My vent: I'm having a flare today for the first time since starting the bif - everything buzzy and irritable, and I'm remembering how grim it is!
 
But on the hope side: I had nearly two weeks (since Sept 9) of feeling basically 90%-100% normal. It was WONDERFUL - had forgotten how easy and pleasant life can be. And even remembered to be happy about it over the weekend with a sick three-year-old! And ... it gave me hope that there'll be a time when I'll feel like that for good.

Deir......Very balanced... I like this idea.
V: We have had to take a break on finding a combo that is right for calming my heart rate down because I have caught a cold.
H: The tooth pain has gone away and I have been able to successfully tolerate foods on list 3. 
I am starting to think I should keep a journal with thoughts like this. 

Lets see.... vent... I had my protocol changed and the next day I was feeling great, but that only lasted a day..... bummer, and trying to get up to 2 Bif's 3x a day has been extremely hard and I still can't do it!
Hope is knowing that I have had days of feeling completely normal and I know they will come again!
Deir, I have always highlighted my hair at home, with a frosting kit, the kind you pull through the cap. I really want to switch to the safer kinds but I am so worried my hair will turn orange. I have used my same old color kit twice and so far, and I was fine both times. I am not advocating doing this but I think since it didn't actually touch my skin it wasn't very hard on my bladder.

I brought my dye to the salon and the stylist mixed and applied it. It felt great. It does look a little orange, honey color to be exact. That is the lightest color I could find in Naturtint. But better than nothing. I am satisfied.

Being that today mark day 6 of diet one and I'm barley starting, this helps..  I too am looking for a hair color but I see I will need to wait until at least List 2?  The greys are out, ugh.
Vent:  Today, I took off my acrylic nails after 4 years having them on.  Kinda sad (I'm a nail biter)...  I feel so naked w/o them.  Yep, vanity... I also had a serious bout of depression ALL DAY this Sunday.  Why?  I have no idea but I was able to snap out of it come Monday.
Hope:  2 days of no flareup!  This is HUGE for me.  I'm sticking to the diet one list and it has been helping tremendously.  I even tried caulifower for the 1st time and despite thinking I would hate it, I dont mind it.  Although I gave in Sat night with leftover teriyaki chicken since I was starving late at night.  Note to Self:  dont do this again!!  I paid for it all day Sunday.  There is hope that I'm on the right path and counting down the days to meet Matia for my 1st appt on Oct 7 (only 17 more days to go)!!
 

Vent - I've been doing this far too long - am so tired of it all - the dark circles, the exhaustion, the sinus headaches, and not loosing weight when I gave up dessert.  What the heck gives with THAT?! Oh, and I want a flipping margarita on the rocks with salt.  Or, a peach balini.  Or, a mimosa.  Oh, and plumb wine.  Gosh, I loved plumb wine....speaking of whining :) I am tired of the little bumps all over my body, the whicked itching that still occurs, the bottom of my feet hurting, and one minute madly loving the man in my life, and the next minute wondering how I'm going to find a place of my own that will let me bring my five cats. (OK, I know, five cats is not normal - actually four, the fifth is a deranged kitten)
Hope - I AM BETTER. I can pretty much eat what I want if it isn't the forbidden things.  the inflamation, from a bunch of surgeries, is giving up its grip.  The sinus headaches don't happen nearly as often, sex no longer hurts, I haven't had a UTI for well over a year, my anxiety which was off of the chart, has become fairly well controlled, my pap exams are now normal, I AM SLOWLY HEALING (OK, the slowly part is still venting)
Deir - thanks for the great idea!

VENT - After definitely the best month since starting, and another couple of good days, I am suddenly in the last couple of hours having a REALLY nasty flare - urgency, which I haven't had for ages. The urgency always really scares me, and makes me think I'm going to get really bad again. AND - it's my birthday! Sob!!
 
HOPE - I had a lovely pre-birthday treat with my partner yesterday - went to see Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy at the cinema. Felt fine all the way through, and then came home, ate tuna steaks and spinach and had lovely sex. Six months ago, couldn't have managed the cinema or the sex!
 
Oh and just a minor extra vent - it is my birthday! - I am so sick of having spots on my back! Have had them for about nine months now and it sucks!!

Thanks calieve! Alas, it's been another average day today - nothing unbearable - just aware all the time. Period due tomorrow so hoping it'll get on and arrive and I'll get some relief. Have really noticed in last three months as things have calmed a bit how much everything's tied to hormones - before my period is always sucky.
 
So! Today's vent: I'm still not there mentally, with this. I find it impossible to focus on how good things have been when they're bad again, and impossible to believe when things are bad that I'm getting better, despite empirical evidence to the contrary!
 
But hope: I feel much less bad before my period this month than I did last month, and MUCH less bad than I did the month before that (which was a doozy). Onwards and upwards!

Vent - Me too, before my period this month I felt really crappy and I was blaming it all on trying to get down 2 Bifido's. Now that my period is over I am feeling really well and the Bifido's are going down fine! I did notice this month that my cramps weren't as bad either, each month they do get less and less.
 

Ah, Christine, interesting! Are you finding you notice it more as you're improving? I never noticed hormonal stuff when I was just generally feeling crappy! Roll on next week. I've felt generally really hormonal this month  - breasts really sore since ovulation, spotty, you name it! Hmmnf.

V - My hair looks like it belongs on a witch! It used to be so nice, now it's dry, frizzy, dull, gray and thinning!
 
H- My bladder was good for 3 days straight, but right now it's alittle annoyed but nothing too bad.

