinking patterns and negativity. Maybe you could explore and research that- I hear that it is really good treatment for anxiety and maybe a therapist could meet you and work with you in the comfort and safety of your home? I hope that you feel better really soon- I know how isolated you must feel. It will change. You will see. Sincerely,Mary
Thank you Marry
It is so hard to be patient with the yeast cleases. It is so slow and when your loosing your mind you don't want the remedy to be slow. I am sorry you had to go through such a hard time but it is nice to relate to somone. Thank you for sharing your story Mary.
I am not sure about the rescue remedy I have never taken them before. I hear they make them in tablets now. I will look into the EFT too I think that is a good idea because it is not a bandaid.
I know i have old fears because I have a history of epilepsy that stands in my way of healing. It's been 5 yrs since I have had a seizure and I haven't been on any meds in 11 yrs. I have had a lot of nurological funky stuff that is all liver related. I mean they say that the epilepsy is liver related too it's just scary for me to get past those times even though it's been so long. I am sure I could use a therapist to talk to. I tried going a few months back but It didn't work out because of my fears. I was able to get to certain places at that time stay on the same side of the road no crossing lights you know back roards are easier for me. The theripst moved to a really busy part of town before we got started and so I never got any help. I have never found a therapist that comes to you I think that is part of the therapy getting out of the house. I should look into it though. I was thinking of getting a personal trainer to help me get some excersize someone that would come to me. Because I have lost most of my friends I don't really talk to anyone and that just keeps me in my head even more. I have a few friends that i talk on the phone with that I have met here from Matia and I have some online friends but that isn't the same as talking to someone in person. Theres only so much I can expect from my boyfriend too. He is very supportive but I still need some friends.There is no local support group here for IC sometimes I feel like having others to relate to would be helpful in person not just here in the boards. This board isn't even that active. I have been trying to start up my own but I am having trouble finding others in my area.
I really have a lot on my plate too I don't know what I was thinking sometimes trying to open my own busines. I had no idea the kind of stress that would bring up. My bladder was doing a lot better when I first decided to do this. I still haven't sold my house It's been on the market now 3 yrs. So I own two homes the one I am in is a 1925 old florida house in this art district commercial neiberhood. I am trying to open a day spa here the hard part is over now it's just all the legal mumbo jumbo. I need a lawer to help me sort it all out. I have put it all on hold because of my anxiety and my IC just can't handle it all. TO top it off my boyfriend lost his renter so we have had that added stress. He is my rock we have been together 5 yrs now and he takes care of me so much. I want to get over all this so he and i can lead a normal life get marriend and just do normal couple things.
It doesn't help that my birtday is around the corner and I always seem to look back at my acomplishments for the yr. I just want some normalcy to my life.
anxiety
I know how bad that anxiety can get--it's like a viscious cycle. You go out, it creates panic that exhausts you when you are already exhausted, so you hole up at home and isolate, which can also increase anxiety, and around it goes. I have been in the same cycle in the past. I don't think I've suffered with agoraphobia to the level you have, but I understand how debilitating anxiety can be. It used to get so bad for me, esp at night, that I literally lost the ability to fall asleep for months. I would just lay on the couch, watch tv, and let the anxiety run its course. I would get so afraid of something terrible happening, like Mary, I was afraid to go anywhere or do anything for fear of getting even sicker. I did eventually see a counselor, although getting better physically calmed the anxiety the most, esp getting my heart rate down. It was 130 beats a minute, resting rate, b/c my immune system was so overtaxed. With a heart rate like that, the slightest scare would put me over the edge. It was like being in a torture chamber. Is your resting heart rate high?The counselor gave me some info on panicking, it said that panic feeds on fear. There is a double fear at work: fear of whatever it is you are afraid of, and fear of the fear response itself. I was always afraid of the panic--the racing heart, chest pian, wet hands, etc. so uncomfortable. The info she gave me actually says to let yourself give in to the panic rather than fighting it. Fighting it increases the fear. The panic attack will pass. I am not the best at doing this, I tend to fight it and feel guilty for having the attack in teh first place, giving in feels like a lack of control but it supposedly helps diminish that second fear of the fear itself. As far as the depression, man, cleanses, etc, can make you feel very depressed, on top of all the presssures of having a serious disease as well as all you are missing out on in life, and watching others close to you suffer as well. One thing that has helped me is to purposefully look for even one tiny thing that is an improvement--dwell on it, thank God for it, speak about it to yourself and others. It can help lift some of the depression.icnot4me
I don't think my resting rate
I don't think my resting rate is that high sometimes it gets high but that is more in my head I think. I have been ablet to just lay through it and pray most of the time but I am sick of it controling my life. It is just recently starting to get to the point where I am able to be alone for some time with out freaking out. I was making Adam a prisioner too so that was not good. I am still not totally ok with being alone but I am getting better at it. I thought well it's time to work on somet things to help me because the last thing I want to do is let it go on. The longer it goes on the harder it is going to be to get over.
It doesn't make it easy walking up with constant pain and going to bed with constant pain. I am not sure I can thank God for my pain more for strength to deal with this pain. I do need to claim my tiny improvements I supose. this is such a slow road.
response
Sometimes Matia would have me drink chamomile tea if my heart rate got too high, but it could cause bladder discomfort. I'm certainly not saying to thank God for the pain, just improvements, lol! I know it is a very slow road. hang in thereicnot4me
Thanks Icnot4me :) Matia did
Thanks Icnot4me :)
Matia did have me on Chamomile and it did help my anxiety but my bladder wasn't ready for it. It did actually help a lot I wonder if there is some other tea. I really love drinking teas I think even the act of it helps me out of an attack.