The IC disease has taught me many things about myself.
I never thought I would say this, but I am at a point where I am grateful to be on this journey. A disease is a temporary state of being and an opportunity to look inside and make changes that allow for more growth and more happiness. At the beginning of treatment, I knew this, but I had never experienced it.

This post is for all of you and specially for those who have started the treatment. I remember what it was like... the trip to LA, the hope that I would heal, the doubt of trying yet another method, yet another doctor...
Then there were the first days, and the first weeks. The constant waiting, the expectation. The deception of not improving steadily, quickly, predictably.

I had read a lot of spirituality books and somehow felt that this illness was keeping me motionless and fixed at home for a reason. But it was only shortly before a year into treatment that I started to really look inwards. And what I found was astonishing.

The point is, it took me a long time to just realise that I needed to be active about the mental and spiritual part of healing. Most of us come into this treatment wishing that we could snap our fingers and make IC go away, because the suffering is terrible and often, we have suffered long before meeting Matia. I thought that I would be done in 6 months.
Also, there is something scary about trusting an individual 100% and not knowing how we can help ourselves. Matia is a teacher, and gives us tools to help ourselves through nutrition and lifestyle. She teaches us that we have some power in our life. Despite this, I often felt powerless, at the mercy of fluctuating and incomprehensible doses of herbs :-) Surely, there was something that I could do, on my own, to help myself. (There had to be a better way to use my time than by freaking out all the time and falling into despair.)

The good news is, we have complete power over our thoughts and how we feel. This is what I want to talk about and the reason of the lenghty intro :-)

Anxiety, fear and constant stress were my companions at the beginning of the treatment and I now see that not only were they showing me aspects of myself that needed to be addressed, but by not listening, I was involuntarily hindering my own healing progress. So if you suffer from anxiety and know you have fears, I suggest that you ask yourself why and look deeper. But keep in mind that just as we can't go along the road of recovery by self-administering ourselves herbs and probiotics, sometimes, we can't heal ourselves spiritually and mentally on our own either.

Lately, I've come across some pretty incredible material that got me SO calm, I just had to share with you!! If you are anything like I was half a year ago, your thoughts are spinning, you feel anxious, emotional and far from being grounded. Meditation is even harder than it usually is, because die-off is an additional load to deal with. Sleeping is not as rejuvenating as it should be, because we frequently wake up and sleep itself is often light, sometimes disturbed by nightmares...
Nicole had been mentionning the Healing Meditation by Kelly Howell in some of her posts. This is a fantastic CD (Thanks a million, Nicole!!)   
To read more about Kelly and her work with brain waves click here: http://www.brainsync.com/kellybio.asp

While listening, your brain waves are brought to delta, which is for deep sleep, regeneration and healing. The guided meditation is wonderful (Kelly's voice is very soothing). As a musician, I am very sensitive to kitchy new age music (can't stand it), accents, voice tone, too much echo, etc and don't like to be distracted from my meditation with any of these factors; on that level, I was very pleasently surprised with this CD.
I also find that guided meditation in general is extremely helpful in times when thoughts just keep popping up like mad, making it difficult to concentrate... and also when one is beginning to meditate.

Obviously, I need to let more time pass before I can state long-term benefits. But already, listening to this CD nightly has brought me to a state of deep sleep (wow) and I often wake up in the morning exactly in the same position, realising that I didn't get up (wow). I also experience deep relaxation during the first part of the meditation (I often pass out during the second part, which is not guided anymore) and my body feels glued to the bed, very heavy and I feel energy tingling all over. It is very interesting...

I can only guess that sleeping soundly every night for weeks will have a great impact on my health... as a calm and positive mind will help my healing (not get in its way like stress and anxiety), and from that place, I can make healthier choices for myself.

I am sharing this with you because I would have been very thankful to have this CD at the beginning of treatment! (or years ago, actually haha) Being somewhat of a compulsive nature, I am now exploring a few other meditation CDs, that I will be more than happy to review for you, if any of you wish me to do so :-) Next in line is a CD that will bring my brain to theta waves, as to create an optimal state to receive my positive suggestions. Yes, like hypnotherapy...

If you would like to contribute to the thread, please do! Add your reviews and explain why you liked or didn't like something -while trying to stick to the subject :-) And details please :-) we all love those.
I hope this helps someone out there, looking for a way to feel his or her power...
A big hug to all,
Ballerine