Vent:    My body feels like I've been hit by a truck. I have a headache and I'm fed up with IC.
Hope:    I had a few really good days over the weekend where I felt pretty normal bladderwise.
Christine:  My hair is gray, I quit dying it and I feel like I loose 200 hairs a day instead of the normal 100.   

All hope today!! Firstly, I got my period, thank the good lord, and secondly, I just had my appt with Matia and she has ok'd me to try some list three foods!! I am SO excited - though also a little nervous. Am going to try tomatoes first - who'd've thought it, for us ICers?!
 
OK and small vent. Spots! Luckily, I mainly don't get them on my face, but my back and chest, hmmph. I have been trying one thing that seems to help, though - the oil cleansing method with jojoba oil. A slight improvement, I think ...

Read all of your posts and was good to see that there are so many that I identify with:
Vent - We changed my meds on Friday and pretty much immediately my frequency and urgency went through the cieling and the pain level followed.  I am in my ninth month of treatment and still have more bad days than good, I had had some good days and it is really tough emotionally and mentally to deal with being pulled back into the pit of misery again.  We changed things Monday but they have not improved yet so have given in today am off work with my daughter who is ill and have just given in and sat on the sofa all day watching films...I know this isn't good and I should be meditating and deep breathing to keep the body calm.  The house is a tip and I should be cleaning it up but cannot be bothered, just want some relief from the pain, burning, constant wanting to go to the toilet.......enough all ready!!!!
Hope - I did have a week of pain levels down to a 1 to 3, like you Dier I never have a whole day being stable.  I felt like my 'old' self at work, had confidence in myself and a little more energy rather than feeling completely exhausted.  This is the most since starting treatment so need to remember this but like you Sarah it is hard to think positively when having a bad day...ooops...that sounds like a vent, sorry!
Thanks all of you for your posts, I hope we can keep this up as so many of you voice things that I feel, makes me feel like I'm not the only one.......
Wishing you all so many more positive improvements leading to alot more hopes than vents.
L x

I COMPLETELY AGREE.  I'm in the same boat.  A little more than 3 years of treatment, still cant tolerate list 4, cant even tolerate an apple.   In grad school and get stuck eating things that are "clean enough" sometimes and make me flare like crazy--but I just don't have time to spend all that time cooking.  Plus, I still have plenty of shitty days, and I'm really really really tired of fellow HEALTH students being up in my face about my dietary choices.
 
Hope:  I'm pretty sure I'm not going to get any ghastly diseases, and further more I know I'm going to age well.  

I didn't want to freak anyone out about saying I still have bad days after 3 years. I also have cheated in the past etc.  So it might not take as long as for any of you!  We're all different.
 
I'm going to post an awesome treat recipe for list 3 that should be ok for you Sam, thats super satisfying.

Deir, After I had my Cecilia (my 18 month old), I was up and down like crazy. It was like I could NOT find footing to stabilize my bladder no matter what I did.... remember... I am not a rookie at this either. I know my body pretty well after 11 years of having IC ... so I thought....I know what makes me flare and what doesn't, I will pull out of this quickly. WRONG! I had months of ups and downs for no apparent reason and then suddenly...the inflammation calmed down. 
So.. I understand why you are upset. List 1 is NOT easy, but my experience is that my bladder inflammation stabilized and quickly as the disease came and once that happened, I could not be triggered so easily by food. 
Also.. remember that these lists are very subjective. For example, I stabilized on list 2 when I went out to see Dr.B. She moved me to List 3 the following week BUT I still cannot tolerate some stables of list one or two... like eggs or wheat, spelt, kamut. So, even though I may say I am on list 3, there are things you can eat that I couldn't even think about.
I am sending a hug to you. We are all in this together:)
Katie

What's interesting is how my symptoms changed through the time. The feeling of discomfort varies in nature and appears in different places with slightly different supplementing symptoms. Before, my main concern was bladder pain, then vaginal itching; now it is pressure and bloating as well as pain when I hold passed first symptoms of urgency. The others still present, but they come and go while the ‘main’ symptom hangs for a while. I am hoping I am going through stages of healing. Otherwise, it may look like I am getting worse because every few months something new hits out of the blue, something I am not used to and unfamiliar with. Of course, it is puzzling.  
I thought I have inflammation (and I still do). My new symptoms are pressure and bloating along with personal record urgency. I am on list 2 (sparingly trying list 3). I don't know what's going on. I almost feel it is some kind of food reaction. I tested for allergies, they didn't find anything, which I just have hard time believing. Why would my stomach bloat and gas any time I eat? Like Deir, I am noticing that I may be tolerating fewer foods than before (or if it is food intolerance perhaps it took a while for those milder offenders to start making real and noticeable adverse difference). Bottom line is that I felt the best on list 1. I may have to go back to list 1. 
I also know that I must get more vegetables in and be more active during the day.

My hope is a long shot. I can reach there one step at the time.
 
 
 
 

Have you seen this Sam?  Natasha posted it awhile ago--its free delivery in NY.  I'm going to get my first batch this week, but I've heard its pretty awesome.  They have goat yogurt.
 
http://uddermilk.com/

hi ic family!  I saw dr. brizman on friday the sept 30th and the trip was AWFUL, i had extreme pain in the urethra, i felt like calling 911 on my way to see her.  once i met her, i felt some emotional comfort. 
v:  i've been feeling beyond burning pain in the urethra and dr. brizman said it's because of the flu vaccination.  i didn't know, but she said she wouldn't recommend vaccinations....so now i'm suffering even more so.  i feel like i can't go on with this pain....i wonder when will i get better.
h:  just reading some of the HEALING stories gets me going.  i know that i will get better.