Nicole,

  My heart goes out to you at this time.  I am in a tough place right now as well.  My darkest hours were two years ago when I hit rock bottom.  My IC was so bad that I could hardly care for my family and my husband's job was unstable.  I asked God to help me because I was desperate. 
  I started a study by Beth Moore called Psalms of Ascent: getting to the next level with God. I am not a Bible study person by nature and get bored easily LOL.  Amazingly, every word in that study resonated with me.  I often laughed out loud because Beth had "read my mail."  By this point, I was a desperate and was grasping for God like a drowning woman.  As I was meditating one day, I felt this amazing Presence.  What shocked me was that the experience was able to change my emotions even though the pain had not changed.  That event was the turning point in my illness.  My spirit was strengthened and it was only a matter of time before my body started healing as well.
  You are such a giving person.  So many lives have been touched by your generous spirit.  I know your encouragement was critical to my starting treatment with Matia.  I know you have the strength to make it through this difficult time.  It is always darkest before the dawn.